Total Drama Hetalia
by Russia-kolkhoz
Summary: Canada is inspired by the Canadian reality TV show, Total Drama Island, and decides to re-create Camp Wawanakwa and invite 22 other nations to compete in the same challenges that the campers in the TV show competed in. The prize is a whopping 100,000.
1. Chapter 1

**Before we begin: This is going to be my BIGGEST PROJECT EVER. I am a big Total Drama fan, and when I saw a YouTube video titled "Total Drama Hetalia", I thought, "Why don't I write a story about this? It would be awesome!" I knew that some (or most) Hetalia fans wouldn't be big Total Drama fans, so I decided to make this story as un-confusing as possible by starting with the first season, Total Drama Island. I hope you guys find as much pleasure in reading this as I found in writing it. =)**

* * *

Matthew was curled up on his sofa, watching Total Drama Island, his favorite reality TV show. He had a platter of fresh-off-the-stove pancakes (with maple syrup dripped over them) in his hand as a snack.

It was the last episode; he had been watching the series marathon the whole day long. He cheered aloud when Owen won the prize money of $100,000. As the season came to a happy conclusion, Canada leaned back from his position on the edge of his seat and gave a contented sigh. As he watched Owen celebrate, an idea so huge, so magnificent, started brewing in his mind. _Why don't I re-create Total Drama Island and have the other countries compete for the $100,000, just like in the show?_

"You…eh…what's your name…why do you look so thoughtful all of a sudden?" Kumajirou questioned his owner from beside him on the sofa.

"You'll see, Kumakichi," was Canada's response. "You'll see very soon." He reached for his phone. "Hello? How long would it take you to re-create the set of Total Drama Island?"


	2. Chapter 2

**These rules are EXACTLY the same as the Total Drama rules. I want to make it as similar to Total Drama as possible. (It's also why I only put in 22 countries; sorry if your favorite country isn't in it.)**

* * *

"What did Canada call us here for?" America whispered to England.

"How am I supposed to know?" Arthur retorted.

"The sun is starting to dry out my beautiful hair," France complained, holding his hands up to shield himself from the sun's rays. "I'll have split ends by the time Canada comes!"

No one had noticed that Matthew was standing right in front of them. "I'm right here!" he shouted with all the breath in his lungs. "Can't you see me?"

"He's right here, you know," Cuba informed them, arms crossed, a scowl on his face. "He's been here the whole time, dumbasses. We were both here before you guys came."

"Seriously? Man, that is jacked up," America pouted.

"Would you mind translating for Canada?" England requested. "As we can't hear him, well, you know…"

"Okay," Cuba agreed. "He says he called you all here today to ask you to participate in a special event."

America was the first to reply, as usual. "Of course I will! There's no way the hero can miss out on a special event!"

England was not as enthusiastic. "Tell us more about this 'special event', and if it sounds interesting, I'll consider it."

France scratched his beard. "It depends on what the special event involves doing. If it is something that will bring harm to my beautiful self, you can count me out!" He did a dramatic hair flip at the end of his last sentence.

"Special event?" Russia looked up at the sky thoughtfully. "I think it might be fun. But I'll only do it if China comes with me." He laid a gloved hand on Wang Yao's shoulder.

China cringed at Ivan's touch. "Um…you're making me uncomfortable-aru~…" he told the large Russian man.

"A special event?" asked Germany. "To be honest, I don't really have much interest in unproductive stuff like this."

"What if it's an anime convention?" Japan had a hopeful light in his brown eyes.

"Or a pasta-cooking contest?" Italy chimed in.

"It's probably just a fucking scam," Romano sneered, kicking at the dirt.

"Come on, Lovi, don't be like that," Spain chided, his goofy smile on his features. "This will be fun."

"Is it anything to do with music?" Austria pondered, a delicate hand on his chin.

"I sure hope so, Mr. Austria." Hungary clasped her hands together hopefully.

"That would be totally lame," Prussia snickered. "I hope it's something that can let me show how awesome I am."

"I'll show you all in this event that I can be just as good as you!" Sealand vowed determinedly. "Then you'll have no choice but to accept me as a nation!"

"I'd prefer for it not to be physical," Ukraine groaned, rubbing her back. "I don't think my back can take any more."

"My brother is coming too, right?" Belarus inquired. Her eyes shot daggers at Russia. "Right?"

"Wait, what's happening?" Greece had just woken up.

"Maybe you should pay more attention," Turkey said, his voice layered with contempt.

"Sounds cool," Hong Kong commented, then fell silent again.

"Special events were made in South Korea, da-ze!" yelled South Korea.

"I hope it's not dangerous," Taiwan fretted. "What if I'm eaten by some wild animal or…"

"It's going to be a good chance to make some new friends," Seychelles assured herself, a soft smile on her face.

"Everyone shut up!" hollered Cuba. They all complied. "Let me sum up this event: You're all going to be competing with one another for $100,000."

Every country's eyes were fixated on him. Money? Now he was talking.

"You'll be divided up into two teams," Cuba continued, satisfied that he at last had their full attention. "Every three days, the teams will participate in a challenge. Whichever team wins the challenge escapes the elimination of one of their members. However, every week, the losing team has to vote off one of their players in a campfire ceremony. At the ceremony, all but one nation will receive a marshmallow. The one without the marshmallow has to leave the competition, _never_ to return.

"The last country left standing wins the prize money. The contest will be held right here." He glanced at the crowd of eager faces. "Are you in or out?"

A chorus of "in"s resounded throughout the forest clearing.

"Then welcome to Camp Wawanakwa, campers!" Matthew mouthed. Cuba made this announcement to a slew of cheers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay, it's time for teams!**

* * *

"First things first: we gotta assign you to your teams," Cuba relayed from Canada. "If your name is called, go stand on the left side of the clearing.

"America." The self-proclaimed hero sprinted over to the left.

"Show-off," muttered England, rolling his striking green eyes.

"England." _Aw, fuck._ This sentiment was clearly visible on the Brit's face. He shuffled to the left like a man walking to get hanged.

"Japan." Always courteous, the Asian country bowed to his new teammates. "I look forward to working with you."

"Taiwan." The pretty island nation instinctively went to stand beside Japan.

"France." The Frenchman gave a flourish and sashayed in next to England, who took a few steps away from him.

"Spain." The overly-happy tomato-lover skipped to his spot.

"Romano." An exaggerated groan came from South Italy's general direction. "Fuck. I gotta be with the fucking tomato bastard."

"Greece." The sleepy nation suddenly looked more lively as he joined Japan.

"Turkey." His feelings were mixed. On the one hand, he was glad to be with Japan, but on the other, he was on the same team with his archenemy.

"Seychelles." A frown appeared on her face when she spotted France on the same side.

"Ukraine." As she crossed over to the left, she looked back at her little brother sadly.

"The rest of you will be on the other team!" Cuba announced. "Left team, you're now known as the Screaming Gophers."

"What the hell, Matthew?" Arthur complained. "Couldn't you think of a cooler team name?"

Canada quaked in his shoes. "I-I'm sorry," he apologized. "I-I just wanted to make the team names the same as the ones in Total Drama Island."

Cuba growled, "We based these names and this competition off of a Canadian TV show. If you don't like them, you can leave right now." He shot the Brit a death glare for being mean to his friend.

"Fine," Britain pouted, crossing his arms.

"Team on the right, you're the Killer Bass."

"I kind of like this name," Russia said. "It has the word 'killer' in it."

China shuddered. "I-I see-aru~" he replied.

"Okay then, the teams are settled," Cuba observed. "Let's start the first challenge!"


	4. Chapter 4

All the participating countries were decked out in their swimsuits, awaiting instructions from Canada or Cuba.

England shivered as he stared straight down at a thousand-foot drop. "Why me?" he questioned himself.

"Canada, I don't think this is safe," Taiwan addressed the air in front of her. She was several meters off.

"I'm over here," Matthew "shouted". "And this is how the first challenge in Total Drama Island was like, so I'm sorry, but you have to deal with it." Cuba repeated this to Taiwan. She frowned disapprovingly.

Cuba screamed for everyone to get quiet, then began his instructions. "Your first challenge is to jump off this thousand-foot-high cliff into the water below."

"No problem," smirked Prussia.

"It gets even worse," Cuba added. "If you look over the cliff, you'll see two rings of buoys. The wider ring represents the shark-infested area."

"We're all gonna fucking die!" Romano yelled. He subconsciously clung to Spain.

"It's gonna be okay, mi amigo," Antonio assured the Italian, giving him a hug. "You have me around to protect you!"

"Cut the bromance," Cuba snapped. "Alright, listen up. The inner ring is a safe zone. The sharks won't be able to get to you there. If you manage to jump and survive, then you're going to earn a crate of supplies for your team for the second part of this challenge: building a hot tub. The team with the best hot tub gets a hot tub party. The losing team sends someone packing."

"Which team is first?" Hungary inquired nervously.

"In this challenge, the Killer Bass went first," Canada informed them.

"I will go first," Russia said casually, stepping forward. No one objected.

"Be careful," Ukraine told him. The other Screaming Gophers shot her a glare for cheering on a member of the other team.

Ivan skipped happily off the edge of the cliff. "VODKAAAAAA!" came the familiar shout. When the others looked down, they saw that he had landed in the safe zone with ease and was currently enjoying a bottle of vodka.

"If big brother can do it, I can too! Just wait for me, big brother! I'm coming for youuuuu…" Belarus called as she dove head-first into the water. She landed smack-dab on top of Russia and he cried so loud that it echoed through the whole forest. An intern arrived next to the ring on a speedboat to pick them up.

"I guess there's no choice but to do it-aru~" China resigned. He hit the inner ring with little effort.

"I'm not afraid!" Germany roared. "I've faced tougher opponents than sharks during my training!" He jumped off the cliff eagerly and landed in the safe zone with a splash.

"Come on, Italy!" Ludwig hollered up to his cowardly friend. "It's easy! Just close your eyes and imagine that you're flying!"

Feliciano shook his head. "I'm too scared," he cried. "The sharks will eat me alive if I miss and I know I'm going to miss!"

"You're not sure you're going to miss!" Germany insisted, restraining the frustration that was rising to the surface.

"No! I'm not going to jump no matter what!" Italy was stubborn when he was running away from doing something.

"If you don't want to jump…" Canada said. A rubber chicken hat "magically appeared" on Italy's head.

"Sorry, Italy, but you're gonna have to wear that hat for the rest of the day." Cuba gestured to an escalator leading down to shore. "Chickens' way is that way." Feliciano looked unhappily at his muscular friend as he rode the escalator down. Ludwig frowned, but he couldn't be truly angry at Italy; he'd figured Feliciano would chicken out.

Prussia gave a whoop as he dive-bombed the water. Next came Hungary, muttering about how lame he'd looked, then Hong Kong, falling as stoically through the air as ever, then South Korea coming to grope China, then Sealand showing everyone how brave he was. They all landed safely in the inner ring.

Every Killer Bass member was on the speedboat now, except for Italy and…Austria.

"Do it, Mr. Austria!" Elizabeta encouraged. "If Prussia gets to show off, you have to prove to him that he's bragging about nothing!" Gilbert scowled when he heard this.

"I'm sorry, Eliza," the aristocrat apologized, a flustered expression on his noble face. "I just wasn't cut out for this. I was cut out for making music, not diving off of cliffs into shark-infested waters!"

"Chicken," Cuba scoffed, placing a chicken hat on Austria's head. Austria flinched as if he'd been struck, but he didn't change his mind. He started the journey down to shore on the escalator.

"That's nine jumpers and two chickens for the Killer Bass," Canada noted, recording it on the clipboard he was holding. "Let's see if the Screaming Gophers can do better."

"Gophers are up next," Cuba announced. "Show us what you've got!"

"I'll go first, 'cause the hero is always number one!" America's swimming trunks had a gigantic American flag printed on the backside to show his (over)pride in his nation. "Cowabungaaaa!" The flag, along with Alfred, disappeared over the edge of the cliff.

"I'm not going to let him outdo me," Arthur decided, loads of mustered courage in his voice. He was gone in a heartbeat.

"If Angleterre is down there, I must be, too." France blew a kiss back at the rest of his team as he pirouetted gracefully off the bluff.

Antonio followed closely on the Frenchman's heels, dragging a certain protesting South Italian along with him.

Turkey shoved a sleeping Greece over the edge. The unsuspecting nation didn't even wake up in mid-air. In fact, he did not rouse from his slumber when he hit the water and got completely soaked. It was only when Turkey double-fist-punched him in the gut with all the momentum of his fall that he woke up, startled at the sudden pain. Then his green eyes narrowed and his teeth gritted together with a loud snap. He socked his tormentor in the face so hard that his ever-present mask flew off. Turkey was stunned for a second, then he reached out to strangle Greece. Japan conveniently landed between the two of them to break up what would've turned into a brutal slug-fest.

Seychelles had spent her whole life doing dangerous water stunts like this, so the challenge was a piece of cake for her. As the other countries looked on, she backed away from the cliff edge and took a deep breath. Her wide brown eyes were closed as she quickly dashed forward a few steps and soared off, arms and legs extended. She executed many beautiful front-flips and back-flips in mid-air. End over end she turned, then she entered the water head-first. She resurfaced, eyes still serenely closed. Everyone was silent for a few seconds, then they clapped their hearts out- yes, even America and Prussia. But then they noticed something- Seychelles hadn't landed in the safe zone! She was in the outer ring. Two fins were rapidly speeding toward her. France impulsively dove off the boat to save the pretty country, but there was no need. Seychelles only needed to turn around and show her face to the sharks, and they circled around her, nuzzling her affectionately. She laughed pleasantly as she stroked the sharks' backs.

"Oh, my." Francis was breathless. Seychelles had grown into such a beauty during the years they'd been apart. On top of that, she could tame vicious sea creatures. He had felt love many times before, but this- this was something different. In that moment, he absolutely knew he had to win her heart.

Taiwan refused to jump, on account of "she was fragile".

Ukraine was the last one left. When she hit the water, it was like a bomb exploded- everyone was washed onto shore by the impact. Sharks were flung out every which way, landing in trees and on the shore. The speedboat's hull was stuck in the sand. Both teams growled at Ukraine. Scared, she hid behind Russia.

"The Gophers have ten jumpers and one chicken," Matthew said, checking his clipboard. "That means they win and get wheelbarrows to carry their supplies as an added bonus!"

Cuba rolled the wheelbarrows over to the victorious Gophers. They cheered and loaded their crates onto the wheelbarrows, then made their way west through the forest to the camp grounds, a clearing with two quaint little cabins in the middle of it.

The Killer Bass had no choice but to begin the arduous task of pushing the crates to camp. Of course, Russia could push one crate with each forefinger, so he pushed two simultaneously without breaking a sweat. Belarus was shoving her crate so close behind him that it could've caught the edge of his long coat. Germany was tough; he was carrying one crate stacked on top of another. China was exerting all his strength to move one crate, but he was finding it difficult to proceed because of South Korea's constant groping. Hong Kong did not color, perspire, or complain while pushing his box. Hungary and Prussia were each pushing one box, competing with each other to see who could push theirs faster. Sealand pouted as he trod along because there were no more boxes for him to push.

And Italy? "I need to go pee," he told Germany.

"Just go in the bushes over to the side and do your business. But hurry it up, we're already behind."

"But what if there are bears?" Feliciano cried. "I need you to come with me Germany…" He made a big show of falling to his knees and grabbing onto his friend's legs.

"Fine," Germany agreed reluctantly. He put down his boxes. "Let's go quickly." They disappeared into the woods.

"Austria, can you take over for Germany while he's gone?" asked Hong Kong, breaking his silence for once.

"I…can't." Austria shrugged hopelessly. "This physical exertion isn't good for me."

"South Korea, go push one of Germany's crates-aru~" China commanded between exhausted breaths.

Surprisingly, the younger Asian nation complied. "crates were made in South Korea, da-ze," he sang as he got to work.

"Who will handle the other box?" Wang Yao worried.

Ivan reassured him, "There is nothing to worry about. I can push three without a problem."

China grinned. It was good to have such a strong member as Russia on the team.

An insect flew over right at that moment and bit Roderich in the eye. Within a few moments, his eyelid had puffed up to twice its size and turned a nasty pink color. The others grimaced when they caught sight of it.

After this, they continued without incident, Austria dejectedly walking along behind them, until Germany and Italy returned. Italy was scratching furiously at his behind.

"Bad news," Ludwig reported. "Italy got dozens of bee stings on his backside while he was doing his business."

"Good for him," Prussia sneered. "No one cares."

Germany stood up for his friend. "You might be my older brother, but you can be an idiot sometimes. Can't you see he's in serious pain?"

"I'm just saying that we should keep going to the camp no matter what happens. We can't afford to lose any more time!" Gilbert clarified.

Hungary punched him in the arm and said, "Prussia, you're being a jerk. If a teammate is hurt, we should care about them first, not the challenge."

"You can stop to help him if you want," Prussia huffed. "But I'm not missing out on $100,000 just because I stopped to help him."

Germany heaved a mighty sigh. "Italy, the faster we get to camp grounds and finish this challenge, the faster we'll be able to get you treated. So for now…just climb on my back and hang on!" It broke his heart to say this, but it couldn't be helped. He took back his crates from South Korea and Russia and trudged on with poor Feliciano in tow.

Meanwhile, at the camp grounds, the Gophers had opened their crates with their teeth (part of the rules) and were digging through their supplies.

"I've got some wood," America said, holding it aloft.

"I have some hammers and a pool liner," England said, producing them from his crate.

Turkey approached Greece. "Listen…I didn't mean to shove you off the cliff like that. You might not believe me, but I'm really sorry for what I did."

Greece replied, "Actually, I kind of needed that push from someone. Otherwise, how could I have jumped?"

"Since we're on the same team, why don't we have a truce?" Turkey suggested. He extended a hand.

Greece considered it for a minute, then shook the gloved hand. "Truce," he agreed with a soft smile.

Japan had been watching these proceedings with a skeptical eye. When Turkey and Greece had separated, he joined Turkey as he was walking away. "Did you really mean what you said just now?" he questioned Turkey.

The masked nation snorted. "Of course not," he laughed. "It is always good to keep your friends close and your enemies closer in these types of competitions. That way, he won't suspect a thing when I vote him off." He rubbed his hands together at his own genius.

Kiku was horrified. He didn't know what to do. He knew that this knowledge he'd just learned could really hurt Greece if he kept it secret, but on the other hand, he didn't want to betray Turkey. He stood there indecisively as the Killer Bass arrived in camp.

There was a shallow puddle of water on camp grounds- perfect for bringing relief to Italy's itch. He ran over to it, took off his pants just enough to expose his behind, and soaked it in the water.

"We need a project manager," Austria said. "I think I'm the most suited to this task."

"What, so are you just gonna boss us all around, cyclops?" Prussia poked fun at Roderich's swollen eye.

Austria jabbed a finger at Gilbert. "Open the crates, now," he commanded. "Germany, go tell Italy to quit being so useless and come help us."

Ludwig frowned. "But he just started soaking," he protested.

"I don't care," Roderich snapped. "We need all the help we can get."

"Look!" exclaimed China. He pointed across the clearing at the Gophers' hot tub. It was coming along very nicely and was almost ready to be filled up.

Austria gasped. "Hurry up, guys!" he cried.

Hong Kong and Russia were working on the Bass' hot tub, but were having no luck. It just kept collapsing.

The final nails were being hammered into the Gophers' hot tub.

Prussia and Hungary were both trying to get the same hammer. They struggled back and forth, back and forth, until the hammer went flying out of their hands into Italy's crotch. The defenseless nation doubled over, only to get whacked upside the head by a wooden board that South Korea was carrying. He burst into tears.

The Gophers were finishing filling up their tub. They dumped the last bucket of water into it.

The Bass' tub was a monstrosity that leaked on the ground and was barely held up by heavy-duty masking tape.

Canada came around to examine their creations. He inspected the Gophers' first. He was impressed beyond belief and commented, "This hot tub is perfect!" They could see his beaming smile, even if they couldn't see him. Next, he crossed over to the Bass' hot tub. Gilbird was floundering in the middle of it, trying to stay afloat. Matthew poked the tub and got a face full of water. Then the whole thing fell apart. Gilbird flew back to Prussia with some indignant chirps- they had used him for decoration.

"We have an obvious winner," Canada declared. "The Screaming Gophers win this challenge!"

When Cuba announced this, the Gophers raised a collective cheer. They were safe from elimination, and they got to use the hot tub for the rest of the competition!

"Killer Bass, you have to vote someone off tonight at the campfire ceremony," Canada reminded the losing team.

Over dinner, the Bass discussed who they were going to vote off.

"I think Sealand should go," said Russia. "He's small and weak and no use to us at all."

"What? B-but…" stammered Sealand. "I wanted to help, but you guys didn't even give me a chance!"

"He's right," agreed Hungary. "I'm sure he would've helped if you'd given him a crate."

"I think Mr. Aristocrat here should go," Prussia said. "He's one of the chickens in the bunch. Besides, he didn't even help with the crates."

"But you can't vote me off!" protested Austria. "I'm probably the smartest one here! I say _Prussia _should go."

"I agree," said Hungary. "For being so mean to Italy."

"I go with whatever my brother goes with," Belarus informed them.

"I say Austria, then," said Russia.

"Then I say Austria, too," said China. "I have to agree, he didn't help at all."

"I say Austria, da-ze!" declared South Korea.

"Hong Kong?" China turned to him. "What do you say?"

In a voice barely audible enough to be heard, Hong Kong said, "Austria."

Germany said, "Prussia, I think you should go."

"Oi, West, you're gonna betray me like that?" Gilbert's red eyes gleamed dangerously.

"Italy, vote for Prussia with me, okay?" Ludwig asked. Italy gave a tiny nod of his head.

That night, after the Bass had cast their votes at the elimination ceremony, Cuba announced, "All the votes have been tallied up. These players are safe:

"Germany." He accepted his marshmallow stoically.

"Italy." He nibbled contentedly on his marshmallow.

"Sealand." He stuffed the marshmallow in his mouth.

"Russia." He swallowed his marshmallow whole.

"China." He sat thinking how cute his marshmallow looked.

"South Korea." He started groping his marshmallow.

"Hong Kong." He made no move to eat his marshmallow.

"Belarus." She stabbed a knife through hers.

"Hungary." She chucked it at Prussia.

"And the final marshmallow of the night goes to…"

Austria and Prussia stared each other down in those few seconds before the last name was called.

"Prussia."

"YES!" he roared triumphantly. "In your face!" He pranced childishly about right in front of Austria's face, pointing a triumphant finger at him and laughing his annoying "Kesesese" laugh.

Roderich sighed and stood calmly, ignoring Gilbert's nasty jeering. He strode down the dock as the loser boat arrived to pick him up and take him away from the island forever. "I hate you all," he growled as he left.

Hungary looked after him wistfully as he receded into the distance, then turned back to Prussia and made a fist. "You're gonna pay for this, Gil," she threatened. "Just you wait."


	5. Chapter 5

**HOLY CRAPOLA! Thank you guys so much! I just updated late last night and when I checked my e-mail today, I found so many Favorite Story and Story Alert messages! I'm so glad you like this story because it takes almost four hours to write each chapter. But now I know it really pays off. You guys have inspired me to keep writing. Look forward to more frequent updates in the summer! Russia...out!**

* * *

Canada was up very early in the morning. It was only 7:00, and Cuba was still snoring in the bunk above him. They got their own cozy, spacious cabin to themselves because they were the host and the chef (or, more accurately, the host's assistant).

Matthew tugged on his favorite tan jacket, tucked the sleeping Kumajirou into his backpack, and headed out the door, careful not to wake Cuba. He felt guilty about doing this, but he walked to the campsite, where all the contestants were still passed out, and blew an air horn.

Every country sprang out of their bed like they'd been tazed (except for Greece, who Turkey had to rouse by socking him in the stomach).

"What's the big idea?" France complained, rubbing his tired eyes. "I'll get wrinkles if I don't get my beauty sleep."

They all got dressed, then reported for duty in the center of the campsite. Everyone, save Russia and Turkey, looked fatigued beyond belief.

China spotted an adorable miniature plush of Russia protruding from Belarus's dress pocket. He couldn't resist the cuteness, so he reached out to squeeze the plush, but immediately jerked his hand back when Belarus eyed him with a death glare and snapped at his hand.

"Kumatatsu, would you mind telling them what I say to you?" The little polar bear stirred from his slumber and gave a little nod.

"Sorry for waking you up so early, but it's all part of the challenge," Kumajirou explained.

"Well, hello there, Canada." Turkey grinned. "That's completely okay with us, don't worry."

_He's definitely up to something, _thought Japan.

"Thank you for understanding," Kumajirou relayed. "Your next challenge will start in one minute. It's a twenty-kilometer run around the lake, so I suggest you warm up right now."

"Are you serious?" England groaned. "We haven't even eaten breakfast yet. How are we supposed to run on empty stomachs?"

That was when Cuba arrived. "You keep complaining like that and you'll have to run with more handicaps," he growled, cracking his knuckles.

"Fine, sheesh," said Arthur, backing away from the angry Cuban.

Belarus snarled bestially. "I want to chase my brother, and you dragged me out here too early so I don't have enough energy to catch him!" She lunged forward, clawing at thin air.

Her teammates pinned her arms to her sides with much difficulty. "Belarus, Belarus! Calm yourself!" China cried.

"I have to rip him apart!" Natalya roared. "I have to kill him for trying to separate me from big brother!"

Ivan was curled in a ball on the ground.

_She needs to handle her temper much more carefully, _Wang Yao thought. _Otherwise, it just might destroy her._

They lined up for the marathon.

"On your mark…get set…go!" announced Cuba.

They started sprinting as fast as they could (which wasn't that fast because they lacked sleep and food).

Most of them, anyway.

Italy, Romano, Ukraine, and Taiwan were plodding along at a snail's pace.

"I don't run," Mei informed them. "My feet will get sore and my dress will get torn."

She kept walking until she stumbled across Ukraine lapping water face-down from a big puddle on the ground.

"I'm…so…tired…" Yekaterina panted, her tongue dangling in the water.

"That's because you're so unfit," Taiwan said matter-of-factly.

Seychelles called back, "What's your excuse, _Your Highness? _You seem perfectly fit to me." She did not like Taiwan's stuck-up attitude.

Taiwan glared right back at the other island nation.

"Pick up the pace," yelled Cuba through a megaphone, speeding past the campers on an automated scooter. Canada was riding it too, but they just saw one person. "If you're not back by dinnertime, you don't eat!"

Mei scowled. "I'm starting to hate Canada and Cuba and their rules." She used Ukraine's back as a bridge to step over the water puddle and continued walking, her eyes fixed on Seychelles.

The faster ones (like America, Prussia, Russia and Germany) had already reached the mess hall. Half the contestants had made it in when Spain burst in, holding an unconscious Romano. He hurriedly laid him down on one of the mess hall tables and started pressing down on the Italian's chest with both hands.

Ukraine arrived a second later, panting and rubbing her back. She sank to her knees.

Then Italy arrived, gasping for air. "Help, I think I'm suffering from pasta deprivation," he croaked, clutching his stomach.

"You're so slow!" Prussia screamed at the hungry Feliciano. "Now you made us lose the challenge!"

"That means we win," said Turkey smugly. The Gophers (including the recently-awakened Romano) cheered.

"Not so fast." Cuba interrupted their celebration. "This wasn't even the real challenge."

"What?" Arthur was flabbergasted.

"You guys hungry?" Cuba drew aside a curtain at the back end of the mess hall, revealing a buffet table completely covered with multiple dishes of every country's favorite meal.

As soon as his eyes witnessed this, Italy forgot his fatigue and launched himself at one particular item on the table.

"PASTAAAAAAA!"

Germany grinned. He liked it when his best friend was happy. He could do with some wurst and beer himself.

Canada looked on proudly. He had ordered all this food in bulk from an international buffet. He was glad everyone was enjoying it.

Within minutes, everyone had eaten their fill and were holding their stomachs.

"Ready for the challenge?" asked Cuba.

"Wasn't eating the challenge?" America inquired hopefully.

"No, of course not, dumbass," Cuba scowled. "The next part of the challenge is an awake-a-thon!"

"Awake-a-thon?" repeated England.

"You heard me," said Cuba, tapping his foot. "The team with the last nation standing wins invincibility from elimination."

"So you purposely got us to run twenty kilometers and eat this huge feast just to get us to fall asleep easier?" the gentleman surmised.

"Of course," replied Cuba. Canada had not done it for this purpose, so a horrified expression appeared on his face.

"Wow. Canada's a lot more devious than I thought," said Arthur, surprised.

"Everyone outside," Cuba commanded. They filed out one by one, dragging themselves out the entrance to the mess hall.

Japan walked up to Taiwan. "How long do you think it will take for everyone to fall asleep?"

"A little more or less than half an hour," Taiwan answered.

America passed them, clutching his torso.

"Most likely less."

At the twelve-hour mark, all twenty-one campers were still awake, much to the horror of Cuba and the delight of Canada.

"Staying awake for twelve hours? I can do that in my sleep!" boasted America. He had stuffed himself the most during the feast. Five seconds after saying that, he collapsed and hit the sack. Now there were nine campers left awake on the Gophers' side.

"This is the most boring thing I've ever done in my life," yawned Taiwan.

Japan came over. "Do not worry, I will talk to you to keep you awake."

Mei blushed. "Thank you, Kiku."

Turkey was plotting. _I will take two other countries with me to the final three, and then I will win! But who can I get who will do whatever I say?_

Spain was still awake. He was standing on his head to keep himself from dozing off. His turtles were lined up behind him, mimicking him.

"What are you doing?" asked Ukraine.

"I'm trying to get the blood to rush to my head to keep myself from falling asleep," Antonio replied.

"Oh, I want to try!" exclaimed Yekaterina. "I think that's a great idea!" She tried to copy the Spaniard, but fell flat on her face.

_Perfect, _thought Turkey with an evil grin. _These two idiots will do. _"Spain, Ukraine!" he called. "Can I talk with you?"

The two unsuspecting nations were soon standing in front of him.

"Okay," Turkey began. "I have a plan to get me and two other countries into the final three, and I chose you guys."

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" Ukraine broke into hysterical tears. She snuffled and wiped her nose on Turkey's sleeve. He pulled away, trying not to grimace.

"This is very important," he continued. "I'm trusting you two, so I hope you will put your trust in me, too."

"Si, senor," said Spain. "Claro que si. Of course."

"So you'll do everything I say, then?"

Vigorous nodding from the both of them.

_Turkey's so nice, _was the thought running through Spain and Ukraine's heads as they parted from their new leader. _He's taking me into the final three! Yay!_

Ukraine told Spain, "Don't you think we should let Russia into the alliance, too?" She looked over earnestly at her little brother.

"No!" snapped Turkey, jumping in front of her and obstructing her view of her sibling. "Absolutely not!"

"But…why not?" Yekaterina was confused.

"He's on the other team!" roared Turkey. "We can't allow someone from the other team into our alliance!" He refrained from adding the word "dumbass" to his sentence. "Remember what I said about trust?" He calmed himself down and sighed. "Of course, you can always leave the alliance to go hang with him, but if you do, I can't guarantee that you won't be kicked off."

"No," Ukraine stammered hurriedly. "I want to be part of this alliance."

"Good," said Turkey. "It's settled, then." He strode away, Spain prancing after him.

Russia gave a little wave to his sister. She smiled back. _I'll still love him,_ she resolved. _Even if I can't invite him into the alliance._

Natalya was cuddling her Russia plushie. Then she got up and said, "I'm going to the bathroom." She tucked the plush into her dress pocket and headed off to do her business. As she was leaving, the plush dropped out of her pocket because she hadn't stuffed it in tightly enough, but she didn't notice. Turkey checked to make sure no one was looking, then stood and feigned a stretch, making sure to cover up the fact that he had picked the plush up off the ground. He took his seat next to Ukraine.

"That's my little sister Natalya's Russia doll." Yekaterina's light blue eyes widened when she spotted what Turkey was holding.

"Indeed it is." Turkey smirked.

"Knowing Natalya, she's going to be really mad when she finds it gone." Ukraine was worried. She knew all too well what Belarus would be like when she returned.

"That's exactly what I'm counting on," Turkey replied. His white smile was as wide as his equally white mask.

Night had fallen. They were approximately twenty-four hours into the challenge now. The Gophers still had nine members left (Greece could actually stay awake if he really wanted to). The Bass were not so fortunate; they only had seven. Of course, Italy was one of the ones who had dozed off, along with Sealand and South Korea. Germany was marching in place to keep conscious.

Prussia was just about to be claimed by sleep, but somehow a hallucination of Hungary getting swatted by a grizzly bear brought him back in control.

"Congratulations, campers," Cuba announced for Canada. "You've made it to the twenty-four hour mark. Now for the hard part." He sulked and looked at his friend. "Do I have to do this?" He was wearing a fluffy pink sheep costume, complete with a golden harp to lull them to sleep.

"Oh, man, you look ridiculous," chuckled England. "Not so tough now, eh, big guy?"

"Shut your trap," Cuba growled between clenched teeth. "I'll get you back for laughing at me later. For now…"

"Fairy tales," said Kumajirou as Matthew unveiled an immense pile of thin volumes.

"You've got to be kidding," said England.

Kumajirou cleared his throat and opened one of the books. Cuba strummed a few soothing notes on his harp.

"Once upon a time…" read the little polar bear slowly, as instructed by Canada. "There was, inside this boring kingdom…" Cuba plucked his strings for emphasis. "A boring village." Spain yawned deeply. "And inside this boring, sleepy village…" The words were becoming harder and harder for China to listen to. His eyelids were drooping. "Lived very boring children, who did boring things."

Romano was having an equally hard time keeping awake, especially since he had a comfortable white pillow to sleep on. As his brown eyes shut, he dreamed about pink, woolly sheep jumping over a golden harp one-by-one. The third sheep, though, did not say "Baa" like the other two did. On closer inspection, Lovino found that the third sheep was Cuba. And it made a most unpleasant bouncing sound.

Romano woke with a start to find that he was sleeping on top of Ukraine's humongous breasts. He gasped and backed away, screaming.

The campers started hallucinating about Cuba in a pink tutu, dancing to the Nutcracker ballet and sprinkling magical dust on them to make them fall asleep. This caused Hungary to hit the ground, out cold.

Ludwig didn't let this stop him, though. He was still jogging in place with all the strength left in his muscles. _If I keep moving, I will outlast all of them. Just need to focus._

The Bass were sadly down to only four members now. The Gophers still had six.

"We should talk about our strategy," suggested Turkey, elbowing Ukraine.

"Huh?" she mumbled. She toppled over backwards off her seat. Five.

"Spain?" called Turkey. Antonio was toppled over, too. Four.

Japan and Taiwan were having a friendly conversation to keep themselves entertained.

"Favorite song?" Mei asked.

"Umm…'Heroes Come Back', the first Naruto Shippuden opening." Kiku's eyes twinkled with delight when he thought about anime. "Favorite color?" he inquired.

"Pink, of course," laughed Taiwan.

"I like pink, too," agreed Japan. "It is the color of the sakura, the cherry blossoms."

Taiwan opened her jaws in a wide yawn. Kiku lightly tapped a hand on her shoulder and said, "Do not fall asleep, Mei. Here: favorite movie moment?"

"Oh, you'll just think I'm weird."

"I promise I won't," swore Japan.

"Okay," Taiwan continued uncertainly. "I liked the end of the fifth Naruto movie, when Naruto and his dad teamed up to defeat that monster."

"Hai, that part was really cool!" Kiku was ecstatic, which was quite unusual for him. "I think that movie was really good, too. I appreciate you watching my anime."

They were about to go on with their conversation when they spotted Ukraine sleepwalking into the bushes. Their eyes widened.

Later on, they were stretched out under the stars, gazing up into the magnificent night sky.

"Are you still awake, Mei?"

"Yes, but I just had the weirdest revelation. I think I'm so tired, I'm not tired anymore. Does that make any sort of sense to you?"

"I'm not sure. Can you point out the Little Dipper for me? I seem to have forgotten where it is."

"Oh! Sure thing," Taiwan replied. She pointed upwards. "See the Big Dipper? Follow its handle to that right star, the Pole star. And you'll find it just to the right of that." She indicated the constellation with her fingertip.

"Ah, now I see it. Arigato. Thank you." Japan sighed contentedly.

In the meantime, Ukraine had unknowingly sleepwalked all the way to the top of the cliff they'd jumped off of on their first challenge. She toppled over the edge, splashing in the water below and causing the water to explode out again.

"Look at him," Mei exclaimed, staring at France. "He's like a statue; he hasn't moved in over fifty hours!"

Both she and Japan made some noise to try and get France to stir. He did not move from his frozen position.

"Such concentration," Japan remarked. "He is like Naruto when he is meditating for Sage Mode."

Taiwan took a step forward and poked Francis's cheek. He shook his head…and his eyes opened. His _real _eyes. He had used makeup to paint an extra set of eyes on his closed eyelids so he could sleep and no one would know they were being fooled.

"His eyelids are painted!" Belarus accused, pointing her finger at France. "I saw it!"

Canada strode over to see if what Natalya had said was true. When France blinked, Matthew saw the truth.

"That's pretty cool, man," Cuba confessed. "But you're still out." France pouted and slumped dejectedly.

Ukraine was taking a moonlight trip upstream with the salmon, unconsciously mirroring their dives.

A few days and nights passed.

One morning, Prussia, who was still awake, decided to play a prank on Italy (who was, of course, still asleep). He dipped Feliciano's hand into a cup of water, and a wet stain appeared on Italy's pants.

"Aw, that's nasty! It actually works on him!" Prussia hooted and laughed annoyingly loud. "He peed his pants!"

Feli woke up and looked down. He gasped when he saw the pee stain and covered it up quickly in embarassment.

Mei hadn't gotten a wink of sleep yet. "I need a coffee very badly right now," she groaned.

Cuba arrived, sipping a coffee. "Hurry up and fall asleep already," he urged.

"Please," begged Taiwan on her knees. "Just one sip?" She reached for Cuba's coffee.

"The remaining five campers will stay with me," said Cuba. "The rest of you, please go take a shower. You stink." He held his nose for emphasis.

Italy took off like a shot, still covering the stain on his pants.

"I didn't want it to come to this," Kumajirou said for Canada. "But you guys are tough, so I've come up with the most boring, sleep-inducing activity I can find."

"I don't care anymore," Taiwan growled. "Throw whatever you want at me, I will not fall asleep." Her tenacious side had surfaced.

"The history of Canada," said Kumajirou, hefting a large red volume. "Pop-up edition!" He opened the book, and a lifelike beaver popped out.

"I wrote it," Canada said. A melancholy expression sprang onto his face. "Too bad nobody's ever wanted to read it."

"Chapter one: the beaver. National symbol, and a 'dam' fine hat."

Everyone groaned.

Ukraine had actually wound up among the beavers in the woods. They were using her as wood for their dam.

"…Which, of course, was a precursor of the discussions leading to the War of 1812..." Belarus had finally collapsed, leaving only Prussia on the Bass. Even Turkey had fallen over, too. That left Taiwan and Japan for the Gophers.

Kiku's eyelids were drooping. He was barely perched on the edge of his seat.

"Kiku, no!" Taiwan panicked as he fell forward onto the ground. "Don't leave me!"

"Bathroom break," announced Cuba. "Any takers?"

"Kesesese," snorted Prussia. "The awesome me has held it this long, I don't need to go!"

"Can you hold it for another ten chapters?" Mei tilted her head at him quizzically.

"Eh…kesese…" Gilbert got up and headed towards the outhouse.

Taiwan sighed and started nodding off to sleep.

Cuba was beginning to suspect that Prussia had dozed off in the bathroom. His suspicion was confirmed when he sent an intern in and the intern found Gilbert snoring on the toilet.

The intern came back and reported this to Cuba.

Matthew smiled and lifted Mei's hand in triumph right after she hit the ground.

"The official winner of the awake-a-thon is…Taiwan! The Screaming Gophers win!" Kumajirou informed everyone.

A horrible roar came from inside the girls' cabin. Belarus was tearing the place apart, flinging everything out the door, to find her Russia plushie. "Where…is…my…plush?" With every word, she hurled something else. "One of you must have stolen it!" she accused. "I need my Russia plush! No one is going anywhere until I get my plush back!" She threw a book, and it nearly nailed Italy in the head.

"Whoever took it, give it up now, before she destroys the whole camp!" yelled Germany.

Turkey walked over. "Hey guys," he greeted them. "Wow, this place is a real mess!"

"Someone stole Belarus's Russia plush," Ludwig informed him.

"Oh, you mean this?" asked Turkey, drawing it out from his cloak. "I was wondering who it belonged to." Natalya poked her head out of the doorway. "I found it on the ground. You must have dropped it." Natalya ran over to claim her precious doll.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Belarus cried, hugging her plush.

"Sure thing," replied Turkey. _It's way too simple to turn a team against its own members._

"So…sorry about that misunderstanding," Belarus apologized, flustered for once. "I guess no one stole it, after all." Everyone glared at her crossly. "Okay…maybe I overreacted a little." She laughed nervously.

That night, at the campfire ceremony, Cuba brought the tray of marshmallows.

"The votes have been cast," he said. "There are only nine marshmallows on this plate." He set the tray down on a stump. "When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper who doesn't receive a marshmallow must go to the Dock of Shame, and catch the Boat of Losers, never to return."

"The first marshmallow goes to Prussia."

"Kesesese!" He fed the marshmallow to Gilbird.

"Russia."

He smiled, eyes closed, as he grabbed a marshmallow.

"Germany."

He gave a single nod.

"Hungary."

She stuck her tongue out at Prussia.

"China."

He let out a small, contented sigh.

"Hong Kong."

Not a peep.

"South Korea."

He skipped happily up.

"And the final marshmallow goes to…"

_Please, Italy, don't go,_ hoped Germany.

"Italy."

"No. No. This can't be happening!" shouted Belarus. "You can't separate me from my brother! We haven't even gotten married yet!" Cuba dragged her down the dock with much difficulty. He threw her into the boat, still clawing and cursing. She hurled a knife back at the others, and it missed China's head by inches.

The boat sped away, bearing Natalya with it. Her screams still echoed when she had disappeared into the horizon.

As for Russia, he could not be happier at the moment.


	6. Chapter 6

Almost everyone was seated at their team's respective mess hall tables. They were still fatigued from their last challenge. Prussia was snoring with his head on the table.

"Y-you look tired," Canada stammered.

"You look like shit," Cuba laughed.

"Put a sock in it," Prussia replied, then fell asleep again. He was too tired to think of a good comeback; in fact, he was so tired, he didn't want to say he was awesome. And if you knew Prussia, that meant that he was really and truly worn out.

"South Korea snored all night," Hungary complained, the fatigue visible on her face.

"Four nights with no sleep? How much are you hurting, man?" Cuba teased Gilbert.

"Wanna find out?" Gilbert threatened, turning to face him.

"Stop provoking him," Matthew told Cuba. The big Cuban scowled, but agreed.

Then the mess hall door opened and in came Italy. As he went to get his breakfast, all the other nations (except for Germany) giggled and pointed at him. When he took his seat at the Bass' table, his teammates burst into uncontrolled laughter.

"What is it, guys? You're scaring me!" Italy glanced around nervously.

"Someone drew a mustache on your face," Germany informed him. Handing him a spoon, he said, "Take a look."

Feli stared at his reflection in the spoon, and the waterworks began.

"It's Taiwan!" Cuba announced as Mei crossed the threshold. She was obviously still suffering from sleep deprivation. She strode in slumped and plonked herself down at the Gophers' table. The other Gophers cheered and clapped for the winner of the last challenge.

"I'm so tired," Taiwan groaned. "I can't feel my face." Her head drooped and hit the table with a thud.

_Oh, no. _It suddenly hit Hungary that her team was losing. _We're two men short. Belarus was crazy, but at least she could've helped us. I hope we don't come to regret voting her off._

Turkey addressed his newfound followers. "Let's go over the rules again. Number one: I'm the captain of this alliance, so _I_ get to make the rules." Spain and Ukraine nodded in agreement. "Number two…" He paused so one of them could guess.

Ukraine thought for a moment, then answered. "Breaking the rules can result in getting kicked out of the alliance?"

"Good," said Turkey. "Alright, I can borrow any of your stuff without asking, but my stuff is strictly off-limits."

Antonio and Yekaterina looked at each other in confusion.

"Um, I don't know about that last one," Yekaterina objected.

"That's cool," Turkey said. "I can change it." He stopped for a short while. "I can also find someone else to take to the final three with me." An evil grin appeared on his features.

The other two shook their heads quickly.

"Good," Turkey smirked. "Then you want to have some fun?" They nodded, smiling.

"Hey, fish-heads!" he taunted the Bass. "Way to kick out your strongest player! You should just give up now." He dodged away as a scoop of oatmeal came flying at him. It splattered on Taiwan's face.

Hungary was holding a spoon loaded with porridge in her hand. She scowled and crossed her arms.

"Your next challenge begins in ten minutes," Cuba announced. "And be prepared to bring it," he added.

Ten minutes later, they were all on a dodge ball field inside glass walls. One last camper, Prussia, dragged himself in and fell flat onto a bench on the court.

"Wake up the awesome me, and it'll be the last thing you do," he threatened the other contestants. Then he dropped asleep.

China gulped. He knew from the tone of Gilbert's voice that he was serious.

Hungary rolled her eyes and took her anger out on South Korea. "This is all your fault, you know, with your _snoring face_." She pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"I just can't help it, da-ze," the Asian country replied with a shrug.

Cuba was dressed in a black-and-white-striped referee outfit. He raised his whistle to his lips and blew it. He walked down the line of campers, aiming disgusted looks at each and every one of them. He reported back to Canada's side.

"Today's challenge is the classic game of dodgeball," Kumajirou explained. "The first rule of dodgeball is…"

Romano interrupted. "Do not talk about dodgeball?" He snickered.

Canada frowned. He had endured a whole lifetime of being interrupted, and now they had to go and interrupt Kumajirou, too? What was the world coming to? He motioned for the bear to continue.

"As I was saying," Kumajirou continued, "if you get hit with the ball…"

Cuba hurled a red rubber ball at Eliza. She let out a small "oof" as she caught it in her arms.

"…you're out."

"Way to give me a heads-up," Hungary muttered sarcastically, chucking the ball back. Cuba caught it easily.

"If you catch the ball, the thrower is out and the catcher gets to bring another team member onto the court."

"Throwing balls," Lovino remarked dryly. "Another fucking mentally challenging test."

"I know, right?" Ukraine agreed. Apparently she had no idea he was being sarcastic.

"Try to hit me," instructed Cuba, throwing a ball to France. "If you're holding a ball, you can use it to deflect incoming balls." He dropped the ball he was holding. "If the ball is knocked out of your hands, you're out."

"What do I do again when the ball comes at me?" Yekaterina wondered.

France threw his ball and Cuba deflected it. It smacked Ukraine in the head and she keeled over.

Cuba winced. "You were supposed to dodge," he informed her.

"Oh," she moaned, standing up with her hand on her forehead. "Right." When she uncovered her forehead, she exposed a purple lump that was swollen already.

"You have one minute until game time," said Kumajirou. "Gophers, since you have more members, you'll have to sit one person out each game."

"G-good luck, everyone," Matthew "silently" cheered. "Try not to get hurt too badly."

"We can't get lazy," Turkey told the rest of the team. "The Bass will be giving it their all to catch up." Behind him, Taiwan yawned. "We can't be dragging someone who is half-asleep around. We should sit Taiwan out first."

"All right, I'll volunteer," said Lovino nonchalantly, seating himself on the bench. "You bastards get your asses out there and dodge."

The teams were ready to begin. On the Gophers' side, Turkey, Ukraine, America, Seychelles, and England were lined up, facing down China, Germany, Hungary, Russia, and Hong Kong on the Bass' side. Each side had three balls to start with.

"Bring it on, fishies," Turkey jeered. "Otherwise, winning three in a row just won't be as satisfying."

"We won't lose to you!" Germany roared back in reply.

"We're going to use your blood in our vodka," said Russia, a glint in his violet eyes. China gulped. Russia was serious.

"Both teams ready," called Kumajirou. "Best of five games wins!"

"Be careful of America's throws," Canada added, flashing back to the time he took a crotch shot from one of America's baseballs.

"Let's dodge some ball!" Cuba blew his whistle, signaling for the game to begin.

Germany, Russia, and Hungary, the three strongest throwers on the Bass, picked up the balls from their side. The Gophers had America, England, and Turkey as their starting throwers.

England hurled his ball at the Bass, but missed. Russia returned fire, aiming at America. The "hero" executed one of his signature backflips and managed to avoid getting hit. Then he followed up by rushing to the front of his side and nailing Hong Kong in the stomach. The Asian country smacked into the wall painfully, yet uttered no cry. He took his seat on the sidelines. The Bass now had four players on the court.

China picked up a ball. "Now you will get a taste of ancient Chinese kung fu-aru~ Prepare to be astonished!" He assumed a stance, balancing on one foot and holding the ball aloft. He then threw it at the ground with all his might. It bounced twice and rolled to a stop on the other side- right in front of Seychelles. She snatched it from the floor and smiled.

China turned and retreated, but he didn't get that far before Seychelles hit him in the back and he crashed against the wall with a thud. Canada winced. He hadn't known that the island nation could be so strong. Looking at her again, though, he could see her lithe musculature. She was an athlete.

The Bass were down to three as Wang Yao slinked over to the sidelines.

"Nice shot," England praised Seychelles.

She blushed and said, "It was nothing, really."

"Can someone remind me what I'm supposed to do with this?" Ukraine had a ball in her hands.

The projectile came so fast, none of the Gophers saw it coming. Germany had made his move, sending Yekaterina sprawling on the floor. Now the Gophers had only one more player than the Bass. The Bass in the sidelines cheered their heads off.

Turkey was angered by their noise and winged a ball at the crowd, hitting Italy squarely in the stomach. Feli fell over like a sack of potatoes.

"What was that?" Germany growled. "Italy wasn't even on the court!"

Cuba gave Turkey a suspicious glare.

"Oops," said Turkey. "It slipped out of my hand. Clumsy me."

Germany couldn't hold back his rage any longer. No one messed with Italy on his watch! He grabbed a ball and hurled it, full-speed, at Turkey.

Turkey gasped and braced himself for the incoming blow, but luckily America leaned over and caught it just as it was about to smack the crap out of him.

Since Ludwig's ball had been caught, he was out. He stormed to his seat, muttering all sorts of German profanities.

The Gophers got to bring someone else out on the court since America had caught a ball. Taiwan was forced to step out onto the court, even though she was still exhausted.

Right when Mei arrived, Hungary took aim and fired. Mei crashed onto the floor.

"Sorry," Eliza apologized. She had done it just to even out the teams again.

"It's okay," Taiwan replied as Alfred helped her to her feet. In fact, she was relieved that she would be sitting out again. The last thing she needed when she was this tired was to play a dangerous game of dodgeball.

It was two versus two. Alfred had finally gotten hit when he was helping Taiwan up. The Gophers were England and Seychelles. The Bass were Russia and Hungary.

Both of the Bass aimed at Seychelles. She deflected Eliza's ball but was too slow to deflect the second ball from Ivan. She was nailed in the stomach and went to sit out.

Only England was left on the Gophers' side. Russia and Hungary looked at him and grinned.

Arthur's emerald-green eyes widened for a split second, then his fear was gone as soon as it had come. He spun his ball in the air, then caught it when it was still rotating. He proceeded to hurl it at Russia, who ducked to evade it.

The most unbelievable thing happened next. Ivan was confident that he'd dodged England's shot, but he was dead wrong. The ball curved back around and hit the Russian from behind. The expression on Ivan's face was priceless.

"Whoa." Cuba looked at England with wonder. "How did you throw like that?"

"All in the trick of the hands," the blond gentleman answered as he ducked to avoid a hit from Hungary. He straightened up and rubbed his ball on his UK-flag design t-shirt until the ball sparked with electricity.

The ball followed Eliza like a heat-seeking missile when she turned to flee. The rest of the Bass watched in horror as she ran first this way, then that way, and was finally cornered at the wall and hit.

And so the Gophers celebrated their third victory in a row. For once, neither America nor France dared to insult England. They were simply too awestruck at his dodgeball skills.

"British dude," said America, staring down at the ground. "You've officially gone up in the awesomeness ladder."

"Angleterre," France confessed shamefacedly, "You are the king of dodgeball. Merci. You saved our team."

Arthur smirked and thought, _All those dodgeball games I played in London really paid off._

"Calm down, guys. We can do this-aru~ We just have to believe in ourselves." China was giving the Bass a pep talk to raise team morale.

Hungary retorted, "I believe you stink!" It was true, Wang Yao had failed miserably.

"You failed to finish off England," Hong Kong reminded her quietly, defending China.

"You think _you_ did any better?" Eliza's temper was rising. "You were the first one out!"

"I can do this," said Hong Kong. "Please, trust me and give me all the balls." They eyed him skeptically, but complied.

Cuba blew his whistle, warning that the game would commence soon.

"Romano, you're up," said Turkey. The Italian was chowing down on tomatoes.

"You bastards did such a fucking good job on the last game that I don't want to ruin your winning streak," he said in between bites of tomato.

Turkey knew that Lovino was just being lazy. He scowled and sighed, "Fine. Let's go, guys."

The Bass stood tall on their side of the court (or as tall as they could stand, i.e. Sealand). Hong Kong held their whole supply of projectiles in his arms. He also held assorted fireworks.

The Gophers were curious what their adversaries were going to do. They looked on as Hong Kong set matches to the fireworks and tied them to the balls with sturdy string. Then he let go of everything.

The first firework-powered ball zoomed into Cuba's torso and exploded in a shower of red sparks. The large man went flying out of the enclosure. The second whizzed right above Matthew's head.

"Watch it," Kumajirou reprimanded Hong Kong. "You almost hit my master." A purple explosion drowned out his words.

The third ball sent the Gophers on the bench ducking for cover. They dove out of the way as the bench blew up in a green flash.

The last deadly ball bowled Ukraine over (again) and detonated in a blue light, blowing her over the glass walls.

Russia knew he had to tend to his big sister, so he brought her back inside the court onto her side. He waited for her to return to consciousness.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly as she woke up.

"Is my face okay?" Yekaterina questioned. She had taken four shots to the face in the same day. That meant four lovely purple lumps.

Ivan lied, "It's actually not that bad." He didn't want to hurt her feelings; he knew how easily she cried.

As they shared this tender sibling love moment, Japan walked over and lobbed his ball gently at Russia, getting him out. Hungary facepalmed.

"You want to go for a walk?" Ivan suggested.

_I have to say no or else Turkey will get mad at me, _Ukraine reminded herself. "Okay." Her mouth disobeyed her.

Turkey watched in shock as she and her little brother left the court together. "Get back here," he commanded. "You are _so_ close to being out of the alliance!"

"Game on!" roared Alfred, charging into battle. He snatched a ball from Greece and winged it at a breakneck speed, hitting both Hong Kong and Sealand. He stole another ball from Spain and decked Italy with it. With a yell, he took the ball that Japan offered to him and took out South Korea. All four of the Bass were rubbing their heads. The Gophers had won yet another game.

America laughed and boasted, "Did you see how fast I took those guys out? It was like, boom, boom, boom, boom, and they were down!"

"I'm glad _someone_ is trying today," Turkey sneered, glaring pointedly at Romano.

South Italy gave the most un-enthusiastic cheer ever and said sarcastically, "Way to kick their asses, guys. Go, fucking team, go." Then he went back to eating his favorite food.

"Nice team spirit," Turkey commented dryly. Next, he turned his attention to the Bass. "Hey! It's two to zero," he called. "How does it feel to be losing _again_?"

"Not very good," Italy sniffled, tears in his soft amber eyes.

"It's not over yet," Eliza comforted him. But deep in her heart, she knew that it _was_ over.

Hungary gave her team a reality check as they rested on the sidelines. "This is very bad. If we lose one more game, we lose the whole challenge, again! We can't let that happen! We need someone strong, someone mean, someone who can crush the Gophers into the dirt!"

"How about Germany?" suggested Italy. "I think he can do it. He's very scary. Vee~"

"Nein, Italy," Ludwig replied. "I don't think even I can beat them. They have England and America. Mein gott, if only Prussia was awake. He might be able to do it. But he won't be happy if we wake him up."

"He wants to win, too," Hungary reminded them.

In the end, no one had the guts to wake Prussia up by themselves. It turned into a team effort. They got a long stick and stuck it up Gilbert's nose. He instantly sprang up, grabbed the stick, and snapped it in half. Italy was the closest to him, so Gilbert threatened, "You'd better have a really good reason for sticking this up the awesome me's nose!"

Hungary got in front of Feli and explained the situation to Prussia. "Look, we are down two to zero. I know you need some sleep, but we need your help now."

"Oh, and why should the awesome me help you?" Gilbert asked.

Here, Eliza employed some blackmail. "If we lose this game, I guarantee you that you'll be the one going home."

Prussia took a deep breath. "Fine. The awesome me will play." He added, "On one condition. You follow the awesome me's directions exactly." Hungary gave a nod.

"Okay," Gilbert said. "Here is one of my awesome strategies. It's called, 'rush the new guy.'" He explained his plan.

The game started. The Bass ducked to evade the Gophers' shots. When the Gophers had expended their supply, the Bass collected all the balls and fired as one at America. Of course, he hadn't seen this coming and was unable to dodge. He was out. Prussia "Kesesesese"'d as his team cheered.

The Bass did likewise to Seychelles, then to Greece and Spain. And while France was taking blows, Prussia looked proudly on.

The Bass had managed to escape another devastating loss.

Lovino glanced up from the tomato he was about to devour and complained, "You bastards couldn't even win this round? We need more fucking effort out there." Seychelles and France shot him venomous looks simultaneously.

"Let's do the same thing again," Hungary suggested. "Italy, you should sit out again."

"Vee~ okey-dokey! I don't want to face those scary balls again." The Italian gladly flounced over to the sidelines.

Turkey was giving another speech. "Not that _Romano _cares," he said snidely. "But we are _not_ losing another game to these guys, _got it_? And _where_ is Ukraine?" He groaned, exasperated, and left the enclosure to go search for his missing minion.

He found Russia and Ukraine sitting under the Dock of Shame, talking about how good things were before the Soviet Union broke apart.

"This is against the rules!" Turkey snapped at them.

"I'm sorry," Yekaterina squeaked. "I-I didn't mean to do it!"

Ivan growled, "Why don't you just leave my big sister alone?" His normally sweet face contained an unstable expression.

Turkey should've stopped right there. Instead, he raised a wooden canoe above his head and hurled it down upon Russia. It shattered into a million pieces on contact.

Ivan gave a dangerous smile, and his signature purple aura surrounded him. It was all Ukraine could do to prevent him from hacking Turkey into tiny bits with his pickaxe right then and there.

Turkey dragged her back to the court. "Sit down," he commanded. "And stay there."

"Okay," Ukraine agreed dejectedly as she plonked herself down on the sidelines.

Turkey turned back to watch the game. "How are we doing?" he asked a second before Spain was nailed by four balls.

"Sports," Romano reminded them. "I fucking suck at sports, remember?"

"You know," said Turkey. "You could actually _try _or at least _pretend _to care." He was getting fed up with Romano's attitude.

Boisterous cheers emanated from the Bass' side as they decked the last of the Gophers.

"This is unacceptable!" screamed Turkey.

Russia arrived back at the court and took his seat, eyeing Turkey like a hawk.

"Where were you?" Eliza demanded to know.

"In the Motherland," Ivan replied with an easy smile, his pupils still focused on Turkey.

"Stop fooling around." Hungary crossed her arms. "You were with your sister, weren't you?"

"Nyet," Ivan denied. Then he decided nothing good could come of lying. "Actually, da. So what?"

"So?" Eliza exploded. "She could've been getting information about our team's weaknesses from you!" Ukraine was trying to sew together some loose string on her shirt.

"Oh, trust me, I know better than to tell the enemy team valuable information," Russia assured her. Then his features went dark. "Or do you doubt me?"

Hungary wasn't dumb enough to admit that she didn't trust Russia. She shook her head.

"Okay, this is it," Kumajirou announced. "The final tiebreaking game!"

"Go, jackasses, go!" Romano "cheered" from the sidelines.

The Bass had a team huddle.

"Who's going in?" said Prussia.

"I think I should go," China suggested.

"No way," Hungary scoffed. "Not after that little kung-fu stunt you pulled."

"Fine-aru~" Wang Yao nodded solemnly and curled up on the sidelines.

"Both teams ready? Then go!" Cuba blew his whistle.

Taiwan scooped a ball up with her foot and gave it to England, who passed it to Seychelles, who tossed it to Turkey. He flung it at Germany, who jumped over it. Then Turkey himself leaped to evade a ball. America and England hurled balls in rapid succession, but they were dodged by the Bass, who were more alert than ever. The Bass opened fire and nailed Arthur, but it was a trade-off as South Korea was hit.

The gentleman took his seat, switching places with Antonio. More and more Gophers started appearing next to him on the sidelines, jumping in and out as replacements.

"Knock those bastards out," Lovino said. "Yay, team." A flying ball sent him keeling over. His tomatoes splattered all over the place.

"Can't say I don't enjoy seeing that," Seychelles giggled. By now, every Gopher was tired of South Italy's degrading attitude.

The moment Italy traded out with Hong Kong, he was smacked in the face. _So much for reinforcements, _Gilbert thought, facepalming.

The Bass were replacing people as fast as they could, and soon, it was China's turn to shine.

Taiwan winged a ball at Hungary and landed a hit on her face. "That's for the oatmeal this morning," she called. "Nothing personal."

Sealand ducked a ball, but couldn't avoid getting hit by the next one.

Seychelles took a shot to the face.

Prussia got hit in the head three times in a row.

A ball was coming at Mei fast. Arthur dove in front of it, blocking it for her.

Ludwig and Mei hurled their balls simultaneously and were both knocked out at the same time.

Both teams were down to only one player. The Gophers had America, and the Bass had China.

The Gophers were confident they were going to win. They cheered the "hero" on as loudly as they could. The Bass, on the other hand, could do nothing but look scared.

"Sorry, dude," Alfred apologized. "But you've gotta go down."

"Good night, China," Prussia said.

They all thought he was done for, but Wang Yao's kung-fu kicked in and knocked the Gophers for a loop. It was quite a spectacle to witness. He was so light on his feet, he barely touched the ground. He easily pirouetted and jumped. One ball whizzed right above him, almost grazing his nose.

"Time out!" Eliza called.

China sat on the sidelines as Hungary and Prussia explained what to do.

"That was some awesome dodging," Gilbert praised him.

"But dodging isn't enough," warned Hungary. "You have to either hit America, which we all know you can't do, or catch it. Can you do it?"

"I have the ancient art of kung-fu inside me. I can do it-aru~" It was impossible for any other 4000-year-old man to have a more determined glint in his eye. He strode out onto the court, resolve coursing through him.

"China! China! China!" The Bass goaded him on.

"Eat this!" yelled Alfred, winding up and flinging the ball at Wang Yao.

The Oriental country slammed against the wall, cradling his stomach. The Bass gasped. Had he been hit?

Much to their relief, China raised his arms a second later to reveal the ball, trapped between his arms and his torso. He'd caught it.

The whistle was heard. "The Killer Bass win!" Kumajirou called excitedly. Matthew was so happy, his plate of pancakes flew off his lap and splattered on the ground.

The Bass raised a collective cheer. Their first win!

"This is impossible," America cried, sinking to his knees on the court. "How could the hero lose?"

Wang Yao was borne aloft by his teammates, like a hero.

"Nice moves," Prussia admitted bashfully.

"What happened to you guys?" Cuba questioned, walking over to the Gophers.

"Weak-ass effort," Lovino said, rolling his eyes. His team growled in annoyance, and just up and left, except for America, Japan, Spain, and Greece.

"The team spirit is just fucking horrible," Romano continued to complain. Even Japan was coloring a little from his pent-up anger. Spain knew his henchman was in for it now.

The campfire ceremony was in progress.

"You've all cast your votes," Cuba said. "One of you will be going back. And you can't come back, _ever. _When you hear your name, come pick up a marshmallow." He raised the tray in the air for emphasis.

"America."

"Taiwan."

"England."

"Japan."

"Turkey."

"Spain."

"France."

"Seychelles."

"Greece."

"And the final marshmallow goes to…"

Ukraine crossed her fingers for luck.

Romano just sat there, arms folded, grinning smugly. He was sure that he wouldn't be kicked off. Especially since it was him versus _Ukraine._

His hopes were dashed when Cuba said, "Ukraine."

She ran up to claim her marshmallow and kissed it over and over.

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?" Lovino cried. His momentary surprise faded, and his normal tsundere came out again. "See if I fucking care. I don't give a shit! And good luck to you assholes, because you just voted off your strongest player!"

He was pelted by nearly a dozen marshmallows.

Seychelles dusted off her hands. "You need to learn some respect," she snapped. The rest of the team confirmed their mutual feeling: Romano had to go.

Except for one. Antonio wrapped his henchman up in a tight embrace. "I'm going to miss you, Lovi," he sobbed, his tears dropping onto Romano's shirt.

"I'll miss you, too," Romano whispered so only Spain could hear. Then his face hardened. "Let go of me now," he yelled so everyone could hear. "I'm fucking outta here."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summer is finally here! That means more frequent updates. Also, be sure to go vote on the poll in my profile page!**

* * *

In the girls' cabin, Ukraine was fretting over how she was running out of string to patch her clothes up with.

"What a serious, life threatening problem," said Hungary sarcastically, sitting up in bed.

"Now I'll have to hold my clothes together," Yekaterina sobbed.

"Mhm," Eliza mumbled detachedly, looking in a hand-held mirror and straightening her long brown hair.

A long, prolonged blast came from the loudspeaker mounted on a pole in the center of camp. "Alright, campers, enough beauty sleep! Time to show us what you're made of!" Cuba's voice resounded across the clearing.

"But there's no such thing as enough beauty sleep," France complained, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, shut it, frog. Just get moving." Arthur was tired too, but he wouldn't have Francis holding them up.

A few minutes of dressing and a stroll through the woods later, everyone was gathered in the middle of another clearing. In this clearing was a small stage, complete with hanging lights and red curtains. There were two benches facing the stage, one for each team.

"Oh!" Ukraine exclaimed. "Is this a Russian dance? I love those!" She clasped her hands together.

"Taiwan," Japan called, hailing Mei with a hand. "I saved you a seat." Delighted, she took her seat next to him.

"Thanks." Her smile was a beautiful sight to behold.

Turkey looked over at Taiwan suspiciously. He smelled something fishy between her and Japan. Lately, the young, pretty island nation had been the center of all of Kiku's attention. Turkey did not like it when others got to hang out with Japan.

Ukraine blew a kiss over to Russia. He happily waved back. She was about to return the gesture, but Turkey shot her a death glare and she stopped mid-wave.

"This stage cost a lot of money," Matthew informed Cuba nervously from beside him on the stage. "Please make sure they don't ruin it. I want to keep it for a play about myself that I'm making." _And no one's going to watch,_ he neglected from saying.

Cuba gave his friend a nod. "If there's so much as a scratch on the stage after they're done, I'll find who did it and snap their neck."

"Uh…I don't know about the neck snapping…" said Matthew uneasily.

"Oh, okay," sighed Cuba. "But I'll still warn them!" Turning back to the crowd, he announced, "This week's challenge is a talent contest!" This elicited a triumphant cheer from America. "Each team has eight hours to pick their three most talented campers. These three will represent them in the show tonight. Sing, dance, juggle, anything goes…as long as it's legal." Francis pouted; he'd been planning to do his act nude. "I will personally be your judge. I will show my approval via the 'Cuba Meter'." Canada lifted a little device up in the air. It had a bar that lit up at Cuba's will. The amount the bar lit up would depend on how much Cuba liked the act. "One last thing- if any of you even make a scratch on this stage…" He cracked his knuckles and left it at that.

Canada wished everyone good luck, and he and Cuba left the clearing.

Turkey called for silence. "I'm team captain, so here's how it's going to work," he addressed the Gophers.

"Wait," interrupted Taiwan. "Who said _you_ were team captain?" Her brown eyes suddenly seemed much harsher.

"He did, just now," Yekaterina told Mei matter-of-factly.

"Spain, Ukraine, and I took a vote," said Turkey. "And I won."

"You _threatened _them to vote for you," Taiwan accused, pointing a finger at Turkey.

Japan arrived on the scene. He held a mochi out to Mei. "I had an extra mochi, so I thought you might want it," he said.

Turkey smiled knowingly. "Japan, you're okay with me leading this project, right?" he asked.

"Ah…yes, of course," Kiku replied.

"Good," Turkey said decisively. "Then Ukraine, Spain and I will be the judges."

Taiwan scowled and sighed, squeezing her mochi. "Whatever."

Over on the Bass' side, Italy was showing off his flag-waving skills with some music. Nobody was impressed.

"Mein gott." Germany facepalmed.

For the Gophers, Alfred was cramming as many burgers into his mouth as he could in sixty seconds.

"Are you going to audition?" Japan questioned Taiwan after America had downed his last burger.

Mei shook her head. "But I think you'd be great in the talent show," she said with a smile. "I heard you playing the koto the other night by the dock. It was truly beautiful." Her eyes went dreamy as she remembered the melodious sound of Kiku's playing.

Japan blushed slightly and said, "But that was just a simple piece. It was nothing special, really."

Mei was about to ask him what the title of the piece he'd played was called, but then the "hero" called, "And that's not all!" He proceeded to burp the whole English alphabet in one breath.

Everyone, save England, France, Taiwan, and Japan (who were all too polite to admit that America had done a good job), was impressed.

"_You_ are disgusting," Arthur complained. "You're _not_ going to do that in the talent show."

"Dude, it's really hard to burp the whole alphabet in one go," Alfred whined. "At least give me _some _form of applause."

"No," Arthur declared. "That was barbaric and not gentlemanly at all." This caused America to start sulking.

Mei started to leave.

"Where are _you_ going?" Turkey asked suspiciously.

"Anywhere that's not here," was Mei's brief response.

Russia was exhibiting his ability to juggle dead human skulls for the Bass to see.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Italy whimpered, turning green.

"You barf on me, you're dead," Prussia threatened him.

"Shut up, Gil!" Hungary punched Prussia in the shoulder.

"Ow! Hey, don't make me hit a girl…or at least I think you are one."

This elicited another blow from Hungary. She added, "And I know you'd never hit me."

"What? Kesese…what makes you so sure?" But Gilbert was coloring. Eliza just laughed and turned away.

Turkey was performing an awesome sword display. Whirling and slashing to fast-paced music, he ended his show with an impressive flip of his swords that would have impaled his throat if he hadn't caught it at the last second.

The Gophers applauded in stunned silence.

"Thank you." Turkey made a theatrical bow, then glanced over at Spain and Ukraine. He cleared his throat.

The two "henchcountries" stopped mid-clap. "Oh!" said Ukraine. "I vote for Turkey to be in the talent show!" Spain seconded her.

"Oh, thanks, guys." Turkey feigned gratitude. He suggested that everyone take a break.

As Yekaterina turned to go, he grabbed her arm. "I need you to do something." He fixed his eyeholes on her eyes. "Can you keep a secret?"

Ukraine replied, "Yes, I can…at least, I hope I can."

Turkey then instructed her, "Go to where Taiwan is. I want you to follow her and report back to me." He handed her a walkie-talkie that matched the one he held in his gloved hands.

Yekaterina arrived at the spot where Mei was sitting, reading a book of some sort. _I shouldn't be spying on her, _she thought from her position behind a tree. _This isn't very fun, either. _She swiveled her binoculars around and sighted Russia eating some borscht. _Watching Ivan is much more fun. Oh, he looks so peaceful. I hope he can be happy like this forever._

China was performing Tai Chi in front of the Bass. His movements were as fluid and graceful as a gentle brook. He ended with a full split. His teammates applauded.

Germany ordered, "Sign him up. Next!"

South Korea said, "Well, I can stand on my hands for twenty minutes." He propped himself up on his hands in a vertical position.

"How un-awesome is that?" snickered Prussia. "People will get so bored."

Ludwig agreed with his brother for once. "South Korea, I hate to admit it, but my stupid older brother is right. Even though I admire your talent because it requires tremendous upper body strength, other people might not think it is so impressive. Next!"

Sealand stepped up and took a deep breath, but Germany interrupted. "Next!" After all, what could some kid who wasn't even a country do? Sealand slumped and shuffled back to his seat.

Ukraine and Russia were eating borscht together. Ukraine had put her walkie-talkie to the side, completely forgetting about her mission. A voice squawked through the speaker. "Ukraine? What did you find out? Where are you?"

Yekaterina gave a start and hurriedly grabbed the walkie-talkie. "I'm on my way back," she lied. She started returning to Turkey after a hasty thank-you and goodbye to Ivan.

Prussia took out a skateboard and executed multiple flips and tricks for his team to spectate.

"That settles it." Germany counted up the acts. "We will go with Prussia's skateboard tricks, China's Tai Chi and…" He turned to Hungary. "Has Austria taught you how to play an instrument?"

She nodded. "I can play the violin pretty well."

"…And Hungary's violin solo." Germany wiped his brow. They were all set to go.

Seychelles performed yoga for the Gophers. France was mesmerized by all the seemingly-impossible positions she could bend her body into. He couldn't control his instincts any longer- he started walking toward her, arms outstretched. When England caught sight of what Francis was doing, his green eyes widened and he jumped, tackling his archenemy to the ground.

The British gentleman put blow after blow into France's stomach until he stopped struggling. Then he sighed. It sure was hard to stop a determined rapist. He smacked himself upside the head. Wait, why did he care if France got to rape Seychelles?

Seychelles stared at Arthur, wide-eyed. "Thank you," she whispered.

England averted her gaze. "Y-yeah, well, you know, I-I'm a gentleman, so I wouldn't allow anyone to do indecent things to a lady, s-so…" Why was he stammering all of a sudden? He had ruled over Seychelles for a very long time after France had left her, but during that time, they'd barely talked. They'd barely even seen each other. Was he finally understanding the true value of this gorgeous island nation?

Spain had been planning to do a live bullfight, but he figured that it would wreck the stage, and then Cuba wouldn't be happy. So he settled for twirling fire instead.

"Are you sure this is safe?" asked Seychelles from her hiding place behind the bench. The other Gophers were huddled in the same place. They didn't want to risk getting burnt when the happy-go-lucky Spaniard slipped up.

"Don't worry, mis compadres," Antonio assured them. "Boss Spain has this all under control." As he spoke, he flung both fire sticks up in the air. They twirled end over end, then one of them plummeted downward, right at the spot where Spain stood. "Olé!" he cried, the stick missing his foot by about a millimeter. "Fusoso…I kind of missed the catching part," he chuckled, scratching his head.

"Where did the other one go?" Japan wondered aloud. He smelled something burning behind him and pointed to a blazing bush. "Everyone, the bush is on fire," he informed them.

That was when America burst out of a nearby storage shed, complete with sunglasses and fire extinguisher. He hosed down the bush until it was completely covered by white foam.

"Nice save, America," England admitted grudgingly.

"Hahahaha! No prob for the hero!" Alfred flashed his dazzling smile.

Turkey rolled his eyes (though no one could see it). "Okay, for the talent show, then, it's me, Japan, and America, for lack of better options."

Arthur shook his head. Now that America was in the talent show, they were surely going to lose.

Mei was still sitting in the woods, scrawling things in her 'book" with a pen. When she was done, she came back to the other Gophers. After safely putting her "book" away, she changed into her swimsuit in the bathroom. She missed the water already. She was an island, after all. She announced, "I'm going swimming", and started heading out of camp.

Japan asked, "Do you mind if I come with you?"

Taiwan said, "Oh, not at all", but seeing Turkey's evil grin plastered onto his features made her a bit cautious. "Whatever," she muttered. The two Asian nations left together.

Turkey watched them leave, then turned to Ukraine. "We have to find her diary," he smirked.

Hungary was practicing her violin solo onstage while the rest of the Bass looked on.

Germany was curious to see if South Korea could really stand on his hands for twenty minutes.

"You want to bet that I can't do it, da-ze?" South Korea asked, raising an eyebrow. He held out a piece of wurst.

"How do you have that?" Ludwig questioned. As far as he knew, he had not imported wurst to South Korea before.

"Wurst is made in South Korea, da-ze!" South Korea replied matter-of-factly. Germany was about to argue, but decided it was pointless.

"Oh, oh! You guys are playing a game? I want to play too!" Feli said.

"Okay then, Italy, you bet against South Korea with me," Ludwig instructed his much smaller friend. "If we win, we can split the wurst."

"But I don't like wurst. I like pasta!" Italy cried.

A warm plate of pasta appeared magically in South Korea's other hand.

"Oh!" Italy caught the scent of his favorite dish and immediately agreed to bet with Germany.

China and Prussia were playing cards. Honestly, China would've preferred mahjong, but he supposed cards were okay, too. Gilbert was unsuccessfully trying to cheat by having his fluffy yellow friend fly over to Wang Yao's side and peek at his cards. Every time he tried this, he got a swift kick in the leg.

"You guys want to bet, too, da-ze?" South Korea called over to them.

"Sure, why not? The awesome me has nothing better to do." Prussia threw down his cards and strode over, rummaging around in his pockets until he came up with a few Prussian coins. Wang Yao quickly followed suit.

"Twenty minutes, starting…now, da-ze!" South Korea announced, flipping into his handstand position. He walked with his hands along the floor, right past Elizabeta. She ceased her practicing for a second, then continued again.

South Korea didn't notice that a rope was hanging down behind Eliza, and, consequently, got his leg tangled up in it. Trying to free himself, he walked back and forth, whisking his legs around. He dove out of the way as the hanging light that the rope was connected to dropped down…right on top of Hungary and her violin.

"Not good," grumbled Germany. "Not good at all."

The poor instrument was utterly destroyed. Hungary had to be sent to the infirmary and returned later with her head bandaged up. South Korea approached her to apologize, but she made the first move.

"You…you ruined the violin that Mr. Austria gave me!" She cradled the broken instrument in her hands like a baby.

"I didn't mean to, da-ze! I can fix it, da-ze!" South Korea snatched the violin from her hands and attempted to jam the two halves back together, which only succeeded in creating more pieces.

Eliza looked like she was about to cry. Roderich had given that violin to her on one of their anniversaries.

Turkey was sneaking into the girls' cabin. He commanded Ukraine, "You stand guard. If you see Taiwan coming, warn me." he shut the cabin door behind him.

"Okay," Yekaterina confirmed.

Taiwan and Japan were sitting out on the dock, dangling their feet in the cool water below.

Mei sighed. "Sometimes, I just need a little peace and quiet," she admitted. "That is hard to do with everyone else there. They're all special in their own way, but they're so…loud. Except for one of them." She looked at Japan pointedly.

This tender moment was ruined when America and England came pounding along the dock in their swimming trunks.

"Cannonball!" the "hero" hollered, dive-bombing the water and soaking both Mei and Kiku.

"Ugh!" Mei snapped. "I hate this place!" She stormed off back to camp.

Kiku shook his head. "Sometimes, you can be so infuriating, Mr. America," he muttered under his breath.

"Tell me about it," agreed Arthur. He'd heard Japan's remark.

Turkey was hurling stuff around inside the girls' cabin. He hadn't found the diary yet. _If I were a secret diary, where would I be hiding? _he wondered.

Ukraine was unsuccessfully trying to sew some loose strings on her shirt together when Taiwan came along. At first, Ukraine cluelessly called a greeting out to Mei, then something clicked in her brain. "Oh! Taiwan! It's you! Hi, what are you doing outside the cabin, Taiwan?" She took Mei by the shoulders.

Turkey knew the jig was up.

"Um, trying to get _into _the cabin?" Taiwan growled.

"Oh, you're trying to get into the cabin! That's very interesting!" Yekaterina said enthusiastically.

Turkey was digging in a drawer.

Taiwan took a step forward, but Ukraine held her back. "Wait! Stay here. We can…fix your hair together! Why are you completely soaked?"

Turkey finally found what he was looking for inside the drawer. He let out an exuberant "Yes! She is dead now." He heard Mei's angry tones right outside the cabin.

"Are you going to move, or do I have to force my way through?"

He quickly closed the drawer and scrambled to get everything back in place.

"Please don't hurt me," Ukraine whimpered. "You can go in."

Taiwan shoved her way past Yekaterina into the cabin.

"Look! Taiwan's back!" Ukraine announced to erase suspicion.

"Hey, Taiwan," Turkey addressed the Asian country. "Did you have a good swim?"

"Why are you in here?" Mei questioned sharply. "What's going on?"

Turkey had a backup plan for everything. He lifted a bra off a bed. "I was looking for this," he said.

Mei gaped at him. "You pervert!" she screamed. "Get out of here right now!" Turkey allowed himself to be shoved roughly out the door. After all, he had gotten what he'd come for.

All performers were onstage, preparing for the big show that night.

South Korea assured Hungary, "I know I'm not as good as you are on the violin, but I can do this, da-ze!" She glared skeptically at him.

Turkey strode over to the two countries. "South Korea!" he exclaimed. "Too bad about the accident. But I guess you're going to get your fifteen seconds of fame after all, huh?"

"What is that supposed to mean, da-ze?" South Korea chomped on some kimchi.

"Oh, nothing," said Turkey, cold calculation in his eyes. "No one would sabotage their own teammate…unless they maybe felt threatened."

"Hey! Our team would never do something like that, da-ze!" South Korea stuck up for the Bass. "Though I can't say the same about yours, da-ze," he added, blowing a raspberry at Turkey.

"Well, I guess you'll go down as a team, too," smirked Turkey. Hungary punched him right in his masked face.

It was showtime.

"Here's the TDH Challenge Extravaganza!" Kumajirou announced from his place in the center of stage. "Welcome to the Camp Wawanakwa Talent Contest."

Cuba added, "Where six campers will showcase their skills and desperately try not to humiliate themselves." He had a quiet snicker.

"First up for the Screaming Gophers is America!" Kumajirou made a flourish and exited the stage.

"I can't watch," England whimpered, covering his eyes.

Alfred did a training routine to the song "Eye of the Tiger". There were plenty of push-ups, arm hangs, and sit-ups, not to mention a punching bag. Believe it or not, Cuba was impressed. Though he hated America, he had to admit that the "hero" was strong. He couldn't say that he didn't respect a strong man. Canada read the "Cuba Meter" and was surprised to see that the bar was two-thirds full.

"Wow," Arthur gasped, astounded. "How could he actually…" his voice trailed off.

"Next up is China, performing Tai Chi for the Killer Bass," Kumajirou called.

Wang Yao pranced onto the stage and started doing his Tai Chi. However, he had a serious case of stage fright and screwed up, tripping over his own feet and landing on his face. Matthew thought to himself, _That would have been good if he weren't so nervous._ The "Cuba Meter" was only lit about one-sixth of the way.

"Two down and four acts to go," Kumajirou informed them. "Give it up for Japan!"

Kiku walked calmly onto the stage, toting his koto. He took a seat on a stool at center stage and propped his instrument up on his lap. Looking out at the crowd, he told everyone, "I would like to dedicate this song to someone special here at camp." After his announcement, he started playing the most beautiful rendition of "Sakura, Sakura". Everyone was touched by his performance- Cuba, too, apparently. At the end of his song, Japan stood and confessed, "This song is for the girl who is as beautiful as sakura blossoms in the springtime." He took a bow and got a standing ovation. The "Cuba Meter" lit up a whopping seven-eighths of the way.

"Three down and three to go, and the Killer Bass have to catch up quick," said Kumajirou. "Let's hear it for South Korea!"

Backstage, Hungary asked South Korea, "Are you sure you can do this?"

South Korea's stomach grumbled from all the kimchi he'd eaten before. "Of course, da-ze! I'm going to be fine, da-ze!"

Out walked South Korea on his hands onto the stage. A few steps, and he had to emit a loud belch. This burp was quickly followed by a second one, and this one was succeeded by a waterfall of vomit. The whole volume of Niagara Falls in vomit gushed out of South Korea's mouth and splattered onto America's shirt. "I'm hit!" he yelled. "The hero is hit!"

More puke, and this time the targets were on the Bass. Germany and Italy were positively doused in the gunk. Italy let out a scream, then upchucked all over his unfortunate German friend.

The final stream of green liquid made its way out onto Greece's once-clean white shirt. "Now, this is disgusting," he commented. Not even he could fall asleep with a ton of vomit on him.

South Korea lost his balance from the slippery vomit onstage. He flew right into China.

"Aru~!" cried Wang Yao. He was obviously in distress. The last thing he wanted right now was to get a faceful of vomit. To make matters worse, South Korea was groping him.

"My stage!" Matthew exclaimed. His light blue eyes welled up with barely restrained tears.

"I'll clean it up for you, don't you worry, Canada." Cuba laid a large hand on his friend's shoulder. He left and returned with a mop and a bucket of water.

"I'll help you," Canada offered. He grabbed a second mop. Kumajirou pitched in, too.

Fifteen minutes of intense cleaning later, the show was back on the road. The "Cuba Meter" registered one-fourth lit.

"The Gophers are still in the lead," announced Kumajirou. "Without further delay, let's have Turkey come perform for us."

Out Turkey strutted in his swordplay outfit. Yet he carried no weapons. He took a seat on the stool and spoke out to the crowd. "Originally, I was going to perform a sword dance for you. But instead, I want to celebrate team spirit with a collaboration." He drew a thin volume out of the folds of his cloak.

As soon as Mei laid eyes on the object Turkey had in his hands, she gasped. "He _wouldn't_."

Turkey continued, "Words by Taiwan. Performance by me. Enjoy." He cleared his throat and started reading Taiwan's diary aloud. "Okay. I'm trying to ignore him, but he's just so cute. If they had custom-ordered a guy to be a distraction for me here, it would've been my 'Sasuke Uchiha'. We just totally connect. He's pretty much the only person I can relate to here, and I know it's a cliché, but I love guys who play kotos." Every eye turned to the one nation who had a koto in his hands- Japan. Taiwan winced and fled from the embarrassment. Turkey watched her go, then concluded with a "thank you".

Backstage, Hungary commented, "That was so mean."

Prussia agreed with her, even though he wasn't the nicest person in the world either.

"We're down to the final act of the night," Kumajirou said. "Can Prussia and his skateboard tricks win it for the Bass?"

Grinning, Gilbert did a test flip but broke his skateboard in half as he landed on it. He gave a nervous little "kesesesese".

"Are you serious?" Eliza was about to smack Gilbert across the face when Sealand arrived backstage.

"There's no need to fear, Sealand is here!" he shouted. Hungary gulped. She knew she was going to regret sending him out there.

The little boy stood at the microphone, which was about twice his height. He adjusted it to his level, cleared his throat, and started singing sweetly. "Doe, a deer, a female deer, ray, a drop of golden sun…" He even added a little dance routine to it.

Everyone was awestruck. So awestruck, in fact, that they started singing along with Sealand. By the time they were at "do" again, every country was having a good time. For once, they were all brought together by the sound of music. When the song was over, they burst into wild applause.

The light on the "Cuba Meter" flashed and indicated that the bar was fully lit. Cuba was wiping tears from his eyes at Sealand's stunning performance. Canada's smile shone proud and bright.

"In a stunning upset, the Screaming Gophers are trampled by the Killer Bass!" Kumajirou bounced up and down, repeating this over and over.

Hungary pulled Sealand to her in a big hug. "That was amazing! Mr. Austria would be so proud!"

China complimented the child, "You really came through for us-aru~"

Sealand beamed with pride. "Does this mean I get to become a country?" he inquired hopefully.

Germany laid a hand on his shoulder. "Ja, absolutely. You deserve it."

"YES!" Sealand's voice echoed throughout the whole forest.

"Screaming Gophers," growled Cuba. "I'll see you at the bonfire." The Gophers winced in unison.

Nearly all the names had been called, and it was down to the final marshmallow at the elimination ceremony. Only Greece and Turkey were left without a marshmallow. Turkey had gotten some votes against him for doing such a mean thing to Taiwan, but on the other hand, Turkey had managed to convince everyone else that didn't vote for him to vote for Greece because Greece was not so useful to their team.

In the end, it was Greece who was heading down the Dock of Shame. He called a farewell back to Japan, then collapsed, asleep, on the Boat of Losers.

Japan felt guilty. He hadn't warned Greece of Turkey's treachery, and now Greece had been voted off.

_If Turkey thinks he can get away with what he did to me, he is wrong, _resolved Taiwan. She walked over to the boys' cabin before bedtime (when it was empty) and dumped Spain's whole supply of turtles into Turkey's bed. Then she covered them up with his sheets. When Turkey got into bed that night, he was bitten by the turtles and fled out of the cabin, shaking himself and cursing loudly in Turkish. Taiwan heard him and had a quiet chuckle.

"Sweet dreams, everyone."


	8. Chapter 8

**I will be leaving on a two-week vacation next Saturday. I'll try to make up for the two chapters I won't be able to write during those two weeks by posting the two chapters this week instead. When I get back, I will be on my usual schedule, so don't worry, readers! Well, see you around. VODKAAAAAA!**

* * *

The countries were gathered in the middle of one of the numerous clearings throughout the forest.

"Today's challenge will test your outdoor survival skills," Cuba informed them. "But the way you maggots are now, some of you won't come back." There was a collective gasp.

Russia just smiled, though. "He's just joking," he chuckled.

"It's only one night, c'mon," said Cuba. "Don't tell me you guys can't handle one night in the forest? Everything you need is at your team's campsite in the forest. You just have to find it." With that, he tossed two maps in the air. Turkey and Prussia each caught one.

"Oh, and watch out for bears," Canada warned, but of course, no one could hear his advice. He turned to see Kumajirou looking at him expectantly. "Not you, Kumasanrou, don't worry."

Hungary stood and snatched the map away from Prussia.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" he complained.

"_You're _going to get us lost," she replied. "At least _I_ don't wander around and get lost on hunting trips."

"That was a long time ago! The awesome me was still a kid!" Prussia protested to no avail.

"The first team back for breakfast wins invincibility! Now, move, move!" After Cuba's announcement, Canada blew his air horn, and the teams were off.

"A-are there bears in this forest?" Ukraine stammered. She was prepared to run to the safety of Mother Russia at any time.

"The hero once had an encounter with a bear! Now the bear's head is on my heroic mantle!" America boasted.

England scoffed. "I don't know why, but I think you're lying."

"The hero always tells the truth!" Alfred had that indignant look on his face again.

"Yeah, yeah," the blond gentleman sighed.

The Gophers trudged along through the forest. Taiwan was way ahead of any of the other Gophers, sagging dejectedly, only glancing up at the path ahead.

"Taiwan!" Japan called out to her. He dashed forward to where she was and asked, "May I walk with you?"

"No," she answered, averting his gaze.

Japan tentatively placed his next question. "Is this about the diary?"

Mei quickened her pace until she was far away from him.

Kiku gazed after her wistfully. _If only she'd talk to me about it._

The Bass were making progress, as well.

"Look! Blueberries!" Italy cried, pointing to the rotund fruits on a bush.

"Nein, Italy, they might be poisonous!" Germany cautioned, albeit too late. Feliciano was contentedly plucking blueberries off the bush.

Turkey growled, "She is definitely the next one to leave."

"Who?" Japan questioned, though he had a hunch as to who it might be.

"Taiwan, of course," Turkey answered with a scowl. "She dumped Spain's turtle cage in my bed!"

This got Spain's attention. "Are any of them lost? Did they get hurt?"

"Your _turtles _are fine, you dimwit," Turkey snapped at him. "It's _me _who isn't. I got bitten about a hundred times in one night! You should be grateful I even put those disgusting creatures back in the cage for you!"

"Las tortugas no son asquerosas," Antonio insisted with a pout. "Turtles aren't disgusting! They're cute!"

"Anyways," continued Turkey, shaking his head. "Right after our next loss, Taiwan is out of here!"

"But you read her diary aloud to most of the world," Kiku objected.

Turkey whirled around, causing the Gophers behind him to bump into one another. "So?"

"You have to admit, that was pretty mean," Kiku said.

"I don't care, and neither should you, Japan," growled Turkey. "She is going down." He turned and strode off.

"Thos blueberries were delicious!" Italy exclaimed, patting his full stomach. He had rested his back against a tree to eat his blueberries, and of course, Germany had been forced to sit down with him.

Ludwig shook his head and thought, _He's probably going to get a stomachache now. Then I'll have to take care of him, again. Mein gott! _Suddenly, something struck him. The rest of the Bass were nowhere in sight! He stood and surveyed the entire area, then started calling out. "Killer Bass, where are you?" His voice echoed through the forest, yet there was no reply.

"Germany?" Feli's soft, amber-colored eyes widened in fear. "Are we lost, Germany?"

Germany shushed him. "Don't panic," he instructed his small friend. "We will get back to them, I promise you." But even he wasn't sure of it himself. They both started yelling for the Bass.

The Gophers had reached their campsite.

America laughed. "Where's the food? Really funny, Canada."

"Mr. America, this is a survival challenge," Japan told him.

"I don't get it," Alfred said quizzically.

"Forget it, Japan," Arthur said. "He's too dumb."

"I wonder if there are any bears around today," Alfred said. "Wouldn't it be funny if the hero made some bear sounds and then they came?"

"Don't even think about it," Arthur warned, giving "the hero" a dangerous stare.

"Raaawwrrr!" roared America. "Raaawwrr! I'm a bear!"

"Knock it off!" shouted England, swatting America on the arm. America swatted him back, and the usual fight began.

"Stop it, both of you. I'm trying to read the instructions on the map," Turkey demanded. They didn't pay him the slightest attention.

_This is where I come in, _thought France. "Ohonhonhonhon~ It looks like sexual tensions are at an all-time high between you two." They stopped immediately.

"It says we're supposed to find our own food," Turkey read aloud. He glanced around. "I don't see any food."

"I think they mean that we should find our own food in the woods," Japan speculated.

"Oh! Leave that to the hero, then!" A fire lit up in America's cerulean eyes. "I'll find lots of burgers for everyone to eat!"

"Um…" A sweat drop slid down Japan's head. "I don't think hamburgers can be found in the woods…" But Alfred had already headed off.

Germany and Italy were still wandering around in the woods. Or, more accurately, Germany was piggybacking Italy through the woods.

"Germany, are we really lost?" Feliciano had a worried expression on his face in place of his usual happy-go-lucky expression.

"Nein, Italy, for the hundredth time, we're not lost!" Ludwig was finding it hard to think straight with Feli's constant pestering. "Now, would you please stop asking?"

"B-but, I have to ask, Germany! Because if we don't find our way back, we'll be stranded here with no pasta and scary animals all around us!" It was clear that Italy was going into panic mode.

"I said I'd get us back to the others, didn't I?" Germany was getting increasingly agitated.

"Si, you did, but what if you can't? Then we'll be eaten by bears and they'll make us into pasta!"

"That does it!" Ludwig pushed Feliciano off his back. "Either you're going to shut up and act professional or I'm going to leave you here by yourself and let you try to find your way back on your own!"

"No! I don't want to be left alone! Please, Germany, don't leave me!" Italy pleaded, clasping his hands together.

"Then will you be quiet?" Germany asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Si, si, I'll do anything, just don't leave me by myself!" Tears streamed down Italy's cheeks.

"Alright." Ludwig sighed and slung Feli across his back again, continuing the journey.

The Gophers had already settled down at their campsite, built their campfire, and pitched their tent.

"Ugh…I'm so hungry," France moaned.

"Oh, can it, frog," England replied tiredly. But his growling stomach belied his own hunger.

America walked out of the bushes with food to save them all. "No burgers," he announced. "But the hero did catch some fish!" He held the three fat trout aloft.

"I can make sashimi," offered Japan, drawing a filet knife out and tying a knotted rope around his head.

"Um, thank you, Japan, but I think I'd rather eat my fish fried," England said. "If only I had some chips to go with it…"

"How do you even know how to fish?" asked Turkey. He'd always thought America was just a stupid guy with a big ego. Then again, he didn't know America all that well.

"Every hero knows how to fish!" exclaimed Alfred. "I caught a shark once, too! It bit me in the ass, but then I sent him flying with a falcon punch! He knew better than to mess with the hero after that!" He laughed his annoying "HAHAHAHA!" laugh.

"Do you have a scar from when you got bitten?" inquired Francis with a sly smile on his face.

"No, America, don't-" Arthur was too late. The "hero" had already pulled down his boxers. England just turned right around and hit France upside the head. "now look what you made him do! There are women here, you know!"

Seychelles stammered, "A-America, c-could you put your pants up?"

"Yeah, sure thing," America said, and pulled his boxers and pants up.

"That's a nice ass you have there." France grinned. He had been looking even when England was beating him up.

"It's a hero's ass," Alfred agreed. "Of course it would be nice."

In the woods, Italy was crying his heart out again. It was dark already, and he and Germany hadn't been able to find the Bass yet.

"Italy! Stop it, NOW!" Germany's patience was once more at its limit.

"No! I don't want to die! I don't want to die!" The hysterical Italian wiped his tears on Ludwig's tank top.

"Why do I even care for you?" In a sudden fit of rage, Ludwig dropped his weak friend hard on the ground. "All you do is drag me down! It's because of your complaining that we haven't been able to find our way back yet!"

"That's all I am to you?" Feliciano's voice was soft suddenly. "I'm just a burden who cries and drags you down, Germany?"

Germany hesitated. He didn't want to permanently hurt his best friend's feelings, but Feli had to be taught a lesson. "Yes! You need to stop being useless all the time!"

Tears welled up in Italy's amber eyes. "I…so that's what you think of me, then. That's what you thought from the start. Well, when we get back to the Bass, we won't be friends anymore. We were never friends, anyway." He stood and started walking off by himself.

Germany sighed deeply and trudged after Italy. He'd seen this coming.

The rest of the Bass had finished pitching their tent.

"What's for dinner, woman? The awesome me is starving," Prussia asked Hungary.

"Ugh. You're so rude," Eliza groaned. "Can't you ask nicely?"

"I think years of hanging around the aristocrat has made you too polite." Gilbert smirked.

"It has not!" Hungary socked Prussia in the arm.

"Hey, look what I found-aru~" China was cradling the most adorable little bunny in his arms.

"I've never had rabbit stew before," Russia said. He drew out his pickaxe.

"No-aru~ This is my new pet! I'm calling him Tò. That is Chinese for 'rabbit', by the way-aru~" Wang Yao held the animal away from Ivan.

"You couldn't find any food?" questioned Elizabeta. "I guess we'll have to eat grubs and berries for dinner. Does that answer your question, Gil?" She turned to face her childhood friend.

Prussia muttered something under his breath, then asked, "Where are West and Ita?"

"It's a tree with a fork in it. That's good, right?" Italy bent down to examine the fork lodged in a tree trunk.

"Nein," said Germany. "That is _not_ good. We saw that same tree two hours ago. We just walked in a gigantic circle!" He held his head in his hands.

Feliciano had never seen his friend so defeated.

_Nein,_ resolved Ludwig. _I must not crack under pressure. Right now, we should find somewhere safe to stay the night. _"Come on," he ordered, dragging Feli behind him to a nearby cave. "We'll be safe here, at least for tonight," he assured Italy.

A bat flew around the cave, screeching awfully. Italy screamed and huddled in a small ball. "We're going to die here, Germany. We're really, really going to die here."

"Nice job, America," Japan praised. The Gophers had their food, shelter, and fire ready.

"Is it good, or is it good?" America shouted, jabbing a thumb at himself proudly.

"Don't get more of a swelled head or your head will droop to one side," England teased.

"I'm curious, though," Japan said. "Did you really fight a bear once, Mr. America?"

"Oh, yeah," answered Alfred, and he began his tale. "I was out in the woods when I came upon him. I tell ya, he was ten feet high! Seriously, no kidding, brah! And he roared his terrible roar." He made an exaggerated bear roar. "I grabbed my shotgun. I knew it was either him or me. Nothing personal, just the law of the wild. And then…BAM!" He pantomimed pulling a trigger. "One shot from the hero was all it took to kill him dead! Now his head hangs on my heroic mantle."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. There's no way you took down a ten-foot bear." He looked around. "Hey, has anyone seen Spain?"

"He said he had to go to the bathroom," Japan recalled. "But that was over an hour ago. Spain! Spain!" There was no reply.

"Spain, where are you?" America hollered at the top of his lungs. A rustle came from a nearby bush. "Oh, great, man," Alfred said, striding over. "We thought we'd lost you for a sec…holy shit!"

It wasn't Spain. It was a grizzly bear, primed and ready to attack.

"Aaaahhh!" America screamed. "We're all gonna die! We're gonna get eaten alive by a bear!" He dashed in circles around the rest of his team. "Oh, the horror! Somebody help us! This is just too scary!" Turkey stuck a foot out and tripped him. He was just getting too annoying.

"The trees! Climb into the trees!" Turkey commanded.

The Bass were seated around their campfire.

"Hey, you guys wanna hear an awesome scary story?" asked Prussia, grinning widely.

"Ooh, scary stories were made in South Korea, da-ze! Tell it!" South Korea jumped up and down eagerly.

"Are you sure? Because the story I'm thinking of his pretty hardcore," Gilbert cautioned.

"Yeah, we're so scared," Hungary said, rolling her eyes.

"Alright, but don't say the awesome me didn't warn you." Gilbert took a theatrical breath and began his story. "One night, a lot like this one. So suddenly, they heard this tap-tap-tapping on the side of the car. The girl started to freak out, and by this time, even the guy was getting a bit scared. So he turned the car on and he stepped on it. When they got back at the girl's house, she opened the door and screamed. Because there, hanging from the door handle, was the bloody hook. They say that this killer is still alive, wandering these very woods. He could be just about anywhere, really. Maybe even right…HERE!" At this, he whisked out a shiny metal hook.

Everyone screamed (except for Russia). Prussia's laughter was out of control. "Kesesese! Kesesesese!"

"Gil!" Eliza came over, her arms crossed. "That was so not funny!"

"What are you talking about? That was awesome! I just wish it was all on camera!" Prussia's red eyes sparkled with delight.

"You are so immature," Hungary said, shaking her head. "Does your brother even like you?"

"Of course West likes the awesome me!" Gilbert assured her indignantly. There was a howl in the woods, and Hungary gasped, unconsciously leaning onto Prussia's chest. He smiled.

The Gophers had all gotten up the tree.

"What do we do now?" England asked. Everyone looked at Turkey for guidance.

"Why are you looking at me?" Turkey demanded.

"It was _your_ idea to climb the tree," Taiwan pointed out.

"Well, why don't you ask the bear-hunting expert? Hey, America, what now?" turkey called up to the "hero".

"How should I know?" was the reply.

"You said you killed a bear," Seychelles reminded him.

"I…was lying!" Alfred confessed.

"This is all your fault!" Arthur accused. "If you hadn't been growling like that, we never would've attracted him to our site!"

"Well, excuse the hero for living!" yelled America. He banged his head into the trunk in anguish.

"Hey, calm down, Mr. England," chided Kiku. "America _did_ bring us all that fish." He gestured below him at the fish cooking over the campfire.

The bear was sniffing the trout.

"Hey, lay off our fish!" Turkey called down to the bear.

"It's probably already eaten Spain!" Ukraine was in hysterics.

"Then it shouldn't be hungry anymore," Turkey speculated. When Japan and Taiwan turned to him in shock, he shrugged and asked, "What? This is survival of the fittest."

The branch under Ukraine snapped from her weight. She hit the ground and got up, rubbing her head. She came face to face with the bear, who snarled bestially. Everyone up in the tree gasped.

"She's going to die!" America exclaimed.

Yekaterina backed away until she was cornered against a tree. "N-nice bear," she stuttered. "Aaaaahhhh! Russia, help me! Please!" She shielded herself the best she could.

"Run, Ukraine!" the countries in the tree advised.

Then the most amazing thing happened. The bear gave a laugh. "Fusososo…are you okay?"

_Did the bear just ask me a question?_ wondered Ukraine.

The other nations looked at each other in surprise. As they watched from up in the tree, the bear took off its head and revealed Spain's head. He was grinning widely.

"Oh my god, not even the hero saw that coming!" Alfred slid down on the tree trunk.

"I'm very confused right now," said Yekaterina.

"Why did you do that, Spain?" inquired Taiwan.

"I was practicing my part for the new play I'm going to be in! It's called 'El Oso', or 'The Bear.'" The Spaniard chuckled heartily. "Pretty convincing, right?"

In the Bass' tent, South Korea hadn't slept a wink. He had to go to the bathroom really bad.

"What's wrong?" asked Wang Yao. Apparently, he was restless that night, as well. "Have to use the bathroom?"

"Like crazy, da-ze," South Korea answered. "But I'm too scared to leave the tent."

"That's why I used this," said China proudly, waving a bottle filled with yellow liquid in the air.

_I think I'll go outside,_ resolved South Korea. He cautiously stepped out of the tent, only to be attacked by a colony of bats. He dodged most of them, but one latched onto his face, obstructing his vision. He flailed around in front of the campfire, trying to shake it off.

South Korea and the single bat on his face threw a creepy shadow on the side of the Bass' tent. Almost everyone inside gasped, thinking it was a terrible monster coming to attack them all.

Outside, the bat detached itself from South Korea's face. He then stumbled over a hot coal by the campfire. The coal flipped through the air and landed on the tent, making it catch fire and turn to ashes in a matter of seconds. The Bass shot South Korea a death glare. He chuckled nervously.

"These fish are _delicioso," _said Spain in between bites of trout. A grizzly bear padded out of the bushes and sniffed at Antonio. He turned to it and exclaimed, "That costume is _really_ good. I mean, I thought mine was good, but that one is _really_ good. Bien hecho. Good job."

Kiku walked up and agreed, "Hai, that costume is very realistic. It is a lot better than some of the cosplays I see. Maybe I should make an anime about a bear and ask this cosplayer to star in it."

America gave the bear a friendly bop on the nose. "We know you're not a bear, dude. Quit bustin' our balls." The bear roared ferociously in response.

"Um, I don't know, America," said Mei uncertainly. "This one looks kind of…real."

Every Gopher except for America and Spain backed away from the bear.

"Aw, c'mon, guys," the "hero" said. "They're just trying to fool the hero twice! This is _not_ a real bear, and the hero is gonna prove it to you!" He grabbed hold of the bear's head and yanked hard. A tuft of fur came off in his hand. He inspected it closely, then admitted, "It _does_ look kinda real…"

The bear patted its head and felt a bald spot where America had yanked its fur off. Then it stood up on its hind legs and roared viciously, blowing Alfred's hair straight back, including his Nantucket curl.

"Yep," confirmed America. "That's a real bear."

The bear snatched its fur back from America and placed it back where it belonged. A second later, Alfred fled for his life, followed closely by the rest of the Gophers.

"Great, that's just great, South Korea." Hungary's voice was rising as she stood in the middle of what used to be the Bass' tent. "Now we have nowhere to sleep!"

"Kesesese…" Prussia snickered. "You need to relax, Hungary. I sleep outside all the time! This is gonna be awesome!"

"Awesome?" shouted Eliza. "Awesome? Things could not possibly get worse!" Right after she finished her sentence, she felt a plop of water on her head. A second later, rain started pouring down. She scowled and screamed out in frustration.

Italy was huddled against Germany in the cave. He was scared out of his wits, and it was at times like these that he needed Ludwig the most.

The Gophers were back up in the tree, the bear pacing the ground beneath them.

Russia held up a huge leaf for all of the Bass to sit under.

It was an awful night, but all of them got through it.

Japan woke up early the next morning and stretched his back. "I think it's safe now. The bear's gone," he announced to the rest of the team.

Taiwan lifted a soggy piece of paper up. "And the map," she groaned.

In the cave, Germany and Italy were just waking up.

"Is it morning yet, Germany?" Italy asked.

"Yes," Ludwig replied.

"I think that was the worst night of my life," said Feli. "It was even worse than that night when I looked in the pantry and I couldn't find a single strand of pasta!" He didn't notice that Germany was pointing at something outside the cave.

Feliciano finally noticed when there came an angry roar. The bear which the Gophers had encountered did not take kindly to intruders in its cave.

"Run, Italy," instructed Germany. He covered Italy as he made a dash for it, then ran after Italy himself. Luckily, the bear opted not to pursue them. Germany was tough, but he was not sure if he could take on a fully-grown bear.

The other Bass were still asleep, every single one of them. Eliza was passed out comfortably on top of Gilbert's chest. She gave a contented sigh as she stirred awake. Prussia also opened an eye.

"Morning, sunshine."

Hungary gasped. "Oh, my gosh," she cried, hopping up. "Eww! You were cuddling me!"

"The awesome me was calmly lying on my back and trying to catch some sleep. _You_ were snuggling up to me," countered Prussia.

"You are such a ruffian," she growled.

"The awesome me has been called worse."

Hungary cried out in exasperation and stormed off.

When all of the Bass had been roused from their slumber, they sprinted back to where Cuba, Kumajirou and Canada were waiting for them.

"We're the first ones back!" Hungary realized with excitement.

"Oh, no!" Turkey exclaimed when he caught sight of the Bass. "They beat us here! This is all your fault, with your stupid bear sounds!" He shoved America roughly.

"No one messes with the hero!" Alfred pulled back a fist and was about to fight back when Cuba interrupted.

"Not so fast, you haven't lost yet, Gophers. The Bass are still missing a few members."

"West and Ita! We have to go look for them!" Prussia looked worried.

Right on cue, Germany and Italy arrived on the scene. "We made it here!" Italy announced. "We got so lost and there was this huge bear and we had to run and it was so scary!"

Ludwig turned to his best friend, looking him straight in the eyes. "I'm sorry I said all those mean things to you. I was just so angry and frustrated. I didn't mean it."

Italy's face was accentuated by his bright smile. He gave Germany a big hug, though he couldn't reach all the way around his muscular friend. Germany slowly but surely hugged him back.

"Good going, West and Ita," muttered Prussia. He didn't look happy. "You just lost us the challenge!"

"Killer Bass," said Cuba. "One of you is going home. As for the Gophers, you're going on an all-expense-paid trip to…the tuck shop!" The Gophers raised a cheer and dashed off.

Italy was still hugging Germany, but he stopped when he noticed the Bass glaring at the two of them.

America was enjoying snacks while he and the other Gophers soaked in the hot tub they'd built. "These chips are so good! Woohoo! The hero's team rules!" He pumped a fist in the air.

The elimination ceremony was in progress.

"Alright, you've all cast your votes," said Cuba. "Since you're all tired, I'll throw your marshmallows to you just this once."

"Hungary." She smiled, but that smile quickly turned into a frown when Prussia was called next.

"China." He smiled like Hungary, but the same thing happened to him when Russia and South Korea were called.

"Hong Kong."

"Sealand."

"The final marshmallow of the evening." Italy clung to Germany with all the strength in his frail arms.

"Germany."

"Nein," denied Ludwig, getting up. "Not Italy! Not him!" He glared at Prussia, then bit his lip so hard that it bled. He held Feliciano at arm's length and swore, "I will win this for you. I will split the money with you at the end, then you can buy all the pasta you want with it!"

"Pinky swear?" asked Italy with tears in his eyes. He held out his pinky.

"Pinky swear," Germany replied, wrapping his own pinky around Italy's.

And so, Feli departed on the Boat of Losers, sobbing intensely. Canada wiped tears from his eyes at such a sad elimination. He hated to see Germany and Italy separated.

Hungary was sitting out on the porch of the girls' cabin when Prussia came. "What do you want now?" she demanded.

"The awesome me just wanted to apologize for scaring you," Gilbert said.

"I was _not_ scared," Eliza denied. "It was completely circumstantial. And there's no such thing as a hook-man."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Prussia replied. "Or are you?" He drew out the same hook.

Hungary screamed, then stifled herself. "Ugh! I _hate _you!" she yelled, leaving.

"She so doesn't hate me," said Prussia, watching her go, amusement in his red eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

Germany was sitting on the Dock of Shame, back turned to all the Bass. He couldn't get over the fact that Italy had been voted off. He couldn't forgive his team for doing such a cruel thing.

_I'll avenge you, Italy, _he silently pledged, and strode over to join the others. He still kept his back turned to them.

"West?" Prussia said. "Are you okay?" He knew that Germany and Italy were very close and that his brother would be hurt if his best friend were to get voted off, but it had to be done. As far as the competition was concerned, Italy was just dead weight.

Germany did not utter a single word in reply.

Hungary stood as the Gophers approached. "What do you want?" she demanded. "Here to rub it in?"

Japan said, "Well, actually, we got some extra dessert after our tuck shop party. We thought you might want it?" Spain was holding a piece of pink cake with icing flowers and chocolate bunnies on top.

"So what, you're just being nice?" Eliza was rightfully suspicious.

"Okay," admitted Taiwan. "France was trying to rape everyone, so we came out here and locked him in there to escape from him."

Antonio bore the cake aloft, offering it to Hungary. "Here you go, señorita hermosa, pretty lady," he said.

"Eww, no!" screamed Hungary. She made like she was about to swat the cake away, then stopped herself. "Um…I mean, no thanks," she amended, flustered. "I'm good."

"What, are you on a diet or something?" Gilbert was about to laugh his head off.

"No, I just don't like pink cake, okay?" Eliza crossed her arms and looked away.

Spain then crossed over to China and held the cake out to him. When Wang Yao caught sight of the chocolate bunnies, he yelled, "No!" and swatted the plate the cake was resting on, making it splatter on the ground.

"You're four thousand years old, China," scolded England. "These are just chocolate bunnies." He bent down and picked one up, then took a bite.

China winced as the bunny's head was bitten off. "Pl-please stop, Opium," he begged. "I can't stand to see cute animals get hurt, chocolate or not!"

Russia laid a hand on Wang Yao's shoulder. "You're like me around Belarus right now," he laughed.

"Well, at least there's something that Russia's afraid of," sighed China. "A little dose of fear once in a while is good for the mind."

"That's really lame," jeered Prussia. "Belarus is just another country! How bad could she be?" His laughter ceased abruptly when Ivan shot him a dangerous glare.

"I'm afraid of being covered by los insectos. Those pesky insects always find a way to eat my tomatoes!" Antonio shuddered at the thought of finding all the tomatoes in his garden chewed to a pulp by insects.

"I'm scared of things patented in other countries, da-ze. Because then I can't claim them as my own, da-ze," said South Korea seriously. The other nations tried not to burst out laughing.

"I'm scared of sumo wrestlers," Turkey admitted. He turned to Japan. "No offense."

"Oh, no, I understand," replied Kiku. "They are not the most relaxing thing to look at."

"My worst fear is being buried alive," said Taiwan. "I'm very claustrophobic."

"Action movies," said Ukraine. "They are too violent."

"Sinking in a ship," said England. "That happened a few times back when I was a pirate."

"I'm scared of sinking, too," seconded Sealand.

"HAHAHAHA! The hero isn't scared of anything!"

Everyone stared at America until he gave in.

"Okay, okay. I'm scared of hamburgers that aren't made how I ordered them."

"Firecrackers that won't light," muttered Hong Kong.

"France," said Seychelles. "I am always on guard around him."

France had managed to slip out of the locked cabin and happened to overhear their discussion on his way to join them. He came and took a seat. "Bad haircuts and ugly clothing," he said.

"I bet I can guess what West's fear is," said Prussia, glancing sideways at his younger brother, who was still shunning them. "Watching Italy get hurt." Germany's head lifted a little to show that this was indeed the case.

"I am afraid of mimes," said Japan quietly. "They are like bad cosplays, only ten times worse!"

"I'm not really afraid of anything," Hungary announced proudly.

"Yeah, right," snickered Gilbert.

"Then what exactly is _your_ fear, Gil?" Eliza had him cornered, and he knew it. Everyone was looking at him expectantly.

Gilbert cursed under his breath, then whispered in a voice barely audible enough to be heard, "H-Hungary's frying pan."

"I didn't quite get that," said England, a smile on his face. "Say again?"

"He said Hungary's frying pan," Japan told England.

"I love my frying pan!" Hungary cried. "I can use it to cook and to whack…"

Prussia covered his ears. "Don't mention that un-awesome thing!"

"Miss Hungary, you have to be afraid of something," said Kiku. "Please tell us."

"No, there's nothing I'm afraid of," Eliza repeated.

"That's not what she said last night," said Prussia, referring to how Eliza had freaked out when he'd told his scary story.

"Did you ever consider that I was just humoring you and your stupid story?" Hungary asked.

"Yeah, sure, sure," said Prussia. But his face told the real story.

The next morning, the countries were seated in the mess hall, eating breakfast, when Cuba, Canada, and Kumajirou entered. Everyone looked up.

"Today's challenge is a game called 'Phobia Factor!'" Cuba had a glint in his eye that none of the campers liked. "Prepare to face your worst fears!"

Frankly, Canada was worried about this challenge. He was reluctant to give his friends a scare. Of course, they couldn't see him, but he still considered them his friends.

"Now for our first victims," announced Cuba, taking a note card from Canada.

"Are you sure about this?" Matthew asked.

Cuba returned, "What do you mean? _You're _the one who has to be sure about it. These are _your_ challenges, _your_ ideas."

_No,_ thought Matthew. _He's right. I need to make it fair, so they'll have to participate in every challenge in the original series. I'm sorry, guys._

"Alright," said Cuba, seeing the new determination in his friend's blue eyes. He read off the note card. "Turkey! Go to the stage. It's sumo time!" Turkey spat out the water he had in his mouth. Cuba continued, "Taiwan, to the beach…and a few tons of sand." Mei gasped loudly.

"Wait, how do they know our fears?" Ukraine questioned, puzzled.

Canada felt rotten for spying on his friends. No one had known he was there, eavesdropping on their conversation about their fears.

Mei thought for a second, then the realization hit her. "Canada," she said. "He must have been there last night, listening to us."

The Gophers stepped outside to find a whole inflatable pool filled with insects of all shapes and sizes. Spain tried to compose himself. He thought, _Think of happy things. Think of Romano when he was a child. _He shut his eyes tight and jumped into the pool. The bugs covered him from head to toe, but a moment later, he resurfaced. He was okay, apparently. The Gophers cheered. They had scored a point!

France sat in a cabin by himself, waiting for Cuba. Sure enough, the big Cuban came in, handed him a wig which looked suspiciously like England's hairdo and a set of England's military outfit (which he had stolen), and instructed France to put them on. Francis turned green just by looking at the items. _They're so ugly…they're so plain…they're so tacky!_ This string of thoughts repeated over and over in his mind, but he grudgingly overcame them and changed into the wig and the outfit.

Sealand and England were forced to board a leaky rowboat that looked like it had been constructed by a hapless kindergartener. Kumajirou was waiting for them on the boat. He rowed them out, and the rowboat tipped dangerously forward. England and Sealand both screamed and clung to the sides of the boat for dear life.

Germany was in the bathroom. When he got done with his business and exited the stall, he recoiled, because there, hanging from the ceiling was a lifelike Italy figurine with bloody cuts all over its body. _It's just a figurine, _he kept reminding himself. Finally, it became too hard to process what was in front of him. He keeled over, straight into the toilet bowl.

The Gophers looked on as Seychelles loosed a high-pitched scream and dashed off, followed closely by Cuba in a blonde wig, a rich blue cloak, and red pants. Turkey facepalmed.

Turkey was standing on the stage, shaking down to his shoes. On the other end of the stage stood a gigantic, growling sumo wrestler. He charged at Turkey, roaring barbarically. Turkey ducked and covered his head. The sumo hit him and bounced off the stage, into the horizon. The Gophers had scored their second point.

England and Sealand's voices rose in volume even more as a piece of wood snapped off the rowboat.

China was forced to sit on a stump in the woods by himself and watch bunnies being hunted down and eaten by bears right in front of his eyes. "No…no, not that one!" he cried as a bear delivered a crushing bite to a rabbit's head. He gawked in horror as the head was ravenously devoured, followed in rapid succession by the body and bushy little tail. Tears streamed down Wang Yao's face, but he forced himself to look. If he chickened out now, his team could very well lose the challenge.

On the beach, Taiwan climbed into a glass case that was just big enough to accommodate her. There was a small hatch that could be slid open and closed on the lid of the case. The case was then lowered into a box-shaped hole in the sand which Cuba had dug previously.

As Cuba filled the hole up again, Japan assured Taiwan, "There is enough air for an hour. You only need to do five minutes. You will be fine." He slid Mei a walkie-talkie through the hatch. "I will be listening the whole time," he promised her with a smile. "Just call for me if you panic and I will dig you up right away."

"Goodbye, cruel world," Mei called as the hatch was slid closed. Then she was completely buried.

South Korea stood on the stage, the other countries gathered around to watch him. He stared, wide-eyed, at the shiny new Nissan parked in front of him. Cuba had purposely spray-painted "Patented in Japan" in big red letters on the side of the vehicle.

"C'mon, man, you can do this," Prussia encouraged.

"It's just like any other car!" Hungary goaded him on. "Think of it as a Hyundai or something and get behind the wheel!"

"But it didn't originate in South Korea! It's Japanese-patented, da-ze!" South Korea backed away from the car even further.

"We need this point, South Korea! Suck it up!" Eliza commanded.

South Korea took a deep breath, then slowly approached the car, one foot behind the other. He tentatively reached out and poked the door handle on the driver's side, then grabbed it. He flung the door open quickly and forced his legs to guide him into the driver's seat. The Bass cheered. They had earned their first point.

Kiku sat beside the spot where Taiwan was buried, glancing at the timer on top of the sand. It had just hit the three-minute mark. "Are you okay?" he inquired into his walkie-talkie. "Only three more minutes."

"And then you'll dig me out, right?" Taiwan wanted to confirm.

"Do not worry, I will not go anywhere, I promise."

"I…I need some kind of distraction," pleaded Mei from inside the case. "Tell me a story. Um…I'm actually a bit curious about why you hate mimes so much."

Japan stood, sighing. He did not like to recount his first encounter with his worst fear. "When I was four, my mother took me to an anime convention. There were many good cosplays, such as Naruto and Bleach. I was so distracted by all of the cosplays that I lost my mother for a minute. I called out for her, but when I turned, all I could see was this horrible white face with black lips pretending to be me! I screamed and tried to run, but every time I turned around, he was there, imitating my running and screaming! It was the worst cosplay I had ever seen." As he talked, Japan didn't notice the hand reaching out to tap his shoulder. He turned when he felt the tap and came face-to-face with his worst fear! He dropped the walkie-talkie in the sand and took off as fast as his legs could carry him. The mime mirrored his actions, dashing after him.

"Kiku?" squawked the walkie-talkie in the sand. There were only about two minutes left until Taiwan was supposed to be dug out.

The Gophers watched Japan flee from his mortal fear.

"Just talk to him, sheesh," Cuba instructed through a megaphone. "Just tell him to go away!" He looked at his watch. "Okay, then, we've got two minutes before Taiwan's done. Ukraine, you're up!"

Yekaterina followed Cuba into the woods, where there was a single stool set in front of a projection screen. She took a seat and braced herself for all the violence of the action movie.

"This is a very good movie," Cuba told her. "It's called '300.'" He hit 'Play', and the slaughter and shrieks began. Then he left her to watch the movie by herself.

Kiku was back on the beach, checking around for the mime. He looked one way, then the other, and saw the mime right next to him. "Ah!" he exclaimed. He sprinted off again, with the mime in hot pursuit. Then he skidded to a stop, and the mime did, as well. The mime started pantomiming climbing a wall.

"There is no wall there!" Japan informed him. "Please stop that!" The mime did not stop, and Kiku started looking around for other options. He caught sight of the water and got an idea.

"Oh, no," Gilbert stuttered. "Not _that._" The Bass were watching him back away from the frying pan in Hungary's hand.

"Come on," said Hungary. "It's shiny. It's new. There's nothing to be afraid of." She held the frying pan out to him. He jumped a good two meters back.

"All you have to do is get it from her," Cuba said.

"B-but it's so _deadly_," protested Prussia, eyeing the metal like a piece of moldy cheese.

Eliza reached out and grabbed Gilbert's hand. "You can do this." Her green eyes met with his red ones.

For some reason, this was just the thing that Prussia needed. He stretched out his fingers and closed them around the frying pan. Then he pulled it out of Hungary's grasp. The Bass pumped their fists in the air in joy. The teams were tied now.

Hungary was so happy, she hugged Prussia tightly. "Gilbert, you're awesome!" she praised.

"I-I did it! The awesome me did it!" Prussia stared in disbelief at the frying pan in his hand.

Hungary pressed even more into the hug, then realized what she was doing and let go. The rest of the team came to congratulate Prussia. He grinned smugly and hoisted the frying pan high into the air.

Japan raced down the Dock of Shame, leaping off into the water below. The mime followed him down the dock, but stopped at the edge of it.

"You cannot swim, can you?" Kiku asked the mime from the water.

The mime took a deep breath and made like he was going to dive in.

"Wait, stop!" Japan cried. "Your makeup will run!"

The mime straightened and gave a few solemn nods, then trudged back, defeated.

Japan's smile shone bright and proud. He had earned the Gophers another point, putting them in the lead again.

"Nicely played, Japan," Cuba admitted. "But I don't think it's going too well for Hong Kong."

In his hand, Cuba held a small remote control. The device controlled a personal rain cloud. The cloud would move when Cuba used the joystick on his remote. He operated it to go right above the chair which Hong Kong was seated in, trying to light his fireworks. He pressed another button, and the rain cloud started showering precipitation down on Hong Kong and his fireworks, making them impossible to light. Hong Kong looked up in alarm and started fleeing from the rain cloud, but it followed him everywhere so that he wouldn't be able to light his fireworks anywhere. That's when Hong Kong lost his calm composure and started screaming. The thought of defective fireworks was enough to do that to him.

The timer on the sand had reached zero.

"Do you think we've forgotten something?" Japan questioned Cuba as Cuba sat in a chair, having fun with the rain cloud.

"I don't think we've forgotten anything," replied Cuba detachedly. He laughed and said, "Watch this. I'm going to completely soak him and his fireworks. He won't get off easy this time."

"Time?" repeated Japan. "Oh! Timer! Taiwan!" He took off to rescue her from her sandy prison.

China was talking to himself. "You can do this, Wang Yao." He glanced at his watch. "Only four hours and fifteen minutes left." He shrieked as another bunny tail landed at his feet.

Ukraine had finished the movie, but by the time she had, she was covered in dirt and blood. She'd dug her nails into her skin every time she'd seen a limb fly off. That explained the blood. Then she'd tried to cover her whole body up and protect herself from the violence by rolling around on the ground. That explained the dirt. She looked absolutely horrific. She stood and wandered off into the woods, looking for someone, anyone, to ease her mind and her pain.

"Taiwan! You did it!" exclaimed Kiku as he shoveled the last inch of sand off of the glass case. She frowned, opened the hatch, and chucked her walkie-talkie at his head for abandoning her. The Gophers had won yet another point, making their total of four points.

England and Sealand crawled back onto shore, breathing heavily. "We made it," they gasped simultaneously, kissing the sweet earth. That was one point for the Gophers and one for the Bass.

America arrived in the mess hall and approached the counter where they ordered food. He knew Canada was in there because he could see Kumajirou in the kitchen. "Hey, bro," he called in. "I want a hamburger with cheese, ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise. No veggies."

Canada got right to work cooking the patties. Kumajirou laid out the buns.

"Put veggies in it," Canada instructed Kumajirou, wincing. Matthew knew how scared his brother would be if his burgers weren't made right, but he was doing it for the challenge.

The hamburger was done, so Canada slipped it into a paper wrap and wrapped it up. He put it out on the counter for America to pick up. He covered his ears and watched his brother, waiting for the scream. Sure enough, it came immediately after Alfred tore open the wrap. A second after that, the hamburger landed on the ground with a loud SPLAT! The "hero" then proceeded to flee from the wretched thing. No points for that.

Ukraine wandered out into the clearing that China was in. China caught sight of the horrible creature smeared in dirt and blood and gave a start, speeding out of the woods.

_I did it, _thought France as he looked in the mirror in the outhouse. _I made it through the whole day._ Feeling proud of himself, he yanked off the Iggy wig, exposing his wavy, shoulder-length blond hair. He slipped off England's clothes and put on his own. He twirled around. _I'd almost forgotten how beautiful I am. _Another point for the Gophers.

"Alright," said Cuba. "Russia, for your challenge, you need to get into this cage for three minutes with Belarus."

Belarus had willingly come with Cuba to participate in the challenge when she was told that she would get three minutes in a cage with her big brother. She drooled hungrily, eyeing Ivan. He backed away slowly, hands in front of him.

"Get in the cage, man," said Prussia. The tall Russian shook his head and curled up in a ball.

"We really need this point or we're going to lose!" agreed Hungary.

"Actually, you can't possibly win. We're too far ahead," England told them.

"Not necessarily," Cuba interrupted. "We have one more challenge set up."

"Who?" Eliza demanded. "It can't be me. I didn't…"

"You didn't have to," said Cuba. "Canada saw how you reacted to the pink cake.

"Let's make this interesting," he continued. "I'll give you triple points if you can complete it."

Hungary stared in horror up at the hundred-foot-tall diving board positioned above a vat of pink cake. Cuba stirred the cake with an oar.

Gilbert couldn't resist poking fun at his childhood friend. "You're afraid of cake?"

"Shut up!" Eliza snapped. "Only the pink kind. It's so _afeminite._"

"You can face your fear and dive straight into this pool of jelly…or, let your team lose yet another challenge." Cuba gave Hungary her options.

Hungary sighed and started climbing up the ladder without another word.

As Hungary climbed, Taiwan had an idea. It was a bit mean, but it would discourage Hungary from jumping for sure. "Look at how pink it is," she called. "It's as pink as my _girly_ dress. It's as pink as the sakura in the spring, the season of love. It's as pink as a frilly pillow that a princess wearing pink sleeps on!"

"Y-you're not going to make me quit!" stammered Eliza uncertainly, continuing her ascent.

"That's it, keep going!" Gilbert encouraged. "She's just trying to psyche you out!"

Hungary had reached the top and was standing on the diving board, staring down at the pink mass below her. Her whole body trembled, and she finally gave up. "I can't do it," she cried, descending the ladder, her head hung low.

"The Gophers win invincibility again!" announced Cuba.

Hungary sat on the porch of the girls' cabin, sobbing into her hands. _I'm so weak, _she reprimanded herself.

America set himself to eating the cake in the vat.

Later on, at the campfire ceremony, they were down to the final two marshmallows. China, Hungary, and Russia were the ones who didn't have marshmallows in hand.

"The three of you didn't complete your challenges today," Cuba said. "One of you is going home tonight and cannot come back, _ever._ The next name I'm gonna call…" The three remaining countries bit their lips.

"…is…China!" Wang Yao smiled and claimed his marshmallow. Russia and Hungary eyed each other.

"The final marshmallow of the night goes to…Hungary!" Elizabeta grinned widely and claimed her marshmallow.

"Kolkolkol…" Russia's face was dark. "You voted off Mother Russia?" A pickaxe magically appeared in his hand.

Cuba's eyes widened. He knew exactly what to do now. He opened the cage which Belarus was in, and she leapt at him. His dark expression turned into one of horror as he dashed off into the Boat of Losers with Natalya hot on his heels. She followed him onto the boat, and screams could be heard even when Russia disappeared into the horizon.

* * *

**I'm so sorry, Ivan! Prastee meenya pozhalosta. Forgive me please. You are probably dreaming up a thousand ways to kill me for voting you off right now. Once again, Russia, I'm so sorry! But just because you're my favorite doesn't mean that I can just let you win. Maybe next season? ;) And there WILL be a next season, count on it. For now, please drink this peace offering of vodka. I hope you're not too TOO mad at me.**


	10. Chapter 10

**This is the last chapter before I'm off on my vacation tomorrow. I'll miss you all. *sniff***

**Alright, without further ado...Russia...out! Enjoy the chapter, everyone.**

* * *

The campers were out on the beach, being briefed on their latest challenge by Cuba.

"Okay, guys," announced the large man. "Today's challenge is a true summer camp experience- a canoe trip. You'll be paddling your canoes across the lake…" Here he paused dramatically. "To Bony Island!" He pointed to a spot on the map next to him, marked by a big skull. "When you get there, you'll carry your canoes to the other side of the island, which is about a two-hour hike through dangerous, dense jungle! When you arrive at the other end of the island, you'll build a rescue fire to be judged by me. The first team to paddle home and return their canoes to the beach is the winner of invincibility." He took a deep breath and said, "That's all. Move, move, move!"

The countries started to dash off down to the canoes.

Canada whispered something in Cuba's ear. Cuba nodded.

"Wait," he called after the nations. "One more thing I should mention. Legend has it that if you take anything off the island, you'll be cursed forever!"

"Bullshit," snickered Prussia. "The awesome me can't be cursed!"

"You don't know that for sure," Hungary told him.

"Yes, I do," replied Gilbert.

"No, you don't," Eliza snapped back.

This argument would've gone on forever if Germany hadn't shoved the two of them forward. Glaring at each other, they continued on to the canoes. The other campers followed.

That was when Spain arrived, trailing a piece of toilet paper behind him on his shoe. "What did I miss, mi amigo?" he asked Cuba.

"Just go down to the canoes," Cuba growled. Antonio ran off to join the others.

_It's time to make my move, _France thought with a smile on his bearded face. _I will win Seychelles over with my charm._

There were three red canoes and four green ones. Red for the Bass and green for the Gophers.

England asked Seychelles, "Do you want to be my paddle partner?" He avoided her gaze, staring at the ground instead.

"Oh, um, sure," Seychelles agreed. She guessed he wasn't as bad as she'd thought when they'd first met. He _had_ saved her from France, after all. She was about to head to a canoe with him when she felt a hand snake around her waist. She let out a shriek and attempted to shake off the affectionate Frenchman who was clinging to her to no avail.

Francis took her small, delicate hands in his own. He bent down on one knee and looked into her chocolate-colored eyes. "Please, ma chêrie, ride with me. I beg you."

Seychelles shot a worried glance at England. He looked back at her with an expression that asked, _Should I step in?_

She turned back to France. "Fine," she sighed. "But promise me you won't try to rape me or anything."

France placed a soft kiss on her hand. "I promise." Then he dragged her off with him to a green canoe.

In the end, England was stuck with America. He scowled sourly and muttered, "The bloody wanker is probably going to sink the ship with all his weight."

Alfred, completely oblivious to Arthur's insults, laughed and exclaimed, "These canoes remind me of what was left of your ships after the War of 1812!"

"Why, you…" England reached out to strangle America, and the two started fighting once again.

Japan was also planning to be Taiwan's paddle partner, but was called over by Turkey instead. Of course, Kiku was too courteous to reject Turkey's offer, so he ended up with Turkey.

Turkey had ordered Ukraine and Spain to make Taiwan go with them, and since Taiwan saw that Japan was going with Turkey instead, she had no choice but to go with Yekaterina and Antonio.

Germany went with Hong Kong and China. He was still angry at his brother, and he figured that Hong Kong and China wouldn't try to aggravate him.

Hungary looked around desperately. The last thing she wanted was to be paired up with Gilbert. "Sealand!" she called, waving her arm at him.

Sealand gladly skipped over. He didn't really mind who he was paired up with, just as long as they'd let him do all the rowing.

That left Prussia to be with South Korea. It kind of hurt that Hungary didn't want to be with him, but Prussia figured she'd come back to him eventually.

Francis was unsuccessfully trying to pull their canoe out of the sand onto the water while Seychelles sat in the canoe, arms folded. "Do not worry, ma chêrie, big brother France has got this." He tugged some more, then slumped, panting.

"Do you need help?" Seychelles inquired.

"No, no, it's fine, really," answered France, straining some more. He pulled so hard that he landed in the water with a splash when he let go. Seychelles rolled her eyes.

Prussia and South Korea had started rowing out to the starting line.

"This canoe was made in South Korea, da-ze!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. But you should know that I'm awesome. Isn't that right, lil' buddy?" Gilbert gently petted the fluffy yellow bird perched on his head. The bird gave a cheerful chirp in reply.

England and America passed by them.

"You're tipping the boat, you git! Don't you know that hamburgers are fattening?" England gave America a good whack on the head with his oar.

"Hey, that hurts!" Alfred complained. He lifted his oar and started whacking back at Arthur.

When everyone had somehow managed to row their boats out to the starting line, Cuba cocked a pistol. "On your marks…get set…go!" He fired once in the air. The nations started rowing.

France was flirting with Seychelles. "Let's go out sometime," he suggested, leaning forward towards her as he paddled.

"No." Seychelles turned him down flat.

"Does Friday night sound good?" France pursued.

"Uh…no." Rejected again.

"Saturday is just as good."

"I'm not going out with you!" Seychelles turned her head to face him. "Ever!" she emphasized.

Francis sighed. "If that is what you want." He was silent for a few seconds, then asked, "Is Sunday out of the question?"

Without so much as a glance back, Seychelles expertly twirled her oar in her hand and landed a blow to France's crotch.

"Ah…love hurts so good," gasped France, falling on his face on the bottom of the boat.

"Ow," groaned Ukraine, ceasing her paddling and rubbing her shoulder. "Taiwan? Can you please row for me?"

Mei scowled and snatched the oar from Ukraine's hand nonchalantly. She began rowing, gazing over at Kiku dreamily.

Japan was gazing right back at her, completely ignoring what Turkey was saying to him. Turkey swiveled his head to see if Japan was listening to him, and sure enough, he wasn't. He snapped loudly in the Japanese man's ear.

Kiku tore his eyes away from Mei and focused his attention on Turkey. "I'm sorry, Mr. Turkey," he apologized. But inside he was thinking, _That was pretty rude of Turkey._ He was just too courteous to say it.

Hungary asked Sealand, "Are you sure you want to row the boat by yourself?"

His eyes ablaze, the child replied, "If I'm going to become a country after this is done, I have to prove that I'm strong enough to be one."

Eliza smiled. She admired Sealand's determination.

Hong Kong and Germany rowed their boat in stoic silence, China sitting in between them. All Germany could think of was how he would avenge Italy. He knew that he would have to go against his brother and it wouldn't be easy, but he would figure out a way.

China was relieved that he didn't have Russia breathing down his neck anymore. Now he could finally set his mind at ease and focus on the competition.

"I think I'm starting to get it now," realized France. "I think I know why you are so cruel to me."

"Okay, give me the reason," said Seychelles.

"You're starting to fall for Angleterre, aren't you?" Francis glanced at her quizzically.

Seychelles's brown eyes widened.

"I do not interfere with true love," France told her. "I could sense that he liked you, too. And I like to make true love possible, so if you want, big brother France will speak to him and tell him what a wonderful girl you are."

"Really?" asked Seychelles. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," replied France, shrugging his shoulders.

"If you can get us on the same boat on the way home, I'll owe you one," Seychelles continued.

"It's interesting that you would say that," said France. "You see, I'm in a bit of trouble myself."

"What do you mean?" Seychelles inquired.

"Well," said France. "I bet my buddy Spain that if I got your bra, I'd do his dishes for the rest of the competition."

An oar nailed him in the crotch.

"…Right," he gasped. "Maybe I was asking too much of you?" Then he looked around. There was mist surrounding them. "Was this mist here earlier?"

"I don't think so," answered Seychelles.

It was only a matter of time before the skull-shaped rock on Bony Island came into view. All the canoes touched shore, and the groups of nations started lifting their canoes above their heads and heading off into the creepy woods.

Racing through the wilderness, the countries encountered many animal skulls mounted on sharp sticks. Then a tree toppled over in their path. They skidded to a halt, keeping a sharp lookout for any dangerous creatures around them.

France gasped as he sighted a few feral eyes glowing in the brush. "I think I saw something."

In a matter of seconds, the whole group was surrounded by humongous beavers with sharp tusks jutting out of their faces. They'd never seen anything like these before.

"Monster beavers!" Francis screamed, fleeing. The others followed close behind him.

Back at the main island, Canada was worrying about something. _Maybe I should have told them about the prehistoric woolly beavers. They're meat-eaters, after all._

"Something bothering you, Canada?" Cuba asked upon seeing the pensive expression on his friend's face.

"Oh, no, it's nothing," Matthew lied, then banged his head on a table. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

The Gophers fled in one group, the beavers hot on their tail. They soon hit a dead end- a shallow puddle of water beside a rock wall. They spun, wild-eyed, to face the carnivorous beavers and their deaths.

However, the beavers growled and turned the other way, avoiding the puddle.

"Hey, they are leaving," Japan informed everyone.

"Did anyone pack a change of underwear?" asked America. The others burst into laughter. "What's so funny?" The "hero" really had no clue.

That was when the prehistoric birds popped their heads out of the nests all around the area, screeching viciously.

Off they fled the other way.

"Okay, the hero is definitely going to need new underwear," Alfred announced as they ran for their lives.

"Someone do something!" yelled Seychelles. Then an idea hit her. "England, use your scones!"

"What will scones do?" England hollered back.

"Just throw them already!"

The gentleman gave a nod and pulled a handful of scones from his pocket, then hurled them backwards at the birds. The deadly projectiles rained down, decimating the flock. The remaining birds flew as far away from the scones as possible.

"It worked!" Seychelles cheered.

England wondered, _Why didn't the birds stop to eat the scones? Wasn't that what was supposed to happen?_

Then a flurry of red canoes raced past them.

"The race isn't over yet!" Taiwan reminded them. They dashed off after the Bass.

The Bass had reached a fork in the path.

"Which way should we go, da-ze?" inquired South Korea.

"I think we should go left," suggested Hungary.

"I don't know, da-ze. I feel like right is right." South Korea snickered at his own joke. No one else did.

"The right trail is wider," observed China.

Finally, the Bass decided to go right.

"I can't see the other team," huffed Japan.

Taiwan, who had sharper eyesight, reported, "They're taking the path on the right."

"Then let's go left," England decided.

The Gophers marched through the path on the left. They continued for several minutes without incident, then England started sinking all of a sudden.

"It's quicksand!" he exclaimed.

Back at the main island, Cuba thought, _I wonder if anyone's fallen for that quicksand trick yet._ He had set it up himself before the challenge.

Arthur had sunk up to his chest.

"England's stuck! The hero will save you, England!" America pledged.

"No, don't!" Arthur warned, but it was too late. Alfred had already jumped into the quicksand and was sinking along with England.

"I'm stuck too! The hero so didn't see this coming."

England facepalmed.

As his head disappeared below the surface, the gentleman desperately stretched a hand up.

"I will save you, Angleterre!" cried France. He grabbed a jungle vine and swung fast, grabbing at England's outstretched hand but missing by a few inches. He smashed into a tree trunk and slid to the ground. Seychelles thought, _I knew that would happen._

Arthur reached up some more, and his hand found the vine which France had used to swing on. He pulled himself out of the quicksand with much difficulty, dragging America out behind him. The rest of the team cheered.

France limped up, panting.

"Thanks, I guess," England said to him, his gaze fixed on the ground.

"Yeah, man, you're a lifesaver," America seconded.

France chuckled and panted, holding his side. "No problem."

"We still have a challenge to win," Mei reminded them.

"Yeah. Let's do it."

Just when things were looking up for the Bass, disaster struck.

"Ow!" South Korea yelled. His legs buckled, and he fell on the ground.

China was at his side immediately. "What's wrong-aru~?"

"You'll have to go on…without me, da-ze…" South Korea groaned, clutching his leg. It was only a splinter, but he had a flair for the dramatic. After all, he had made all the Korean dramas.

Hungary was about to go on, but China laid a hand on her shoulder. "We must not leave a man behind-aru~" he told her determinedly.

And so, South Korea was borne aloft on top of the canoe that Germany, China, and Hong Kong were carrying.

The Bass arrived at the other end of the island to find that the Gophers were already there.

Turkey was trying to rub sticks together while Seychelles smacked two pieces of flint together. He looked up and saw, to his horror, that Hungary had already managed to make a small fire on her pile of sticks and was blowing on it to make it larger.

"How did they do that so quickly?" the masked nation wondered aloud.

Prussia flipped back the lid on his lighter and grinned in response.

Cuba, Canada, and Kumajirou were hovering over them in a helicopter.

"Are there any rules to carrying a lighter?" Cuba questioned his friend.

"No," answered Canada.

"That gives the Killer Bass an edge, then," commented Cuba.

Spain was carrying his sticks, but accidentally dropped them next to a bush. As he bent down to pick them up, he spotted an object in the bush. It was an ornately-carved wooden voodoo figurine. He had not heard Cuba's warning about the curse, as he had been in the bathroom at the time, so he exclaimed, "Cool!" and picked up the figurine with a cheerful smile.

France approached England.

"Why did you save me?" Arthur asked.

"I wouldn't allow my teammate to sink in quicksand, no matter how much I hate you," Francis replied. He opened a bottle of wine which he pulled out of thin air and poured some into a glass. "Would you like some, Angleterre?" He offered the glass to England.

"No, I'm good," said England.

"Okay, Angleterre, there is something I want to talk about with you."

"Alright, what is it?"

"Seychelles," was the immediate reply. "You see, I keep trying to win her heart, but she always rejects me. The point is, she does not love me. She loves you."

Arthur's brilliant green eyes widened. He stood and pointed a finger at France's chest. "If you're lying, I'll kill you, frog."

"I swear, if I had something to gain from lying to you, Angleterre, I would gladly lie."

England saw the truth in France's blue eyes. "Okay," he said, backing off. "So, what do you think I should do about it, frog? Because as much as I hate to admit it, you're more romantic than I am."

"Well," said France. "Here is what I would do."

Turkey came into the clearing and interrupted. "Are you almost finished with your tea party? We're in the middle of a challenge here!"

All of the Bass carried their sticks to the fire. Even South Korea, who was supposedly "injured", lent a hand, scooting across the sand and loading his pile of sticks on the growing flame.

China sighed. He knew what had to be done. He went over to check on South Korea's wounds and apply the right Chinese herb to them.

The fire was only campfire-sized.

"I don't think this is going to be big enough," Elizabeta speculated.

"You heard her," said Sealand. "We need more wood, guys. Let's go!" The Bass dashed off to find more firewood.

Hong Kong had an idea. He rushed over to the red canoes and grabbed their oars. Then he returned and flung the oars onto the fire.

The Bass gasped.

"How are we supposed to get home now-aru~?" China demanded. "Hong Kong, you should think before you act-aru~! Aiyah! Didn't I teach you anything?"

"I'm sorry, I suppose," Hong Kong muttered.

"This should do it," America called, tossing a ball of yellow, gooey _something_ into the air. "The hero made this fire-starter himself! Stand back, guys, 'cuz this is gonna be big!" No one doubted him. They all backed away.

With a grin as big as Texas on his face, Alfred lobbed the fire-starter into the Gophers' fire. There was a huge explosion, and a mushroom cloud rolled up, narrowly missing the helicopter. The Gophers shielded themselves from the blinding light.

When the light faded, the Bass gawked in awe.

"We have our fire-building winners! Point for the Gophers!" Cuba announced.

The fire was mammoth. It blazed up about twenty feet.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Turkey questioned America.

The "hero" was sitting on the ground. His whole front was blackened. "HAHAHAHA! Once when I went to summer camp, they taught us how to make those things and I blew up the kitchen on accident! It was so cool, man! You should have seen it! It was all like BANG! BOOM! And then the RCMP came after me, but they couldn't catch the hero!" There was no stopping him now.

The campers walked to their canoes. France stopped England and Seychelles.

"You guys, you must be scared from the whole quicksand thing. How about I go with America and Seychelles goes with England?"

The British gentleman returned, "Sounds cool." He and Seychelles headed off to a canoe together.

As she passed, France gave Seychelles a thumbs-up. She smiled back at him.

"What are we going to do without paddles-aru~?" Wang Yao was freaking out.

"You could get someone to push the boat," America suggested as he rowed off. "I pushed a sixty-foot yacht once. Then the boat capsized, but the hero saved everyone and got them back to shore!"

Everyone just stared at America.

"That might work-aru~" China realized. "But we need someone strong enough to push all the canoes back-aru~"

The Bass looked around.

"Germany, da-ze!" said South Korea.

"Nein," Ludwig growled, folding his arms. "I am not helping you."

"C'mon, West, stop being like that!" Prussia urged his little brother.

"I'll do it, then," offered Hungary.

"You know the awesome me can't let you do that," Gilbert said.

"Then we'll do it together," Eliza snapped.

"Fine," Gilbert retorted.

The Bass stacked their three canoes one on top of the other. The whole team, excluding Gilbert and Eliza, climbed into the top canoe. Prussia and Hungary kicked their legs, speeding them back towards the main island.

They pushed them so fast, they sped past the Gophers. Hungary and Prussia were so concentrated, they didn't stop kicking when they reached shore, sending their whole team flying over Cuba's head and crash-landing on the beach.

"The Bass are the winners!" Cuba hollered.

The Bass picked themselves up and cheered as one.

The Gophers glared at America when they reached shore.

"Great job, you git! You cost us the game! Why did you help the other team?" England snapped.

Alfred defended himself. "The hero helps everyone! That's what makes a true hero!"

"I've had enough of your 'hero' crap!" Arthur crossed over to him and started strangling him.

Night fell, and it was time for the marshmallow ceremony.

"When I call your name, come and get a marshmallow," Cuba instructed the Gophers, spinning the marshmallow tray expertly on his fingertip.

"Spain."

"Japan."

"Taiwan."

"France."

"England."

"Turkey."

"Seychelles."

"One last marshmallow." Neither Ukraine nor America had been called yet. "The person who doesn't get this marshmallow will walk off the Dock of Shame and take a ride on the Boat of Losers. Who's it gonna be?"

The sound of helicopter blades chopping the air drowned out Cuba's words. A spotlight shone on America, followed by a voice announcing, "Alfred F. Jones, you are under arrest!"

"You mean that stuff you told us was actually true?" Everyone stared, wide-eyed, at America.

"Nah, just the RCMP part," the "hero" replied. "Well, if you'll excuse me…" He spun to face the helicopter. "You'll never get the hero alive!" And off he raced down the Dock of Shame.

"Well, that takes care of that," Cuba concluded.

France was in the girls' cabin before bedtime. He dug under a pillow and produced a black bra. Spain was in there with him.

"Is that…Seychelles's bra?" Spain stared at it in wonder.

"Oui," France replied. "I guess you will be doing _my_ dishes, Antonio."

Japan and Taiwan were sharing a tender moment together out on the dock, gazing up at the stars.

Later on, when Antonio went back to the boys' cabin, he propped the figurine he'd taken from Bony Island next to him on the pillow. He smiled contentedly. Outside, there was a momentary flash of lightning.

* * *

**Originally, I had planned on making it FrancexSeychelles. Now I find that EnglandxSeychelles is more appealing. I hope you guys are okay with this pairing.**


	11. Chapter 11

** Russia is back after two weeks with more total drama for our beloved nations! **

* * *

The dawning of a new day at Camp Wawanakwa. A helicopter, flown by Cuba, hovered over the ground, rousing sleeping countries. Ah, the beauty of it all.

In the boys' cabin, England leaped out of his bunk bed and huddled in a ball on the ground. "It's the dark lord from the heart of Herindas!" he screamed. "He found out that I'm a wizard and now he's come to avenge his brother, whom I slayed with the help of Grasft the dragon!"

The other guys looked at each other in confusion.

"Do you think our amigo England has finally gone _loco_?" asked Spain.

"Angleterre always was a bit unstable," France admitted.

In the girls' cabin, Hungary sat up so fast at the sound of the helicopter blades that she banged her head painfully on the bottom of the top bunk. "Ugh!" she groaned. "Not one peaceful morning around here! I miss Mr. Austria's house."

"I don't really mind the noise," Taiwan said. "I always hear motorcycles on the road near my house when I'm sleeping, so I guess I'm used to it."

"Oh!" Ukraine suddenly remembered something. She and Spain had been ordered to warm up the shower for Turkey in the mornings. She sped to the outhouse as fast as she could and found Spain there, already working on it.

Antonio glanced up and saw her. "Gracias," he thanked her as she knelt down next to him and started fiddling with the temperature knobs.

About half an hour later, a long line of male campers was still waiting for the outhouse. They had all held it for quite a while, thanks to Turkey.

"What's the holdup?" China demanded.

"Turkey needs his private time," Spain replied with a forced smile.

"How long's that wanker going to be in there? I've got urgent business!" England growled.

"He could still be awhile," Antonio informed them.

"This is so un-awesome! That's it, the awesome me won't take this bullshit anymore. I'm going lumberjack-style." Prussia stepped out of the line and headed off to the nearest bush.

The loudspeaker at the center of camp screeched, then Cuba's voice came through loud and clear. "I hope you're ready for the most challenging challenge yet! Breakfast in three minutes at the campfire pit."

Spain knocked on the outhouse door. "Um, Señor Turkey?" he called.

"Could one of you come in here and lotion my back? It's peeling," Turkey hollered back.

Finding the other guys gone, Antonio winced and entered the outhouse.

When all of the campers were gathered at the campfire pit, Cuba began. "Are you ready for today's extreme challenge?" he roared, hoping to instill some new encouragement in the contestants.

Canada sighed from his position next to his large friend. The competition had indeed taken its toll on the nations. Most of them looked nonchalant and fatigued. Matthew was beginning to have second thoughts about what at first had seemed like a good idea. But there was no turning back now. Not after they'd come this far.

"The awesome me is ready for anything!" Gilbert yelled in return. Eliza shook her head in astonishment at his seemingly-boundless energy.

"Incoming!" Cuba announced, suddenly chucking a can of beans at Taiwan. She flinched and braced for impact, but right before it pegged her in the face, Japan reached over and caught it. They smiled at each other.

"This," said Cuba, tossing out more beans, "is breakfast."

"No," France argued. "Breakfast is crêpes and croissants, coupled with a glass of the finest French wine."

Prussia saw a chance to be immature. "Beans, beans, good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you-" Hungary silenced him by nailing him in the head with her can of beans. He keeled over on the ground.

"Today's challenge is about survival. We're going hunting," Cuba told them, brandishing a green paintball gun.

"That's more like it!" exclaimed Gilbert, standing up.

"Isn't that a paintball gun, da-ze?" South Korea inquired, pointing at the gun. "Made in South Korea, of course, da-ze?" he added eagerly.

"What does it look like?" snapped Cuba. He pulled the trigger, sending South Korea sprawling.

"So we won't be killing anything?" China wanted a confirmation.

"Nope," replied Cuba. "This is the first-ever paintball deer hunt!" Wang Yao's face broke into a grin.

"I'll announce the teams when we get into the woods," Cuba continued. "So…finish eating."

"Cuba, Kumasanrou, may I talk to you for a minute?" Canada beckoned his friends over as the campers ate. "This is playing out too well," he told them. "Everyone is fitting into their roles. I know almost exactly what's going to happen."

"Is that a bad thing?" asked Kumajirou.

"No, it's just that… they all look so…stressed. And I know that if this goes on, there will be more heartbreak and sorrow, and I just don't want them to go through that." Matthew put his face in his hands and cried.

Then he felt a warm hand on one shoulder and a warm paw on the other.

"Canada," Kumajirou consoled him. Only later did Matthew realize that his bear had remembered his name. "The point of this is to have fun. And, although they may not look it at times, I can tell that the others are having fun. They must love you for inviting them to participate."

Cuba added, "Sure, there will be heartbreak and sorrow, just like in the show. But that only means the show is more real than you thought it was. Since the events from the show are occurring in real life, it means that life is one big total drama and you just have to deal with it. So stand up, Canada, and be the host of this real total drama."

Slowly, Matthew rose to his feet. "You guys are right," he resolved. "Thank you, Cuba, Kumajirou." He walked off back to the edge of the forest where the other countries were waiting, his friends at his side.

Only later did Kumajirou realize that his master had gotten his name right.

Cuba stood in front of a rack full of red and green paintball guns. "Here are the team breakdowns. The Killer Bass hunters are Germany, Hong Kong, and South Korea." He tossed them each a green gun. "You have blue paint." Next, he grabbed a red gun. "Using orange paint are the Gopher hunters: Ukraine, Spain, Seychelles and England." He tossed them their guns.

"I've never held one of these before," Seychelles fretted, holding her gun at arm's length like a smelly sock.

"I'll teach you when we start," England offered.

"I…would like that," blushed Seychelles.

"You also get protective eyewear and camo caps," said Cuba, handing the articles out to the hunters. He turned to those who were not hunters. "The rest of you are now deer. Here are your antlers, noses, and little white tails." He couldn't resist a snicker.

"I am _not_ wearing that," Turkey declined.

"There is no way the awesome me is a deer!" Prussia exclaimed.

"Take these off, and your team loses the challenge," growled Cuba, smacking the antlers, nose, and tail on Prussia. Gilbert winced.

"Aww, you look so cute!" Spain said to Prussia. He reached out and tugged on Prussia's tail, then let go. The tail snapped back sharply (since it was connected to an elastic waistband), connecting with Prussia's behind.

"You shoot me and you're dead," Gilbert muttered under his breath, red eyes gleaming dangerously.

The four Bass deer were traveling through the forest in a group: China, Hungary, Prussia, and Sealand.

"At least we get a head start," Eliza commented.

"We must be deer to avoid getting hit," advised China. "I have learned their ways, and so, I must turn into one. Good luck!" He got on all fours and bounded away, as graceful and lithe as a deer. The others could only gawk.

Likewise, the four Gopher deer were sticking together: France, Japan, Turkey, and Taiwan.

Mei sighed. "This may be the lamest thing I've ever done in my life."

"Hey, it could be fun. After all, don't we look gorgeous?" Francis twirled around, exhibiting his little white tail for all to see.

The others stared at him, frowning.

"You people don't have any appreciation for true beauty," France sulked. "I'm going by myself now." He turned and walked off in the other direction.

Japan and Taiwan started off too, but stopped when they noticed that Turkey was sitting on a stump in the middle of the clearing.

"Are you coming?" Mei asked.

"No," replied Turkey. "I'm going to wait for Spain and Ukraine and make them protect me for the whole game."

"Wouldn't that be against the rules?" Taiwan was skeptical.

"Do you see a rules person anywhere? Mind your own business," was Turkey's answer.

Japan looked at Taiwan and shrugged. The two left the clearing.

The hunters donned their protective eyewear and hoisted their guns. They were ready to hunt some deer.

"Start your paintballs! Game on!" Cuba announced through the loudspeaker.

"Let's go, amigos!" Spain cheered.

England was just finishing up teaching Seychelles how to use her gun. She was feeling more confident.

"Why don't you come with me?" England suggested.

"Sure," Seychelles agreed. Blushing, she added, "I'm glad you asked."

"I will go with you, Spain," said Ukraine. "Unless, of course, you don't want me to." She prepared herself to cry.

Antonio chided, "Cheer up, mi amiga. Of course you can come with me."

"Thank you, Spain. You're so kind." Yekaterina wiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeve.

The sun beat down on Ukraine and Spain as they trod through the forest.

"We're back to where we started and we haven't seen one deer." Even Spain was getting a bit discouraged.

Turkey was sitting right in front of them. He cleared his throat. "What took you so long?"

Antonio was confused. "Were we supposed to come find you, Señor Turkey?"

"The alliance? Does that ring a bell?" Turkey's patience was wearing thin.

"Ooh! Ooh! An alliance? Can I be in one?" Yekaterina asked excitedly, waving her hand in the air.

"You already _are_, Ukraine. That's the point." Turkey was getting fed up with his henchcountries' stupidity. "Now, go find me some berries. I'm starving."

Ukraine ran off into the bushes to find sustenance for her master.

Spain was still befuddled. "Um…shouldn't we be…hunting?"

"She _is_ hunting. For me." Turkey thought for a second, then said, "Actually, berries won't be enough. Go get me some bread."

"In the forest?" Spain was more puzzled than ever.

"In the dining hall. _Now_." _My, he's dumb. _"And not white!" Turkey amended as Spain left.

_Why is Turkey being so bossy?_ wondered Antonio. _Maybe I'll bring him some tomatoes along with the bread. That should cheer him up._

Seychelles spotted China grazing on some grass in a clearing. She immediately dashed through the brush towards him.

_She's making too much noise,_ thought England. _At this rate, China will definitely escape._

Seychelles dove into a bush near where China was grazing. Then she noticed that there was a huge centipede crawling onto her arm. She stifled a scream and rolled about in the bush frantically, trying to shake it off.

China looked up at the sound.

Spain huddled under a picnic table near the mess hall. Cuba exited the mess hall, dressed in his swimming trunks. Spain waited for him to pass, then tried to stand up but banged his head painfully on the bottom of the table.

"_H__í__jole_!"

Cuba heard the noise and glanced around suspiciously. Seeing nothing, he continued walking in the direction of the lake.

Antonio, seeing that the coast was clear, emerged from his hiding place and sprinted through the threshold of the mess hall, shutting the door behind him.

Seychelles was having no luck shaking off the centipede and was forced to spring out of the bush and fling it to the ground. Of course, this alerted China, who took off at a deer's pace.

England laid a hand on her shoulder and said, "How about I hunt China, okay?"

Seychelles hung her head in shame and nodded stiffly.

Spain had Turkey's bread in his possession. He bolted for the door, but stopped in his tracks when he spotted Cuba's shadow outside. He quickly hid under the table closest to the door. The voodoo figurine in his breast pocket slipped out and hit the floor with a loud _clonk_!

Cuba's eyes widened, and he flipped back his swim goggles. As he stood there, listening for any more sounds, Spain was quietly tiptoeing out the door. However, he was given away by a creaky floorboard.

Antonio fled out the door and through the forest as fast as he could, leaving a trail of bread crumbs behind him.

When he was safe, he stood there, panting. A part of his mind told him, _Why are you doing this?_

The other part replied, _Because Turkey told me to._

_Since when was Turkey the boss?_

_He's not the boss. He's just a part of the same alliance._

_Then why are you doing this for him? Why are you the one running from Cuba? Aren't you Boss Spain?_

_But I'll get kicked out of the alliance!_

_Look, compadre, you don't need the alliance to make it to the final three._

_I'll have a better chance._

_All your life you've never been able to tell what's really going on. Now, when it counts, you have to realize it. Turkey is just using you and Ukraine as his slaves._

_No! It can't be! Turkey is nice!_

_That's what he wants you to believe. Antonio, look past the surface just this once, and tell me what you see._

_Turkey is…Turkey is…an evil man. He has no intention of bringing us to the final three. Only himself._

Spain's eyes widened. _I'm being used. I have to warn Ukraine!_ His stomach growled, and he looked at the bread. Then he started eating it.

China pranced through the forest with England in hot pursuit. The British gentleman was determined not to let his quarry escape. Orange paint splattered the ground behind China.

It took a lot to get Spain angry, but he had to admit, Turkey was one sick _hombre._

France peeked out of a bush along the path which Spain was taking. From his facial expression, he could tell that something had deeply upset his friend. He came out of the bush and strode alongside Antonio.

"What's wrong?" he inquired. "Is it because you haven't shot any deer yet?" Knowing Antonio, though, he guessed that it was something much deeper.

"No," Spain replied crossly. "But I did risk my life to steal a loaf of bread!" He held up the measly piece that was left.

"What took you so long?" Turkey demanded from his spot on the stump.

"Here," said Spain, holding the remainder of the bread out to Turkey with a scowl. "I hope you know what I had to go through to get that."

"What do you call this?" snapped Turkey, holding the tiny piece at arm's length. "Why is the bread so small, you idiot? And it's white, too! Go get more bread. And make sure it's not white this time!"

Spain was silent for a few seconds, then he said, "No."

Turkey was astounded. "What did you just say?"

France, sensing that a fight was about to break out, left the clearing quickly, but not before he took the piece of bread which Turkey had dropped.

"Take it back," growled Turkey.

Spain squeezed his eyes shut and then said, "No."

"Take. It. Back." Turkey emphasized every word.

"No! I am Boss Spain, and not your slave! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a challenge to complete." He stalked off.

An orange paintball nailed Turkey in the arm. "Ow! Stop it right now, whoever you are!" Another paintball sent him sprawling.

In the bushes, Hong Kong and South Korea high-fived one another.

China and England were now dashing up the thousand-foot-high cliff. England kept shooting, but all of his paintballs narrowly missed his target.

Wang Yao skidded to a halt on the edge of the cliff. Arthur soon had him cornered.

"You're mine now, China," he panted, squeezing the trigger.

_Click. Click-click._

"Huh?"

In an instant, Wang Yao had lobbed his hunter over the edge of the cliff into the water below. "Nothing personal, Opium!" he called down. Grinning, he got on all fours again and headed down from the cliff.

Turkey came to where Ukraine was gathering blueberries.

"Wait, I have blueberries, see?" Yekaterina held a handful of the fruits out to Turkey. He swatted them to the ground.

"Follow me," he commanded, and Ukraine, of course, did what she was told.

France ate his bread as he walked, leaving a trail of crumbs behind him. He hadn't had nearly enough to eat this morning, and he was ravenous.

Spain was crouched behind a bush, looking through his gun's scope at Sealand.

"Hey! Spain!" Turkey's voice alerted Sealand, and he was gone like the wind.

"I almost had him!" Spain complained, whirling to face his former master.

"We've been talking about you," Turkey said.

"We have?" asked Ukraine.

"Shut it, Ukraine." He turned his masked face back to Spain. "We've decided to give you one last chance. If you take it back, you can rejoin our alliance."

"Take back what?"

"The n-word," Turkey responded. "No."

"I don't want to take it back!" Spain refused.

"You are nothing without me!" Turkey's voice turned into a scream.

"Do you know why we keep losing challenges?" Antonio questioned.

"Because they're lame and stupid," Turkey answered matter-of-factly.

"No," said Spain. "It's because you're so busy being mean that you don't even try! And all you can think of is bossing us around! I wasn't even this demanding with Romano when I was his boss! You are the worst boss ever!" The Spaniard had not shouted in ages, but Turkey had driven him to extremes.

Turkey gritted his teeth and plucked the red deer nose from his face. He hit Spain in the face with it.

"That's it!" Antonio exploded.

"Bring it, you good-for-nothing!" Turkey retorted.

Arthur dragged himself through the woods, dripping wet and shivering. _Come on, man,_ he scolded himself. _Get your act together. You can do better than this._ He heard a twig snap nearby. He looked around and sighted Prussia walking on his own, muttering about how awesome he was and how he was not going to get shot.

_Or will you?_ thought England, rubbing his hands together.

"I am giving you one last chance," Turkey said.

"Why? Because you know you can't win without Ukraine and me?" Spain speculated.

"I can make your life miserable here!" Turkey yelled.

"You already do, Señor 'Come put lotion on my nasty alligator skin.' I don't have anything to lose!" There was no turning back for Spain now. His fiery passion had been converted into equally fiery anger.

Seychelles was ticked off. She'd been wandering around in the woods for two hours and hadn't shot one deer. _What kind of messed-up person actually does this for fun?_ she wondered.

A voice interrupted her train of thought. "Fine! Be all alone then, loser!"

"It's better than working for you!" another voice returned.

Seychelles peered out from behind a bush. She squinted through the eyewear, which was blurring her vision, and was able to make out three shapes. Shrugging, she discharged a paintball.

The paintball flew through the air, colliding with Turkey's back.

"Ow! Who was that?" Turkey spun to face Seychelles as she came into view.

"Oh, sorry," Seychelles apologized, lifting up her eyewear. "This was blurring my vision."

"Give me your gun!" Turkey held a hand out to Spain. "Give it!" Spain did not comply, instead opting to shoot him in the leg. "Ow! Charlie horse!" Turkey cried, clutching his leg and keeling over.

Seychelles smiled. "So you finally figured it out, huh, Spain?"

"Si," Antonio replied. "And I enjoyed shooting Turkey! He doesn't even deserve a 'señor' before his name." He started laughing, and Seychelles joined him.

"Stop laughing!" hollered Turkey from the ground.

Prussia was taking a drink from the river that ran through the forest. England watched him from his perch up in a tree which grew close to the river. He pointed his paintball gun at his target.

A horrible smell drifted into Prussia's nostrils. _Scones. The awesome me would know that smell anywhere. _The odor was even worse because the scones were wet. "England!" he called up into the tree. "Nice try, but the awesome me won't be brought down that easily!" And off he went.

England was so shocked, he tumbled out of the tree into a mud puddle. _What gave me away? _he wondered incredulously.

France was getting overconfident. _I haven't been hit by a single paintball yet. I'm going to win this! _He finished off the last of the bread and then spotted the pile of berries which Ukraine had collected in front of him. He stooped down to pick them up, then stopped when he heard a growl behind him. He turned to face an angry grizzly bear.

"Bonjour, there, big guy," he greeted the bear nervously. "Want some berries?"

The creature roared viciously and sprang upon him in response.

Turkey had managed to get to his feet again. "Give me that!" He snatched Ukraine's gun from her and pointed it at Spain and Seychelles. He loosed two shots, which covered them in orange paint.

"You messed with the wrong _hombre_," Spain warned. He and Seychelles started coating Turkey in paint, while Turkey returned fire.

Prussia was busy carving "I am awesome" into the trunk of a nearby tree.

Hungary approached him. "The game must be nearly over by now. I'm heading back." She tried walking past him, but he stopped her.

"You're going the wrong way."

"Excuse me? You should remember that you're the one who always got lost on our hunting trips. My sense of direction is better than yours. Camp is this way." Eliza pointed past him.

"No, my awesome senses tell me it's that way." Gilbert pointed past her.

Hungary rolled her eyes and then proceeded on her course to the camp, eyes downcast. Prussia did the same. They ended up bumping into each other and getting their antlers entwined. They tried pulling apart, but they couldn't.

"Very funny," said Hungary sarcastically. "Now let me go!"

"Eliza, this isn't the awesome me's idea of fun, either," Prussia responded.

"Great, Gil. Now look what you've done!"

"Can't we just take these un-awesome antlers off?"

"No! You heard what Cuba said. We'll lose the challenge!" Hungary tried pulling back again with no luck. "Now what?"

Prussia's face broke into a grin. "Wanna make out with the awesome me?"

Eliza's eyes widened. _The nerve of that man!_

Germany, Hong Kong, and South Korea heard loud shouts and laughter up ahead. There were lots of "Gotcha"s and "Haha"s.

Germany signaled to the other two to be quiet, and they snuck up on the Gophers. Turkey, Ukraine, Spain, and Seychelles were covered from head to toe with orange paint, and soon, there were some nice splotches of blue, too, as the Bass hunters opened fire.

"This is so fun, da-ze!" cheered South Korea.

Cuba's voice from the loudspeaker interrupted them. "Attention, all campers! Please report to camp for me to tally up your scores!"

France had to be bandaged up completely and put in a wheelchair after his encounter with the bear.

"You guys are pitiful. Stealing from the mess hall. Eating bread in the woods. Being mauled by bears." Cuba paced in front of the campers. "Do you know what I see here? I see a very undisciplined group! I see a disgraceful mess! I see a massive waste of paint products! And, I have to say…" Every country was prepared to hear a long string of insults.

They didn't get what they expected. "That was awesome!" Cuba laughed and pointed to the Gophers, four of whom were covered in orange and blue paint. "When you guys opened fire on your own team…I loved it!"

_Life really is one big drama, _Canada thought, smiling.

Hong Kong spoke up. "Where are Prussia and Hungary?"

As if on cue, the two childhood friends arrived at camp, Hungary stepping carefully backwards while Prussia walked forwards.

"Wow," said Taiwan. "Now I've seen everything."

"_L'amour _is everywhere," France mumbled from behind his bandages. He winked at Prussia.

"The girl can't keep her antlers off the awesome me," Gilbert smirked. His good spirits were dampened with a swift kick in his five meters from Hungary.

Prussia and Hungary were pulled apart with a little help from their teammates. Prussia fell to the ground, clutching his five meters. Hungary just stood glaring at him, arms crossed.

"Since three members of the Gophers are dripping in paint…" said Cuba. "Make that four," he corrected himself as Ukraine turned around, revealing that her backside was dripping with blue paint. "And some of them aren't even deer. I think we have our winner!"

The Bass cheered loudly and fist-pumped the air.

"Gophers," Cuba addressed the losing team. "I'll see you at the campfire ceremony. Again."

Night fell much too soon for the Gophers' liking.

"Twice in a row? Seriously?" Turkey was giving his team an earful. "What is wrong with you people? I can't wait to see Spain get kicked off! I just wish I could vote off _two_ campers at once." He glared pointedly at Seychelles.

France was sure that he wouldn't get voted off. Turkey was disliked by many of the Gophers. His own team had shot him about eighteen times. Besides, France was much more beautiful.

The rest of the Gophers didn't share that sentiment, however. They felt that France wasn't so useful in challenges anymore. No matter how much they hated Turkey, he was the more useful one.

"There are only seven marshmallows on this plate," said Cuba. "When I call your name, come up and claim your marshmallow. The camper-"

Taiwan interrupted him, speaking rapidly. "Who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers and leave. Can't we just get this over with?"

"Fine," said Cuba. "Spoil the moment."

"Japan."

"Ukraine."

"England."

"Taiwan."

"Seychelles."

Spain crossed his fingers for luck. Turkey grinned evilly at him, making the cut-throat gesture.

Turkey's hopes were dashed when Cuba called, "Spain."

"Camper's this is the final marshmallow tonight." He held it up for all to see.

France and Turkey's eyes were fixated on the marshmallow. They didn't look away from it until the final name was called.

"Turkey."

The marshmallow was snatched from Cuba's hand. "You are all lucky. Very lucky," Turkey snarled.

"France," said Cuba. "The Dock of Shame awaits."

_How am I going to get there_? wondered France.

"Can someone help France get over there?" Cuba requested.

"I'll do it for mi amigo," Spain offered, standing up.

"Bye, France," called Seychelles, waving.

France wanted to blow her a kiss, but he couldn't do it with all those bandages.

England's face reddened. "T-take care of yourself, you bloody frog," he muttered.

France couldn't hear what he was saying, but judging from how the Brit was addressing the ground and his face was red, he could tell that it had been something nice.

Spain wheeled France down the dock. The latter tried mumbling something from inside his bandages.

Antonio could actually understand what Francis was trying to say. "I know, I can't believe that I stood up to him either," he replied.

More mumbling.

"Tu amigo here will be okay. Don't worry about me. And I still have my good-luck charm." He took the voodoo figurine out from his breast pocket. "See? I got it from Bony Island last week."

France gasped, and his eyes widened. He tried warning Spain, but the latter talked over him.

"Cool, huh? Adiós, France. Take care." He kissed his friend on the cheek. France didn't have time to scream before he rolled off the dock and plunged into the water below.

"Oops," said Spain.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry it took so long to upload this chapter, readers. I just didn't have a lot of time the past few weeks. I'll try to get new chapters out faster since I have more free time now. In recompense, I will give you each a bottle of vodka. One for you, one for you, and one for you. Alright, that should make it better. Russia...out!**

Prussia sprang out of bed and started his morning push-ups, inhaling and exhaling deeply. His nose then caught a putrid odor coming from the floor in front of him, or rather, the soiled underwear on the floor in front of him.

Now, Prussia was no gentleman, but even he was disgusted. He jumped up from the floor with a start. "That is so un-awesome!"

The rest of the guys burst into uncontrolled laughter. Germany scowled at the lack of discipline in the cabin.

China, however, was not amused. "South Korea, don't leave your dirty underwear on the floor-aru~!" he scolded sharply.

"Those aren't mine, da-ze! I mean, they originated in South Korea, but they aren't mine, da-ze!" the younger Asian country protested to no avail.

"You just set yourself up," Wang Yao sighed impatiently. "By confirming that the underwear were made in your country, you're also confirming that they're yours-aru~"

"And the underwear have the South Korean flag on it," Hong Kong pointed out.

Realizing that he was beaten, South Korea announced, "I'm going for a shower, da-ze!" He grabbed a towel, slung it over his shoulder, and skipped out the door.

"He needs to be taught a lesson, aru~," China suggested, turning to Prussia and Hong Kong. "Will you two help me-aru~?"

The other two grinned, and the new alliance high-fived each other.

When the campers were gathered on the beach, Kumajirou began. "Today's challenge will test your teamwork and your culinary skills. You'll be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to my owner for tasting." Canada had insisted that he eat the food because he feared the other two would be too harsh with their judging. "The winners get a reward, and the losers will send someone home. Each team will appoint a head chef to choose the theme of the meal and oversee the cooking. But first, you'll need ingredients. Go get them from the delivery truck over there." He pointed a paw down the beach at the parked vehicle.

"Are you sure you want to eat the food?" Cuba asked his best friend anxiously. "I've never tried Asian food before, so I'm not sure how it tastes. Also, Italy and France are gone, and they're the two best cooks. And worst of all…" He glanced across at England. "What if they cook English food?"

"I've tried Asian food before. It's not bad," replied Canada. "And I don't think the Gophers are dumb enough to let England cook. I'll be fine." He smiled reassuringly.

China, Prussia, and Hong Kong had gotten over to the truck first.

"I think we should cook Chinese food, aru~!" China exclaimed ecstatically.

"You should be head chef, China," said Hong Kong. "Is that all right with you, Prussia?" Knowing Prussia, he would probably disagree and demand that he be made head chef.

Surprisingly, Gilbert considered for a few seconds and then shrugged. "Sure," he said. True, he thought that beer and wurst tasted better than Chinese food, but then again, Chinese food had more variety. And he was in an alliance now. No use arguing with his fellow alliance members.

"I'm head chef!" Turkey hollered. He pointed a gloved finger at Spain. "Try not to screw up this time, okay?"

Spain nodded meekly.

"Just ignore him," said Seychelles, coming up alongside Spain.

_I'm perfectly suited for the leadership role,_ thought Turkey. _The team is on a losing streak, and everyone else is pretty useless. I'm the one who has to pull us out of this situation._

The Bass left, carrying their ingredients.

"Seychelles, bell peppers," Turkey ordered, marking things off on a clipboard. "Spain, tomatoes; Ukraine, garlic and herbs; Japan, lamb; Taiwan, beef." The Gophers filed out of the truck, ingredients in tow.

The Bass entered the kitchen and settled down.

"Okay," China started. "We have three courses and six nations, aru~. So, everyone partner up-aru~"

"I can work with Germany," offered Hong Kong. He whispered, "He's still mad at most of us, especially Prussia. I'm the least likely to aggravate him."

"Good idea-aru~," agreed China.

"I'll work with Sealand, da-ze," said South Korea. He was cross at Prussia, Hong Kong, and China for calling him out that morning.

"I guess that leaves you and the awesome me," Prussia said, winking at Hungary.

"Oh, no," breathed Eliza. "Not you. Anyone but you."

"Please, Hungary," begged Wang Yao. "For the team-aru~"

Hungary scowled. "Fine. Just don't piss me off, or you'll be reunited with Mr. Frying Pan."

Hong Kong snuck into the boys' cabin. He scooped up a pair of South Korea's underwear using a long stick. He placed it in a bag, then returned to the kitchen and gave China the thumbs-up. China nodded back as he finished filling up the bucket he was holding with water. South Korea was walking past him, reading the recipe for steamed meat buns.

"Where do you want the water, Seala- whoops!" With a "careless" slip of his hands, Wang Yao spilled the water from the bucket onto South Korea's pants.

South Korea frowned. "Smooth move, da-ze," he muttered.

"Guess you'd better go change," Hong Kong suggested. South Korea stalked off.

Hong Kong and China snickered and bro-fisted. Germany squinted at them suspiciously. He knew something was up.

Turkey chose the partners and their courses. Of course, he separated Japan and Taiwan. "England and Taiwan, you will be making bread with oil for appetizer. Seychelles and Spain will be making the main course, 'Her Majesty's Favorite.' And Ukraine and Japan will be making lamb kabobs." He handed each pair a recipe. All of the food, was, of course, Turkish.

South Korea rifled through a dresser drawer in the boys' cabin. Not finding any of his other underwear, he pulled out an extremely thin thong (with the South Korean flag design on it, of course). "Looks like it's your time to shine, da-ze!"

Yekaterina was clumsy by nature. It came as no surprise that she dropped all her garlic, then slipped on it and fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Turkey scowled. "More garlic!" he yelled at her.

"But these can still be use-"

"No, they've touched the ground. Only poor people use ingredients that have touched the ground. We have to have a quality meal in order to win this challenge, so I say more garlic! And try not to drop it this time."

Ukraine hung her head and dragged herself out of the kitchen. She got to the delivery truck and picked up another box of garlic. On her way back to the kitchen, she tripped head over heels, dropped the box, and landed under a tree. The impact agitated a hornet nest hanging from a branch. Her eyes widened as the hornets swarmed around her, sharp stingers poised to deliver painful pricks. She screamed and fled, completely forgetting about the garlic.

"Umm…Mr. Germany, may I ask you a question?" Hong Kong asked as he and Germany sliced some veggies.

"What is it?" Germany said. He anticipated that it was going to be about forgiving his team.

Sure enough, it was. "When are you going to stop being mad at us? We need your support to win these challenges. You're one of our strongest members."

Ludwig sighed, brushing an errant strand of hair back into place. "Hong Kong, I _do_ miss Italy. But I think I can bring myself to forgive most of you already. Except for my brother, of course, because he, in particular, was terribly mean to Italy."

Hong Kong nodded. "I understand. So we have your support in future challenges, except if it involves helping Prussia directly."

Ludwig gave an affirmative, then returned his laserlike focus to his task.

Mei and Kiku were working together since Ukraine wasn't there. England merely stepped out of the way and worked by himself. Turkey was displeased, but he didn't break the lovers up because he didn't want to offend Japan. The kitchen door flew ajar and in bounced Ukraine, covered from head to toe in hornet stings. Somehow, she had managed to reclaim the box of garlic. "Don't worry, I'm back!" she announced. She heaved the box at Japan, who failed to catch it and was instead smashed under it.

Taiwan winced.

"Oops," said Ukraine.

_We're doomed, _decided Turkey. _Between Ukraine's hornet stings and Japan's concussion, we don't stand a chance of winning the challenge._

Prussia and Hungary were making egg tarts for dessert. Prussia was rolling out the dough for the crust.

"Careful your big paws don't mash the pastries," Hungary cautioned.

"Careful your uptight butt doesn't curdle the custard," Gilbert shot back.

"Oh, ha-ha," Eliza said sarcastically, then gasped when she witnessed South Korea striding in through the door with his thong on.

"Okay, who took all my shorts, da-ze?"

Prussia, China and Hong Kong burst into uncontrolled laughter.

Cuba came to check the teams' progress. When he saw South Korea's thong, he winced, swiveled, and announced, "Three hours and counting, guys!"

Spain smashed tomatoes and added spices, making a sauce for "Her Majesty's Favorite."

Turkey inspected the sauce thoroughly, giving it a deep sniff. "Too much tomato and too little of everything else," he complained. "Seychelles, switch places with Spain."

Seychelles placed a hand on Antonio's shoulder as he was about to trade jobs with her. "I think the sauce is fine."

"I didn't get to be head chef because of poor balance," Turkey snarled.

"No, you got to be head chef because you called it!" Seychelles' voice was rising.

"Are you going to be a team player or not?" Turkey snapped.

"I'm a team player, but I'm allergic to those spices!" Seychelles yelled.

"Just start working. _Now_," Turkey commanded. As Seychelles opened up a spice jar, Turkey walked off. "Thanks, guys."

"Bossy jerk," Seychelles muttered, sprinkling the spice on the sauce. Unfortunately, some got on her hands and she had a rash in seconds. Marching over to Turkey, she demanded, "What do you recommend I do about _this_?" She held her palms out for Turkey to see.

"I recommend you scratch it after we win. Get back to work," ordered Turkey.

"Ugh!" Seychelles lunged at him. The other Gophers had to come and hold her back.

"Seychelles," said England, laying a hand on her shoulder. "I know how you feel. We all feel the same way, but right now, we need to focus on the challenge. You can strangle him later, okay?"

Seychelles relaxed a little, then sighed deeply. "Fine."

South Korea was cutting some dumpling skins out of a piece of dough. Of course, he was still wearing the thong.

China scolded, "South Korea, put some clothes on. It's unsanitary to cook in something so…small."

"Then give me my pants back, da-ze!" South Korea replied crossly.

"Okay, South Korea," said Prussia, patting him on the back. "If you go to the cabin, you'll find a clean pair of underwear and shorts waiting." After South Korea left, the three alliance members laughed their heads off.

South Korea arrived at the boys' cabin. He found the underwear and shorts there, as promised. He picked up the underwear. "That's more like it, da-ze."

What he didn't know was that the inside of the underwear had been drenched in super-spicy death hot sauce, which Prussia was holding at the moment as he guffawed.

When South Korea pulled the underwear up…

"My biscuits are burning, da-ze!" he screamed. Incited by the pain, he sprinted to the lake and dove in. "Ah…" While he soaked, he clenched his fists. "I'm going to get them for this, da-ze!"

"What's the problem?" demanded Turkey, approaching Ukraine, who was looking at the lamb chops, puzzled.

"I tried putting the stick through the chops, but it just won't go through," Ukraine explained.

"Did you try removing the bones from the lamb?" suggested Turkey.

"Oh," was all Yekaterina could say.

Turkey facepalmed. "Okay. Here's how you do it," he said. "First, you take out the bones, being careful not to tear the meat into little pieces." He stripped the meat from the bones expertly. "Then you stick the skewer through." He skewered the meat.

Unfortunately, Ukraine had forgotten to turn off the stove after she'd finished cooking the lamb, and Turkey was standing right next to it. The fire flared up suddenly, turning Turkey's mask and the freshly-made kabob into ashes.

"Whoa," gasped Ukraine, staring, wide-eyed, at Turkey's unmasked face.

"My mask!" Turkey screamed, shielding his face from view. "Ukraine, go get my spare mask from the cabin!"

"But how about the bees?" Yekaterina winced.

"Now!" commanded Turkey. Ukraine complied, dragging herself out the door.

Seychelles tapped Turkey on the shoulder. "Excuse me," she said rudely. "I need a bathroom break."

"Well, evidently, _I_ need a new mask! But we don't always get what we want, do we?" was Turkey's angry response. He collapsed on the counter. "Why do I have to be on a team of morons?"

_Someone has to teach that guy some respect,_ Seychelles resolved.

On the Bass' side, South Korea had just come back into the kitchen after his little trip to the cabin. He was wearing his South Korean-flag design (what other design would he wear?) pajamas.

"Nice Pj's," snickered Prussia.

"They're all I have left, da-ze," South Korea mumbled dejectedly. "So if you sickos want to see me butt-naked, hit me with your best shot, da-ze."

"Well, stop leaving your underwear all over the cabin and we'll back off," Gilbert told him.

"I told you it wasn't me, da-ze!" South Korea insisted.

"Well, the awesome me tried," Prussia said.

"Hey, I made some sandwiches. We could eat while we work," Hong Kong suggested, holding a tray of sandwiches aloft. "Like Master China always says, working without stopping is bad for your health."

"Oh, good, because I'm starving, da-ze!" South Korea declared. He reached out and grabbed a sandwich from the tray. He took a bite. "This tastes like sweat and lotion, da-ze. It's probably the worst sandwich ever, da-ze." He pulled something out from between the slices of bread. It was white and stretchy. It only took him a second to figure out what it was. "Gross, da-ze!" He had taken a bite out of his own underwear.

The other Bass (except for Germany) laughed hysterically.

"We'll return all your shorts and underwear when you admit your guilt," Hong Kong said.

Ukraine was on her way to the boys' cabin to fetch Turkey his spare mask. She hoped the bees in the hive hanging from the eave of the roof wouldn't notice her. As cautiously as she could, she tried tiptoeing past the hive.

_Boing. Boing-boing._

She attempted to keep her breasts still, but with no luck. Then poor Yekaterina stepped on a rake which was randomly lying around and fell to the ground with a mighty thump. The force from the fall was enough to knock the beehive from its place and make it land on top of her.

Ukraine returned, misshapen and covered in bee stings.

Turkey approached. "Don't just stand there, give it!"

Yekaterina muttered something incomprehensible and collapsed, flinging the spare mask through the air. As Turkey reached out to catch it, Seychelles roughly shoved him out of the way and caught the mask instead. Turkey picked himself up and tried snatching the mask from her, but Seychelles tossed it over his head to Spain. Spain stood on top of the cooking table, and as Turkey came over to claim his mask, he threw it to Ukraine, who had somehow managed to get up.

"In the fridge!" Seychelles shouted, waving a hand at Ukraine and holding the refrigerator door open.

Yekaterina hesitated, clutching the mask to her chest. Turkey snapped loudly in her face, holding out his open palm expectantly. She looked at him and smiled. "Woops," she said, flinging the mask over her shoulder into the gigantic meat refrigerator.

"No!" Turkey roared, rushing after the mask into the fridge. He plucked it from the floor and turned to exit, but stopped when he heard the metal door clanking shut behind him. "Hey! You can't do that!" he screamed. "I'm head chef!"

The three rebels crouched by the door, listening to Turkey rage inside his new enclosure.

"Do you think Turkey's really mad at us?" Ukraine wondered worriedly.

This suspicion was confirmed when vicious pounding fell on the metal door.

"He'll get over it," Seychelles assured her. "He needs to learn how to chill." She winked at the other two.

Prussia was sloppily squeezing egg custard into the little pastry crusts. The custard literally went over the top.

"You're such a slob," Hungary complained. "They all have to have the same amount of custard!"

"Oh, relax. They're fine," Gilbert replied nonchalantly. "Hanging around with the aristocrat for all these years has made you way too uptight."

"Yeah, right." Eliza defended herself. "I'm the most easygoing person I know!"

_Let's see how easygoing you are if I do this,_ Gilbert thought. He squeezed some custard on his childhood friend's face.

The response was instantaneous. Hungary snatched the extra bowl of custard and dumped it all over Prussia's head. She giggled and then scooped a little of the custard off his face, popping it into her mouth. As much as Prussia disliked being humiliated like that, he had to admit that he was falling more and more in love with Hungary with each thing she did.

Canada sat at a dining table which Cuba had prepared for him. Spain came and set his voodoo figurine on the corner of the table as a decoration. He bowed low in the direction of the chair behind the table. "Your meal will be right out, señor."

China approached and did likewise, lighting the candles on the table. "I'll serve you your meal in a second, Jianada."

Ukraine and Seychelles took a deep whiff of the food the Gophers had cooked up. It had turned out pretty well even though Japan hadn't been able to help and Turkey had been locked up in the meat fridge. (They'd also ordered England just to boil water and let Taiwan handle the bread.)

"I think we just might win this," Seychelles prophesied. "England, can you guard the food?"

Arthur nodded. Besides, how could he say no to Seychelles?

"Alright, let's do this." The rest of the Gophers (minus Japan and Turkey) headed out of the kitchen.

Turkey huddled in the fridge, shivering. _I'm going to kill them for doing this to me!_

England stood near the three Turkish courses. No matter how much he wanted to look away, his eyes kept straying to the lamb kabobs. He swore he saw little faces on the pieces of meat.

_We're not good enough, _the kabobs said. _We need to be seasoned by a master chef such as yourself._

"Are you sure?" Arthur looked suspiciously at the kabobs.

_Trust us,_ the kabobs assured him. _Everyone knows the English are the best chefs._

"That's true," the British gentleman agreed. A pinch of salt, a dash of pepper, some mashed peas and crushed scones went onto the kabobs. He sampled a small piece and smirked. _Job well done. _Then his eyes roved over to the bread. _Maybe some scones would be better than plain bread._

Matthew started with the Bass' meal. "These dumplings are delicious," he commented. Kumajirou, who was sitting on his owner's lap, relayed this to the Bass. The team brought in their steamed meat buns next. "On a scale of one to ten, fifteen!" Canada exclaimed. The Bass smiled at each other proudly.

It was now the Gophers' turn. Seychelles announced the deliverance of their food by making a grand gesture towards the kitchen door. However, when a few seconds passed and nothing happened, she burst through the entrance to find out what the holdup was. When she got into the kitchen, she gasped. The room looked like a disaster site. There was sauce on the walls, ripped packages of ingredients bleeding their contents out on the floor, and black scorch marks on the kitchen counter. In the middle of the floor sat England, his usually messy hair even messier than normal, his entire person dripping with sauce.

"W-what did you do?" stammered Seychelles. She examined the lamb kabobs, which now looked like an explosion on the plate. She put her face in her hands and moaned. Arthur frowned, the realization that he'd messed up sinking in. it was too late now, though. He carried the plate of kabobs out to Canada. Matthew winced and bit into a kabob tentatively. It was horrible, yet he'd had even worse. He scored it a two.

Prussia and Hungary's mediocre egg tarts earned a six. But it was nothing to worry about compared to how bad the scones with oil tasted. Canada choked on the scones, and Cuba had to squeeze and pound him to make him spit them out.

Ukraine suddenly remembered something. Turkey was still in the fridge! She ran in to get him out.

Everyone gasped when Turkey emerged from the kitchen. His face was completely blue, and even his mask had little icicles hanging from it. "You guys are s-s-s-so dead," he threatened, shivering. "Is it over?"

"Yes, it is," said Kumajirou. "The Bass win, twenty-one to twelve. And it's not just because my master nearly died." He glared pointedly at England. "The kabobs sucked, too."

"That's great!" roared Turkey. "Just great! Why do we keep losing, people?" He stalked over to the dining table and pointed a finger at the voodoo figurine. "And what's this? I didn't approve this!"

Antonio dashed over to claim his figurine. "I brought it over from the other island," he declared cheerfully. "I thought it would make a nice eating companion."

"What?" Turkey was incredulous.

"You mean Bony Island? Didn't I tell you not to take anything from there or you'd be cursed?" Cuba reminded Spain.

"I didn't know!" the Spaniard protested. "I'll put it back!"

"The Killer Bass now lead with seven members to the Gophers' soon-to-be six," Cuba announced. "And, as promised, the winners get a reward- a five-star dinner under the stars."

The Bass whooped and fist-pumped in triumph. Prussia and Hungary embraced one another. Eliza laughed in delight at first, then demanded that Gilbert put her down as the effect of the victory wore off.

Some of the Gophers sat together at the campsite, discussing who should be eliminated.

"I think Turkey has got to go," Seychelles said crossly. "How about you guys?"

"Yes," England agreed. "But Spain cursed us with that voodoo figurine."

"True," Seychelles agreed. "Dear curse, please hit Turkey next," she prayed. "And, if possible, hit him upside the head."

Turkey spoke with Ukraine in private behind the girls' cabin. "You know, I could convince the team to vote you off tonight. You were a major traitor." Yekaterina opened her mouth to speak, but Turkey put a hand over her mouth. "But," he continued, "You let me out of the fridge, so I'll give you one more chance _if_ you vote with me tonight." Ukraine nodded. "Good," said Turkey. He started to leave, but then stopped and turned. "And if you ever team up with Seychelles against me again, I'll cut off all your hair while you're sleeping." Ukraine's eyes widened and she cradled her scalp protectively.

_This vote is going to be hard. Seychelles is a royal pain, England screwed up the challenge. _Finally, Turkey decided on Spain. He had caused the Gophers to be on a losing streak with his accursed figurine.

Ukraine wanted to vote Turkey off in her heart of hearts, but of course, she had promised to vote with him instead of against him. It had been pretty funny when they'd locked him in the fridge, though.

England considered, then picked Spain.

The campfire ceremony began with much glaring from Turkey, directed at Seychelles and Spain.

"There are seven Gophers in front of me, but only six marshmallows on the tray," Cuba informed them. "Good luck. When I call your name, come claim your marshmallow."

"Seychelles." She left off glaring at Turkey and grabbed her bite-sized piece of salvation.

"England." Hardly able to contain his relief, the gentleman tried to look dignified as he went up.

"Taiwan." Delighted, she crossed over and closed her delicate fingers around her marshmallow.

"Japan." Poor Kiku had been icing his sore head, but he strode over as fast as he could. A smile played across his tired face. He took his seat and smiled at Mei. She smiled back.

"Ukraine." She took her marshmallow and sat down again, looking worriedly at Turkey. He had not been called yet.

"Turkey, Spain. It's down to you now. Whoever doesn't get called must immediately walk down the Dock of Shame and leave on the Boat of Losers. Forever. The final marshmallow goes to…"

Antonio crossed his fingers and toes for luck, squeezing his eyes shut.

Turkey stared at that final marshmallow. _That belongs to me!_ he screamed inside his head.

"Turkey."

"You heard him," Turkey sneered at Spain. "The Boat of Losers is waiting for you. That really was stupid of you to take that doll from the island."

Antonio dragged himself down the Dock of Shame, head hung low. It truly was shameful.

"Goodbye, Spain," Seychelles called after him, waving.

That night, as South Korea was sleeping, China, Hong Kong, and Prussia carried him, bed and all, out onto the dock. When he woke up the next morning, he heard many feminine screams in front of him. The girls were pointing, screaming, and averting their eyes. They had gone for their morning swim in the lake, but they had never expected to see…

"Aah!" South Korea realized that he was completely naked in front of all those girls. He quickly grabbed his pillow and covered himself up.

His three tormentors rowed a canoe past him.

"Fine, I'll stop, da-ze!" South Korea gave in.

"We'll need more than that, man!" Prussia yelled back.

"I'll never leave my crusty underwear out again!" South Korea hollered at the top of his lungs.

"I believe him," said Hong Kong. He chucked the bag containing all of South Korea's underwear to him.

"Pleasure doing business with you!" China called, and the three guys laughed together loudly.

South Korea didn't stop running until he got back to the boys' cabin, where he slipped on a nice clean pair of South-Korean-flag-design underwear.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the long wait (again)! =( I had to do my summer work, but now that I'm finished, I'll try to write whenever I can and hopefully get a few chapters done in a short time before schoolwork piles up. Russia, you irresponsible jerk! DX**

* * *

The nations lined up for breakfast. Taiwan stood in line as Cuba spooned some mushy leftovers onto her tray.

"What is this?" she asked suspiciously, eyeing the squishy stuff.

"Leftovers from the cooking challenge," Cuba replied nonchalantly. "This is the last of it 'cause over here we don't waste food." He made it sound like an order.

"Sir, yes, sir," Mei muttered, saluting. Cuba returned the gesture.

"Achoo!" Turkey had still not wholly recovered from his time in the fridge. He blew into a tissue and huddled, shivering, wrapped in a thick blanket he'd brought from the cabin.

As Taiwan and Seychelles came to sit down, Turkey snapped (with a nasally voice), "You think you can just lock me up in the fridge like that, huh? Well, I'll make you regret ever meeting me."

"Too late," Taiwan whispered to Seychelles. Both girls giggled.

"You are such a…a-a-a-achoo!" Mucus flew from Turkey's mouth. "Ugh! I hate this place!"

Over at the Bass' table, China petted his newfound friend, an adorable little bunny. He took a sip of hot green tea and then spit it into the rabbit's mouth. Hong Kong tried not to look too grossed out.

Prussia was filling a glass with beer from a bottle on the drink counter. When he thought no one was looking, he quickly snatched another bottle and pocketed it.

Someone was looking, though. And that someone turned out to be the one person who would give him the hardest time about it.

"How could you steal a bottle like that?" Hungary scolded.

"The awesome me needs beer on the go," Gilbert protested. He took his seat at the table, avoiding Hungary's gaze.

"But you might get kicked off," Eliza reminded him.

"Aww," said Gilbert. "And the awesome me thought you didn't care."

Eliza clenched her fists. "We're one player short, and I don't want to lose because you decided to turn into a criminal."

"Whatever," said Prussia, kicking his feet up onto the table. "You dig the awesome me."

"Gah! Why do I even bother?!" Hungary rolled her eyes in exasperation and stalked off.

After breakfast, the countries headed out to the beach and met Cuba, Canada, and Kumajirou on the dock.

"The Gophers got a little mean last time," Canada said worriedly. Kumajirou repeated this to their audience. Turkey and Seychelles glared at each other pointedly.

"And there's something going on with the Bass, too," Canada speculated, glancing at Prussia and Hungary. Gilbert smirked at Eliza. She punched him in the stomach.

"This week's challenge is about building trust," Matthew told Kumajirou with a smile. The little polar bear relayed this to the others.

Taiwan frowned. She'd trusted Kiku once, and he'd left her buried alive on the beach.

Cuba started with the instructions. "There will be three major challenges that will have to be completed by two or more members of your team. And you don't get to choose your partners."

When the campers heard the latter sentence, they moaned and grumbled. A few of them uttered profanities in their native tongues.

A couple minutes later, the contestants were congregated next to a steep cliff.

"The first challenge is freehand rock climbing," announced Cuba. "Prussia and China will play for the Bass, Turkey and Taiwan for the Gophers."

Mei groaned.

"Here's your rope and harness." Cuba tossed the gear to the designated participants. Mei caught the items but was quickly robbed of the rope by Turkey.

"I'm not letting you hold me up," Turkey snarled.

"You won't exactly be holding each other up," Cuba amended. "One partner will pull the rope through the clip, and if the climber falls, the clip will stop them from crashing. The catch is that the base and sides of the cliff are rigged with distractions like rusty nails, slippery oil slicks, mild explosives and a few other surprises."

"Which are all cool because they were made in South Korea, da-ze."

"The person holding the rope must also harness their partner up. It's all about trust. And remember, _never_ let go of the rope." Cuba emphasized this with a squint. "Your partner's life depends on it."

Taiwan raised her hand high into the air. "Excuse me? Can we trade partners? I really don't feel like being dropped on my head today."

Turkey grinned. "Rest assured, as much as I hate you, I won't kill you…yet."

Prussia was strapping China into his harness. His eyes widened when a diminutive gray head with huge eyes and ears poked out of China's sleeve.

"Oh, sorry-aru~" Wang Yao apologized to the rabbit. "You can't come along with me, but I'll let Hong Kong take care of you-aru~" He beckoned Hong Kong over. "Please take care of him while I'm gone-aru~" He held the bunny out to Hong Kong.

"Of course," Hong Kong answered. The rabbit hopped into his hands and stared up at him with its wide eyes.

Turkey had just finished strapping Taiwan's ropes and harness on.

Taiwan glanced down. "What's the second rope for?"

"A back-up line," Turkey replied with the biggest grin Mei had ever seen.

"What are you smiling about?" Taiwan knew the masked bastard had something up his sleeve.

"Nothing. I'm just really glad we got on this challenge together." It was a transparent lie and Turkey knew it. But it was time for revenge.

Taiwan scaled the cliff, passing her former master. She deftly avoided the rusty nails protruding from the cliff face, only to be blown off by the explosives higher up. She screamed as she plummeted through the air, but ceased when the ropes stopped her fall. Down below, Turkey called, "It's okay! I've got you!" He was then hit in the face by a blast of extra-spicy habañero sauce (Cuba's recipe). "What the hell?!" He let go of the ropes supporting Taiwan, sending her crashing to the ground. Luckily, she hadn't been very far up.

Cuba held the sauce gun, grinning. "_Muy caliente_." Next, he fired at Prussia, but the albino just turned his head and opened his mouth, downing the deathly hot substance.

"That the best you got?" Gilbert said with a smirk.

Mei was faster than Wang Yao. She was slightly lighter and didn't have to look so hard to find the next handhold. As she passed China up again, Turkey yelled, "Come on, Taiwan! You don't want to fall _behind_." Simultaneously, he yanked one of the ropes, ripping the back of Taiwan's shorts (she wore shorts for this challenge because she didn't want to ruin her customary pink dress) off completely. The piece of fabric fell down onto China's face. Mei gasped in horror.

"Well, you don't see that every day," commented Prussia, his eyes soaking up Taiwan's pink frilly panties. Hungary caught him looking and crossed her arms in disapproval.

Wang Yao removed the fabric from his face and got a full, up-close view of Mei's ass. Shocked, he let go of the torn piece and she reached down and grabbed it. He continued falling and it would've been fine if Prussia hadn't let go of the rope and gotten his leg entangled in it. He was hoisted up while China fell down until they were at the same level. There they hung, upside-down, like a pair of bolos.

"This is so un-awesome," Gilbert groaned.

"Tell me about it-aru~" Wang Yao agreed, the blood already rushing to his head.

Taiwan made a feeble attempt to cover up her panties with the piece from her shorts, then she gave up. Holding the fabric in her mouth, she made her way up the cliff to the very top.

"Looks like the Gophers have won the first challenge," announced Kumajirou the floating bear.

"Yeah!" Mei raised a fist in triumph, then remembered she was in her panties and covered up quickly.

Cuba stood at the podium in the makeshift auditorium they'd set up for round two. Japan and Ukraine stood on the Gophers' side and Hong Kong and Sealand stood on the Bass' side. "The second challenge is an extreme cooking challenge," said Cuba. "First decide on who will be the cook and who will be the diner."

Hong Kong considered for a while. Sealand was just a kid; he wouldn't know how to properly cook. After a little internal debate, he decided that he would cook. He told Sealand, and the child nation looked none too pleased but grudgingly agreed.

"I'll cook, Japan!" Yekaterina offered ecstatically.

"Okay," was the brief reply. Japan knew that Ukraine wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but this was only cooking. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

Kiku immediately regretted his decision when the main (and only) ingredient was revealed to be fugu, traditional Japanese poisonous blowfish. They would be making fugu sashimi. "B-but…" he stammered. "That contains enough toxin to kill thirty people!"

Cuba reached into the blowfish tank and snatched the creatures by their tails, hurling them onto the teams' cooking tables.

Canada used a pointer to indicate the poisonous organs on a blowfish diagram. Kumajirou said, "What Japan said is right. The blowfish must be prepared very carefully, cutting around the poisonous organs. The poison causes nerve paralysis and there's no antidote."

"No pressure," snickered Cuba. "And, Japan, you can't try to help Ukraine in any way. Do that and you're disqualified."

Kiku's eyes widened. He sighed and instructed Ukraine to just look at the diagram. He shut his eyes and hoped for the best.

Yekaterina gave the fugu a nervous little jab with the kitchen knife. It released all its air, crashing through the window.

Hong Kong pinpointed the poisonous organs using the diagram and severed them from the rest of the body. He then cut off the spikes and chopped the meat into small, round rings. He presented the completed dish to Sealand. The small boy grabbed his fork and speared a ring, tentatively raising it to his mouth. The host, his bear, and his assistant looked on. The host was especially nervous. He didn't want Sealand to be paralyzed at such a young age.

The meat entered Sealand's mouth. He chewed, then swallowed. After a moment that seemed to stretch into eternity, he smiled and gave Hong Kong a thumbs-up. "That actually tasted really good." He proceeded to gobble up the entire dish.

Ukraine was done, too. Unlike Hong Kong's dish, hers was not arranged in a nice, neat set of rings, or any recognizable shape for that matter. It was an unsightly pile of pink mush with a couple dollops of ketchup forming a smiley face on top. There were still some bits of fin and head sticking out.

Japan was well aware of what was going to happen next. He'd seen it happen in the news. Incompetent sashimi chefs poisoned people all the time. He could've refused. He could've put his foot down. But he did it for the challenge. A second after he'd ingested a lump of the mush, his arm moved independently and he delivered three punches to his own forehead. He seemed to be fine for a second after that, then he collapsed onto the floor. His whole face had turned blue. He made a futile effort to pull himself up using the edge of the table. Everyone gasped and winced as he collapsed again, twitching, vomit streaming out of his mouth.

"Give him twenty-four hours and he'll be fine," Cuba assured them. No one believed him, though.

Hong Kong figured he'd go swimming since his challenge was done. He invited Sealand to come with him, and the kid eagerly agreed. Before he entered the water, he put China's rabbit in a wooden chair on the dock. Then he and Sealand dove into the water and released some tension from the challenge.

When they got out after their much-needed swim, Sealand looked at the chair and gasped. Hong Kong whirled and saw a nasty-looking snake about to devour the bunny whole. "No!" He dashed over as fast as his legs would carry him, but it was too late. A pulsating lump slid through the reptile's body. The snake got off the chair and slithered towards Hong Kong. He cautiously approached, and when the snake was close enough, he dove at it. He came up empty-handed, though, because right at that moment, an eagle swooped down and snatched the snake up in its talons.

_How do I get it now?_ wondered Hong Kong. Fortunately for him, the eagle landed on the far edge of the dock. Tiptoeing, he tried his luck again. Luck was something he didn't have. The eagle, snake and rabbit were all eaten by a monstrous shark that bit off the whole end of that dock and disappeared beneath the water again. He slammed his face into his hands in frustration.

The third round was held in the woods.

Cuba addressed the teams. "The third round consists of three more challenges. All of these will be done blindfolded. Blind William Tell, blind trapeze, and blind toboggan."

Wang Yao was preoccupied with an entirely different matter. "Where's my bunny? I miss him-aru~" he whispered to Hong Kong.

"Bunny? Uhh…I'll go get him," Hong Kong replied.

"Like legendary marksman William Tell, you'll be knocking arrows off your partners' heads with crabapples." Kumajirou seemed to be having fun tossing a crabapple up repeatedly.

"I think it was the other way around," corrected Hungary.

"Nah," said Cuba. "Also, the shooter will be blindfolded. The person who knocks off the arrow while causing the least amount of facial damage wins." He blindfolded himself and loaded a slingshot with a crabapple. His shot nailed China in the balls, causing him to keel over.

"Aww, nuts!" exclaimed Cuba when he realized he'd missed. "Seychelles and England, you'll be one team, Germany and Hungary, you'll be the other."

"You can shoot since you're a good shot," Hungary told Germany.

"I'm not sure about blindfolded shooting," Ludwig replied. "I've never tried it."

"I think you can do it," Eliza assured him.

The first few apples from both Seychelles and Germany missed the arrows, hitting their partners' torsos. Four of Seychelles' apples bounced off of England's protective eyewear, and it was the same with Germany and Hungary.

But then something unexpected happened. Ludwig turned towards his older brother and started firing. He seemed to know exactly where Prussia was. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Gilbert was bombarded by the rock-hard crabapples and fell, bruised and shocked, to the ground.

"Stop firing! Stop firing!" hollered Cuba. "Seychelles already won!"

It was true. As Germany had busied himself pelting Prussia with apples, Seychelles had lodged an apple on England's arrow and made it fall off his head.

Still the vengeful Germany wouldn't listen. He kept loosing apples until his brother was black and blue.

"What was that, Germany?" Eliza was outraged. She shielded her childhood friend with her own body until she, too, was battered.

"Restrain him," Matthew told Cuba, voice quavering.

"Don't need to tell me that, I'm on it." First, Cuba took the slingshot from Ludwig's hands. Then he wrapped his muscular arms around the larger country and dragged him away with difficulty, receiving a few punches from the furious German.

It was time for the second blind challenge. The blind trapeze.

Cuba had returned after locking Germany in the outhouse. Panting and sweating, he said, "For this challenge, you'll stand on the ledge, blindfolded, until your partner tells you to jump. Your partner will be swinging on this trapeze, and if they don't catch you, you'll fall into the water below, which is full of electric jellyfish."

"Where's my bunny?" China was genuinely beginning to worry.

"Uhh…umm…" Hong Kong was at a momentary loss for words. Wang Yao then proceeded to make the saddest face he'd ever seen. "He, uh, hopped away. But, uh, I'm sure he'll be back. I'm sorry."

China sniffled and turned away. "It's not your fault-aru~. My little bunny, we were such good friends. Why did you leave me-aru~?!" He sobbed into his hands.

In the infirmary, Prussia heard Wang Yao's lament. His bruises had been swabbed by Canada already, and Canada was currently busying himself with Japan (who was still vomiting), so he slowly got out of his bed and snuck away.

South Korea hung by his legs on the trapeze, swinging back and forth. Sealand was blindfolded, clinging to pole that supported the ledge.

"Jump now, da-ze!" South Korea instructed.

But Sealand was scared. He clung to the pole with all his might.

"Please trust me, da-ze."

Sealand gave a small nod and let go of the pole.

South Korea counted off. "One, two, three, jump, da-ze!"

Sealand leaped off the ledge, locking his fingers tightly with South Korea's. They swung safely over the electrifying jellyfish.

It was the Gophers' turn. Turkey was the jumper, Ukraine the trapeze artist.

"Okay. One, two, three…jump! Wait, no, don't jump yet!" yelled Ukraine.

Turkey went "plop" right into the electric-jellyfish-infested water and screamed his head off. The rest of the Gophers looked on in horror, but one particular Asian island nation couldn't help feeling satisfaction.

Turkey strode to the infirmary, cursing Yekaterina. "I can't believe I trusted that- ow!" The huge jellyfish on his head sent a wave of electricity through its tentacles. "Nasty, stinging jellyfish! Ow!"

Elizabeta woke up. She'd actually been knocked out cold by the crabapples. Her injuries were worse than Prussia's. "Huh? Where am I?"

"You're in the infirmary," Turkey told her. "Hey, Canada, if you're there, do you have anything for electric jellyfish stings?"

Canada raised a bottle of ointment in reply.

"Good," sighed Turkey, laying down on a bed.

Hungary looked around. Where was Prussia? She spotted him outside the infirmary, coaxing a rabbit with a carrot. _What's he doing with a rabbit?_

"And now, the final leg. The blind toboggan race," said Cuba. "Each team will have a driver and a navigator. The driver steers while the navigator shouts directions. And the driver will be blindfolded." He scanned the remaining contestants that weren't in the infirmary or locked in the outhouse. "Not many of you left. Hmm…Taiwan and Seychelles, Hong Kong and China."

"China, we have to focus here," Hong Kong told his former master when they got to the top of the cliff they'd be riding the toboggan down. "I know you're sad about your pet bunny, but this could be life or serious injury."

"Bunny deserted me. Why should I trust you-aru~?" Wang Yao faced away from him.

"Because I don't want to get hurt either," answered Hong Kong.

Cuba counted down when the participants had climbed aboard their toboggans. After "one", he blew an air horn and they took off down the incline.

"Right!" yelled Taiwan. Seychelles steered to the left. "No, your other right!" They narrowly avoided a fallen tree trunk.

"Watch out for that tree!" was the best Hong Kong could do.

The girls glided off a protruding rock that acted as a ramp. Seychelles cheered as they were launched through the air.

"I don't want to die!" Mei covered her face with her hands. Water splashed up around them as they landed in a river…which led to a waterfall. Luckily, it was only a small waterfall and they bounced off a protruding log, flying through the air again.

China wasn't attempting to steer. Hong Kong was scared of what would happen. "Please, China, we need you to steer. Your bunny would want you to live!" No reply from Wang Yao.

"Hey, China!" a loud voice split the air. "Look who I found!" Prussia had a familiar furry friend in his hands.

"China! Prussia found your bunny!" Hong Kong hollered.

"Huh?" Wang Yao lifted up his blindfold to confirm if it was true. When he saw his beloved bunny, his resolve returned. "Let's do this-aru~" he said, flipping the blindfold back into place.

"Left! Right!" Hong Kong instructed. "Go!"

The two girls crashed down a little in front of them.

Both of the navigators frantically screamed directions. Soon it was clear that natural obstacles weren't the only things they should watch out for. There had been some leftover dynamite after the climbing challenge, and the rule was not to waste. Cuba was detonating the dynamite. One bundle of the explosives detonated under Hong Kong and China's toboggan, blowing them sky-high.

The girls, on the other hand, managed to dodge the explosives. The Gophers at the finish line cheered.

The cheer quickly died down when the two Bass landed at the finish line, splitting the ribbon in half. It was the Bass' turn to cheer now.

China took off his blindfold and had a joyous reunion with his rabbit, twirling 'round and 'round with the little creature in his hands. "Thanks, Prussia. You're the best-aru~"

"Whatever. It's just a stupid rabbit," Gilbert replied. "But the awesome me does agree that I'm the best."

When they were alone, Hungary approached Prussia. "I can't believe you got a new bunny for China. You're actually a good guy."

"What? I'm not good. I'm the biggest badass I know."

"No, you're actually nice."

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you do it, Gil."

"Whatever. The weird rabbit wouldn't leave the awesome me alone."

Eliza kept smiling at him until he gave in. "Alright, I did it, okay? Just don't tell anyone. The awesome me doesn't want to look…soft and un-awesome."

"Your secret's safe with me," promised Hungary with a wink.

"And the Bass are the winners of the toboggan race," said Cuba. The victorious team cheered and fist-pumped in triumph.

The big let-down. "Unfortunately, I said these were blind challenges. China, by taking off your blindfold, even for a split second, you broke the number one rule, which makes the Gophers today's big winners!"

Shouts of "Yeah!" and "Alright!" came from the Gophers' side.

Cuba had his tray of marshmallows at the ready that night. "One for Prussia, one for Sealand, one for Hungary." He tossed the three of them their tasty treats of exemption.

"China and Hong Kong." The two Asian countries ate their sweet confections of security.

"Looks like there's only one left. Germany and South Korea, it's down to you two."

Germany scowled bitterly, knowing full well what was to come.

South Korea didn't know, though. He swallowed hard, shaking in his shoes.

"The last marshmallow goes to…South Korea."

_Sorry, Italy. I couldn't win for you. _He stood up stoically, every pore of his body seeping resent. But it wasn't resent at his brother. It was resent at himself. He took stiff steps to the edge of the dock.

_West had it coming, _thought Prussia. _Sorry, West._

Hungary breathed a sigh of relief. No more unnecessary rage on their team anymore.

Ludwig's spirits were at an all-time low. However, when he saw who was aboard the Boat of Losers, waiting for him, he dashed on board into Italy's embrace.

"Sorry," he apologized to his best friend.

"I never wanted you to win, Germany. All I wanted was for you to come back and enjoy a plate of pasta with me," Feliciano admitted with his beautiful smile.

"Oh, you even cooked pasta for me for when I came back? Thanks, Italy." All of Germany's anger melted away, and he sat on the deck with Italy, talking and laughing the long ride back.


End file.
